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Reviews from
Bill Discovers Emberliam


a one-scene script read aloud

  12 total reviews 
Comment by
susand3022
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  29
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  23 (+3)
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  32
Script Rating
  Rank:  8
Review Stars
  Rank:  16
 

#8 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Bill, Do you read them your silly stories about them? Do they like them? I bet they do. My son wanted me to write a book for him once. I did. He wanted it to be about Sonic the Hedgehog. I figured if I was going to write him a book, I could put a hedgehog in it, I could make it blue(ish) but it couldn't be Sonic, or I couldn't ever publish it. He was so mad at me for putting him in a book and that it wasn't about Sonic that he wouldn't even read it. Now I can't find it anywhere. All I can find is a character list. :(


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
    Keep looking. Thanks for giving this a look.
Comment by
Darlene Franklin
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  57 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  47
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  38
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  151
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Oh, how funny. Emberliam. Haha! I wondered if that was the representation of a Cockney accent or something. Together I bet they feel as forceful as a robot!


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
    What was that accent? Something Slavic I think.
Comment by
Suzanna Ray
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  97 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  156
Review Stars
  Rank:  52
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Dear Bill, because I got a new stock of six stars, I wanted to be sure You got the First one. You deserve it for your creative dialog alone! ( and probably another for creative ideas! . . how clever to created a script about a goofy conversation with your grandchildren. . The great, all powerful, EMBERLIAM


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
    Thank you, Suzanna, for the terrific comments and sixth star. ill
Comment by
2019 Novelist of the Year
Ulla
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  71
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  77
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  45
 

#2 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
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Hi Bill, you've created a great script describing a scene from you interaction with your grandchildren. It is wonderfully confirming and you certainly speak funny to them, and they seem to love it. Good luck. Ulla:))


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
    Thanks, Ulla
Comment by
Mistydawn
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  Rank:  14
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Review Stars
  Rank:  76
 
Excellent
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What a fun script. It's very imaginative. It sounds like you and your grandbabies have a lot of fun together. Little Kimberly will be talking non- stop before you know it. They grow so fast. It's very well-written, interesting, an enjoyable read.


 Comment Written 20-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
    Thank you, MD
Comment by
djsaxon
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  176
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Review Stars
  Rank:  282
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Love this, Bill. Grandchildren everywhere should be so lucky. The loving dynamic between "Gramps" and the children is made all the more potent by the kids speaking using 'conventional' English. A delight to read. Author notes were a bonus. Cheers - DJ


 Comment Written 19-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
    Thank you, DJ, for the positive review. Bill
Comment by
kahpot
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  41
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  23
 
Excellent
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You have set up a wonderful image here, your notes helped, of a granddad playing with his grand children, as granddad tries communicating in little language, had to read some lines a few times but got it all in the end, very well done****kahpot


 Comment Written 19-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
    Thanks, kahpot
Comment by
Mary Kay Bonfante
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  51
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  79 (+1)
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  75
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This script tells a very cute story about how you as a grandfather have fun with your three little grandchildren. You really manage to make your words come out very humorously, and I think it must be extremely entertaining for the little ones. Then having the children climb onto each other to form a robot -- whose idea was that? Hilarious! That, and the idea of "collecting" Grandpa. Total cuteness! Very sweet. Thanks for sharing this.


 Comment Written 19-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
    Thank you, Mary Kay

reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 19-Feb-2020
    You're very welcome.
Comment by
nomi338
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  136
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  125
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hm, I see we have been into the spirits again. You have such interesting trips. I wonder where they take you. What do you see, hear and do? I would like to follow and monitor your steps from time to time. LOL.


 Comment Written 19-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
    Thanks, nomi. Grab a flashlight and a gunny sack.

reply by nomi338 on 20-Feb-2020
    Heaven hep me. Here we goooooo!
Comment by
2016 and 2018 Script Write Of The Year
judiverse
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  33
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  7
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  41
 

#7 Ranked Author

#1 Ranked Script Writer!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The way Bill speaks in this, it's sounds as if he's already been there. The children are rather precocious if they say "collect." Emily is quite advanced for one year old, and Bill seems a bit doddery to be the father. This sounds like fantasy. The robot is quite a surprise. Excellent description of the setting. Best of luck in the contest. judi


 Comment Written 19-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
    Emily is almost five and this has all been exaggerated, unless you believe that nine month old Kimberly speaks in full sarcastic sentences. The robot is, of course, for not real.
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