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Reviews from
Molecules - Part 1


A 4 part story of love, science, and the meaning of life

  18 total reviews 
Comment by
susand3022
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  Rank:  48
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  Rank:  49
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  Rank:  11
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It's really too bad she wasn't with me in the ICU with my mother on Saturday before last. You would have won your argument tidily. Wrapped up for you in a big red bow. She would have had no choice but to believe in miracles... and the afterlife to boot. ;)


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 16-Mar-2020
    Sounds like there's a story there - with a happy ending!
Comment by
Pam (respa)
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  Rank:  23
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  Rank:  25
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  Rank:  29
 
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-Good image and story, Mark.
-I am always glad to see you on FS.
-This is very well written, and I enjoyed it.
-I like the setting of the university
and these two characters.
-Carie is certainly a piece of work even
though she is intelligent and very condescending.
-I imagine being a female in a more
male dominated field has something to
do with it, as well as other issues.
-She does come up with some zingers,
especially in referring to the poster.
-The story flows well and is very interesting.
-I also like Dan's thoughts about how
he really doesn't like this girl!
-A very good ending with her view on what
lies beyond life, and her final zinger about the poster!
-I look forward to following the story.



 Comment Written 14-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 14-Mar-2020
    Thanks, Pam. Yeah, I'm trying to give the readers a glimpse of the more sympathetic side of Carie (which will be revealed in more detail later on) so that they stay engaged with the character.

reply by Pam (respa) on 14-Mar-2020
    You are welcome, Mark. I think you are doing a good job, and I look forward to the rest.
Comment by
George Anderson
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Very engaging story. As a chemical engineer myself I often love stories that involve the beta-side of things. Looking forward to the next chapters that are going to get better!


 Comment Written 14-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 14-Mar-2020
    Thanks for taking the time to read this one - glad you liked it and shared your comments
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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It's quite clear that Dan doesn't like Carie one tiny bit. I think it was the Einstein poster with the phony quote. Attributing phony quotes seem to be the in thing to do these days. Such as. "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change", attributed to Charles Darwin without disprovable evidence. Since Dan has already conceded the IQ test to Carie, I'd say he's well on his way to being the most adaptable to change.

Nice lead up into what is sure to be a miracle, the arguments are clear and Carie is going to be tough customer, but her weakness is, she thinks she has none. I think. lol

What a fun story this is going to be. Can't wait to see where you go with it.

Gloria


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 14-Mar-2020
    As Abraham Lincoln once said, "Opposites attract". Thanks so much for taking the time to read this one - much appreciated.
Comment by
Sally Law
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  Rank:  6
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  Rank:  9
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  Rank:  15
 

#6 Ranked Author

#9 Ranked Novelist
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I like the way you wrote this, Mark. I felt like a fly on the wall in observance. Being married to someone who is a bizillion times smarter than me, I can relate. Good thing he likes my neck. I look forward to your continuing stories. :)
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2020
    "Good thing he likes my neck" I wish I would have written that. Thanks so much for the review,
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
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  Rank:  15 (+1)
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  Rank:  13
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 Rank:  17
 
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Mark,

Oh, I love it! If it gets better, I'm not sure I can handle it, actually. haha This is just terrific. I love the characters, the descriptions, the mannerisms, and on and on. You've done a superb job setting this one up and it can go in soooo many different directions. Can't wait to see which one!

Notes, if I may:
1.) the gentle curve of her of her shoulder.
--> delete the redundancy

2.) "I seriously doubt that either one of those things will happen(.)"

That's it! Thanks - I look forward to more!




 Comment Written 13-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2020
    I literally read this chapter at least twenty times before posting and still I missed the "of her of her shoulder". I am an...let's see what's the word I'm looking for...the thing that Maggie always calls me...Oh yeah, an IDIOT! Thanks so much for the review!
Comment by
Gypsy Blue Rose
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  Rank:  13
 

#9 Ranked Poet
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Molecules - Part 1
by Mark Valentine

Hello, Mark,

Great story about James L Hightower Professor of Theoretical Astrophysics and his T.A.s Carie Carlson and Dan Polachek. I'm intrigued with the characters and their story. I was engaged to the end and wanting more. Well done, my friend.

Gypsy ???


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2020
    Thanks, Gypsy. I hope future chapters keep you engaged.

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 13-Mar-2020
    I am sure I will be engage in future chapters....I am your number one fan. :)
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
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  Rank:  7
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  Rank:  45
 

#7 Ranked Novelist
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Hi Mark. LOL I owe you one star on this. It deserve six of those twinklers for sure. I loved the way you carried this story with sprinkled subtle humor throughout. (Just as you always do, my friend.) Like:

"That elegantly curved shoulder sure seems to have a huge chip on it. Yeah, I definitely do not like this woman."

I will be anxious to see how you and Carie fare in the future . Great stuff Mark.

Go Cubs! :) Bob

ps. My new book is available for you if you want a signed copy. (Only 20 bucks LOL) I am working on my fourth novel in the Cleve series as I type this. Take care Bob


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2020
    Thanks, Bob.I got box seats to a Cubs-Brewers game for Maggie's birthday and now they've cancelled the game. Guess we'll have to find something else to do ...

reply by Mastery on 14-Mar-2020
    Awww. Damn it pal. Bob
Comment by
Shirley McLain
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  Rank:  69
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  Rank:  117
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  Rank:  36
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  Rank:  132
 
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I get the feeling this Carie character is going to give Dan a run for his money. They seem to have clashing personalities. You did a great job with this story. I did not see a thing out of place. Shirley


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2020
    Thanks, Shirley. It has been fund to write.
Comment by
Pantygynt
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  Rank:  94
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  Rank:  21
 

#4 Ranked Novelist
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If it gets better in future chapters I really cannot wait because I thought this one was pretty good.

As a writer I think you enjoy living dangerously with the characters you create. The desirable woman that you cannot desire. Wow talk about complex. And yet she is so believable, I kept muttering 'Maureen' -- a girl I knew in college who was an ardent woman's libber (this was back in 1972 mind. She would fly into a temper if you held a door open for her.


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2020
    Jim. My male characters tend to be idealized versions of me - they actually get the girls I used to fantasize about.
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