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Spiritual impotence at the Mall-


Observing the swamp through a Biblical worldview

  2 total reviews 
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  25
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  Rank:  9
 

#9 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Poet
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Wow, DJ -- let's see... quite metaphorical and although somewhat realistic and, perhaps (just perhaps), a bit of soothsaying mixed in there for good measure. :) :) This is quite the vision you have painted sir... and just when the reader thinks it's going to be pure metaphor, the toad becomes irrelevant and the vision spreads out to the reader and beyond... well-written as it certainly got me thinking, sir! ;) Gotta say, never quite envisioned the the Washington Monument being Lucifer's thing-a-ling-a-ling, but has always been phalic... LOL! Very interestingly so since it is two distinct colors from where the builders ran out of the expensive stone and had to finish with the cheaper stuff.... :) Thanx for sharing! ;) Yvette


 Comment Written 18-Feb-2020


Comment by
Mary Kay Bonfante
Premier Author
 
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  Rank:  80
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  Rank:  95
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  Rank:  112
 
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This allegory is a scathing criticism of the politics in our Capitol, but very well written, with a great creative flair. I don't hate DJT as much as many others do, but I am deeply concerned about his role as President, and his possible re election.

I am appalled at how deeply divided our nation is -- not only our nation, but our churches, too. I am a Christian and appreciate what DJT has done for the Evangelical community, and for Israel (as well as calling attention to human trafficking), but it kind of stops there. I don't even want to be known as an Evangelical Christian because of the movement's association with Trump. "Born-again" or "Bible-believing" Christian works just fine for me.
My main problem with Trump is not his policies (although I don't agree with many of them), but his dishonesty and other moral flaws he's exhibited over the years, some of which have only been brought to light by the limelight of the Executive Office. His kowtowing to foreign dictators is particularly disturbing.

I found some errors. Most of them have to do with either an over-use of commas, or fragments which are not complete sentences. You can probably look up rules and guidelines about comma usage on Google or a book on grammar and usage. Fragments can be avoided by rearranging sentence structure.

known to man, (The politician, and his unelected bureacrats) that -->
known to man (the politician, and his unelected bureaucrats), that

Standing, (in name only)
-->
It stood (in name only),

for it's real king, -->
for its real king,

Patriots that gave their, pre-ordained lives
-->
Patriots that gave their pre-ordained lives

Holy spirit of Truth,
-->
Holy Spirit of Truth,

blew so hard that it, spiritually knocked
-->
blew so hard that it spiritually knocked

helplessly across part of "the swamp".
-->
helplessly across part of "the swamp."

this Whitehouse? -->
this White House?

A totally unique, critter
-->
A totally unique critter

This golden Toad, then hopped right up, and onto
-->
This golden Toad then hopped right up, and onto

This golden Toad, croaks and croaks and croaks some more. Brazenly hopping up...
-->
This golden Toad croaks and croaks and croaks some more, brazenly hopping up...

The Toad even extends its powerful, new found, legs out over the edges of the obelisk. Offering hope...
-->
The Toad even extends its powerful, newfound legs out over the edges of the obelisk, offering hope...

separated from it's collective whole.
-->
separated from its collective whole.

Even trying to envision the Toad's offered-up rescue,...
-->
They tried to envision the Toad's offered-up rescue,...
(Otherwise you don't have a complete sentence, as in other instances where I've made suggestions.)

They are afraid -->
Yet they are afraid
(Gives continuity with previous thought/ sentence)

If they take, even one step too far one way, they fear, they would expose to the world, their own...
-->
If they take even one step too far one way, they fear they would expose to the world their own...

But, they also know, -->
But they also know, OR
However, they also know,

that by by various means
-->
that by various means

The path back to Liberty, to them, (Without God's help) seems impossible.
-->
The path back to Liberty, to them, (without God's help) seems impossible.

to try to make the Toad just "Go away!".
-->
to try to make the Toad just "Go away!" (double punctuation not necessary)

"off -gassing" -->
"off-gassing"

They don't , or they can't even notice,
-->
They don't, or they can't even notice,

that they will just, eventually continue to shrivel. Shrivel up into a dust...
-->
that they will just, eventually continue to shrivel -- shrivel up into a dust...

this Historic "game", that is playing out...
-->
this historic "game" that is playing out...

and the part that us, mere mortal men,
-->
and the part that we, mere mortal men,

On Earth as it is in Heaven', as Jesus taught us ALL to pray)
-->
On Earth as it is in Heaven," as Jesus taught us ALL to pray).

I think it's very delightful and positive, that you have closed your commentary with a prayer. We need to continue praying as much as we can for the current crisis. I don't want DJT to win again, but I'm sorry to say, the Democrats don't look very promising at the moment. Prayer changes things!


 Comment Written 18-Feb-2020


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