Hard-Boiled Times
layiing it straight
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Reviews from
Sequelae


exploring the collateral damage

  28 total reviews 
Comment by
Aphthong
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  Rank:  480
 
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Wonderful poem.. Imaging the aftermath of Edward Arlington Robinson's poem, "Richard Cory", you showed your brilliance.. Nice flow and tone and rhyming beautifully.. Hats off..


 Comment Written 03-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
    Thanks - I've always loved the Edward Arlington Robinson poem amd thought it would be interesting to write a sequel,
Comment by
Dancemom
 
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This is a beautiful well written poem. Except for the father part, this poem sounded exactly like me in school. I even had AP chem. Your poem has a nice flow and rhyming pattern. Great job! Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful day.


 Comment Written 09-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    High school wasn't my favorite phase of life either. Thankfully, it was only 4 years and things got better.
Comment by
Minglement
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Such a poignant poem Imagining the effect sometimes others have to pay for things that aren't their fault. Thanks for sharing the original poem as well


 Comment Written 08-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Thanks - I love the original poem and couldn't help but imagining - what if Richard Cory had a family?

reply by Minglement on 10-Feb-2020
    You're so welcome. Imagining is what we do ;)

reply by Minglement on 10-Feb-2020
    You're so welcome. It's what we do - imagine ;)
Comment by
Sugarray77
Melissa
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Your verse amplifies the plight of the children of suicide and how they have to cope with so many emotions and a feeling of social ostracism. A very adept writing of this dilemma.

Melissa


 Comment Written 08-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Thanks Melissa. I love the original poem and couldn't help but imagining - what if Richard Cory had a family?
Comment by
robyn corum
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Mark,

Oh, wow. I hadn't seen that poem (the first) in a looong time. It is still just as chilling and the message is still just as valid and strong. Wow.

Your follow-up is another powerful piece about selfish acts and the damage they do to the people left behind. And it doesn't have to be suicide, does it?

A really good poem and a great message, bro. Hugs--


 Comment Written 08-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Thank you Sis - yeah, the original poem does stick with you, doesn't it - so stark. I recently saw "The Simon and Garfunkel Story" (a new musical play) with my daughter and their song, "Richard Cory" was featured in that. Given that I was with my daughter it made me think, "What if Richard Cory had a daughter?" And then I thought,"I wish I had some M&Ms" (I can only be philosophical for brief periods.

reply by robyn corum on 10-Feb-2020
    hahahahaha!!!
Comment by
susand3022
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That's really good, Mark. I've never thought of working something in that way before. I've been writing things that have historical leanings one way or another, recently. I really like the way you made a sequel to the original poem. Was this a real person with a daughter? Or was Richard Cory just a fictitious image?


 Comment Written 07-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    I assume that Richard Cory was an invention of Edward Arlington Robinson and decided to expand upon his invention to imagine the aftermath of his suicide.
Comment by
Mastery
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Semper Fi
 
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Pretty strong emotional stuff here, My friend. What in the world steered you to write this one? Just curious? It is well done poetically and you get a point across very well.

(Do you know the lyrics to the theme from"Mash" ?

Let me know if you do or don't. :) Bob

Bless you my friend. Bob


 Comment Written 07-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    I recently saw the new musical "The Simon and Garfunkel Story" with my daughter. One of the songs featured in the musical was "Richard Cory", their re-telling of the poem. Givan that I was sitting next to my daughter, it made me think "What if Richard Cory had a daughter?"

    Yes, I don't recall all the lyrics, but I'm aware that the theme from MASH ("Suicide is Painless") deals with suicide and was written by Loudon Wainwright of Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road fame.

    Thanks for reading this one.

reply by Mastery on 10-Feb-2020
    Hi Mark. Good to hear from you my friend. Interesting the way that came about for you.

    Yeah, I was shocked to hear the lyric from Mash when I found out. ? Take care Mark and GO CUBS!
Comment by
Katherine M. Kean
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A wonderful piece. I especially liked "Some say Julie's taciturn, and some think she's insane," except I think I would have added the word introverted, somehow.


 Comment Written 07-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
    I agree - going to make that change - thanks!

reply by Katherine M. Kean on 07-Feb-2020
    yeh, but don't lose insane. That's a really strong image
Comment by
sandramitchell
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Sandra Mitchell
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What a really sad poem, yours is better than the original that you are sequelling. The daughter is left wondering what the hell happened, her life completely throw into chaos. Why would a father and a man who seemed to have it all, do that? Wonderfully worded, Mark and a real pleasure to read such a good story poem. :)) Sandra xx


 Comment Written 07-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Thanks Sandra. I used to work as a psychotherapist and often dealt with suicidal clients. Almost always, what stopped them was their realization of what it would do to their families.
Comment by
zeezeewriter
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I don't normally leave reviews on poetry because often, my review must be longer than the post. But not in this instance. Your insight on your protagonist is spot on. Very excellent job of saying so much with so few words.


 Comment Written 07-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Thanks so much for taking the time to review this one and for the generous rating. I wanted to keep it as short as the original.
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