Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Non-Fiction Writing Contest
Deadline: Today!

5 Line Poem
Deadline: In 2 Days

Rhyming Poetry Contest
Deadline: Mar 10th

Flash Fiction
Deadline: Mar 12th

Write A Script
Deadline: Mar 15th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Tangled Lives


Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Ready, Set, Go!"

Movie Script

  6 total reviews 
Comment by
2020 Novelist of the Year
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  27
 

#3 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
That was two so different couples, and I can see how this will end at the dinner party. I feel sorry for Colette, with a husband like his slimeball she hasn't a chance. Now, Lola, she is secure in her husbands love, and that will come across well, especially when Phil arrives half cut! Excellent part, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx


 Comment Written 05-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2020
    Hi Sandra...sorry it took so long for me to comment back to you. Not feeling the best of late and still trying to write ...An old lady working at a snail's pace. LOL Thanks for reading and enjoying. Smiles and hugs!
Comment by
JudyE
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  140
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Your script is interesting and the characters reveal their personalities and the state of their relationships through their actions.

Just a couple of comments: in the following -


Phil chuckles to himself, remembering.


PHIL:

Are you jealous or something?
Maybe Collette needs to pull a face or say something before Phil's 'are you jealous..'. Otherwise, we're left guessing why he would say that.

And one spag:
The very last 'Phil' entry is in blue when it should be black.

I enjoyed reading this, thanks.


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
    Thank you for taking the time to read my script and for adding the suggestions for correction. I appreciate your time and effort. I hope you continue to follow the script. Thanks again. Have a great day!
Comment by
papa55mike
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  183
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  33
Review Stars
  Rank:  118
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I love the way you formatted this story. It reads like a script, but better. I can understnad it! Best of luck with the rest of your book!

Have a great day and God bless.
mike


 Comment Written 03-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
    I am so happy that you took the time to read my script and comment. I hope that you will continue to follow the twists and turns. Have a wonderful day!
Comment by
thaities, Rebecca V.
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  21
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  11
Review Stars
  Rank:  56
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Again, I moaned at the sudden end that came way too fast. Can hardly wait for the next post. So many characters with distinct personalities that promises riveting scenes.


 Comment Written 03-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
    Awesome...so happy you are enjoying the characters and that they are striking a chord with you. I truly appreciate your feedback and especially your enjoyment. Have a wonderful day!

reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 04-Mar-2020
    You're quite welcome.
Comment by
the13thpoet
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  437
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello again Begin Again, lol I hope your day is going well. Thank you for more scenes from your script. These scenes were well written and descriptive, I could visualize the scene in my head as I read. Good job and have a good day. I look forward to reading more.


 Comment Written 03-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
    Hello my friend. Happy to see that you are enjoying my efforts at writing a movie script. I too am enjoying your kind words and encouragement. See you in the next chapter! Have a wonderful day!
Comment by
BethShelby
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  50
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  35
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  9
Review Stars
  Rank:  15
 

#9 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a very well written script. I'm enjoying it. It is like watching a movie and I'd like to see it acted out. You are developing the characters nicely. I look forward to the next scene.


 Comment Written 03-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
    Good morning Beth. So happy to hear from you and to know you are enjoying the script. Being my first effort at scripts i never know if I am doing it properly or not. But enjoyment is what i strive for so thanks to you I know I met that goal. Have a great day!
  -1-   Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Football Chapter 12 part 1
A mother faces life's struggles.


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy