What an inventive story! It's also very well written, and I didn't come across any errors.
I have also heard of the "radium girls," and it's an incredibly tragic part of our industrial history. I like the way you wove it into a science fiction story and gave this girl (and her deceased mother) superpowers.
I kind of wish you could have had Twenty disable the two agents and their vehicle, or knock each other out, rather than killing them off with two notches in her belt, but I guess she figured that once they were able to, they would continue searching for her and never leave her be.
All in all it is a very creative and fascinating story!
They say they want to help you," she was muttering under her breath, "Help themselves to you, that's what they really want to do" Wow this is quite a delightful prophecy. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Hello Pit Viper, a wonderful Wednesday to you. I hope this finds you well. Thank you for sharing your story, I really liked it. It was a well-written, enjoyable read. I really enjoy young adult, sci-fi, and dystopian stories. Good job and good luck in the contest. You should really think of expanding this if you already haven't, I'm sure I would enjoy an entire novel with this character and storyline. Have a great day!
This is superb. I really enjoyed it from beginning to end. The part I preferred, predictably perhaps, was the dramatic demonstration of Twenty's supernatural powers (no willpower these men, ha, ha). The part I had rather more problems with was the horrible experiences Twenty had in her care homes - I hope it's rare that things are that bad.
Do you think the transmission is sex-linked? or was that random just because your sample size was so small?