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Reviews from
Molecules - Part 3


Ash Wednesday

  18 total reviews 
Comment by
closetpoetjester
Metronomaniacal
Tendancies
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  119
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  371
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well told yet again and I admire your style of writing which is engaging, funny and believable. It captures your slight awkwardness and her absolute unattainableness haha
With that said, I like the friendship that is slowly developing between Carly and Rudy and the fact he has now made her cry means he is well over half way to sealing the deal. The emotional bond is there and the walls are coming down. As demonstrated through the masterful wordsmithery and playful plot, even those with the toughest exteriors can often turn out to be complete softies.
Enjoyable read once again.
I would sixer you on this but I have more posts to catch up on which I feel sure will garner a six or two.
P
PS Re your notes.
Trust me, you do NOT want a child named Phillippa but I will still read all four chapters haha


 Comment Written 02-Apr-2020



reply by the author on 04-Apr-2020
    Thanks again for reading this. I'm thinking if we had a daughter named Philippa, we could call her "Pippa" for short, right? Pippa Valentine - that sounds like she could be a child actress.

reply by closetpoetjester on 04-Apr-2020
    OMG She DOES sound famous LOL
    I think it's the surname though...you got pretty lucky there!
Comment by
Elizabeth Emerald
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  170
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  2
Script Rating
  Rank:  5
Review Stars
  Rank:  6
 

#2 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
As with the other--I read them backwards order just because that's how they popped--wonderfully witty. Love the zingers re the middle finger, Catholic Kool-Aid. Re smarter than they vs them--actually both are correct. They with the implicit "are" and Them on the grounds of object after prep than. Google is great at addressing these quandaries. Cheers. LIZ


 Comment Written 19-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 19-Mar-2020
    Thanks Liz. I'm aware that some folks allow than as a preposition, but I really liked the idea of Dan one-upping Carie at that point, so I pushed that aside.
Comment by
Alcreator Litt Dear
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  11
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
May be you are about to prove your righteous thought to adopt and support Einstein in your own art of expression in maturing this fictional work to a novel stand of your own; well said, well done, your craft in expression is appreciable as I like; thanks for sharing this work deserves for a 6-star rating but I don't have any; pray to God for a Coronavirus free world and help us fight for a Covid-19 free living; be a proud God sent sponsor, gift any $ amount make my ATB posts immortal, help my $210 MD Premier Shield Upgrade.


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2020
    Thank you kindly for taking the time to read this rather long post - much appreciated.
Comment by
Katherine M. Kean
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  144
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  22
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  48
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  54
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This one, in my humble opinion, has gone back to being as good as the first one - rich in opinions, feelings and events, all occuring in a very short time-frame. The only thing that kept me puzzled was how did Carie find out what Dan said about her at the Christmas party. Surely no-one dared repeat it to her?


 Comment Written 17-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2020
    Thanks Katherine. Part of the reason I had Dan shout across the room to Dr. J. (I originally the smaller group of TAs standing next to Dr. J.) was that so Dan would have to shout across the room - it seemed funnier, but it also meant that everyone would here, which makes it more likely that it would get back to Carie.

reply by Katherine M. Kean on 18-Mar-2020
    of course. How dense I can be!
Comment by
Bill Pinder
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  39
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  79
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  28
Review Stars
  Rank:  80
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I really enjoyed reading this humorous chapter with the playful dialogue between the characters. I even learned something new about moral desert theory. I like that reference to the movie "Rudy." I like that movie.

I like this line about human behavior not being as predictable. However, I have found that someone's individual behavior is very predictable once you spend some time to know them. In fact, sometimes it is so predictable that it is very irritating.
Bill


 Comment Written 17-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020
    Thanks Bill. It seems as though you were reading my latest post, I was reading your wonderful take on hope. Loved it.
Comment by
Pantygynt
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  94
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  4
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  21
 

#4 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I think your next child could possibly have at least as many names as Prince Charles. If you saw his wedding to Diana on TV (well I knew you weren't actually invited), you may recall how she had a job remembering all his names when agreeing to love honour and obey him, which she also managed to forget to do.

Yes. I'll be there for Episode 4 -- out of shear curiosity -- to see whether they end up together in the sack, getting their moral desert theories together.


 Comment Written 17-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020
    Thank you sir - I do remember that wedding. I believe it was televised at about 5 am Chicago time. I was 21 - some friends had a party - it was a god excuse to drink beer at 5 in the morning.
Comment by
pome lover
Premier Author
Katharine Folkes
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  125 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  51
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  103
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
hmmmm ~
Am wondering how you're going to end this. Hopefully she doesn't revert back to being snarky. Well, we shall see.
Good story. Maybe perfect hair, Jeff, will blunder. Maybe he's not as smart as you. aha!
Awaiting the end with baited breath.
pome


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020
    Thanks so much for sticking with this way-too-long story. Last chapter to be posted later today.
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  14
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  24
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Love the Einstein Christmas card. Ha, breakfast at the IHop, that is top of the line dining and no mistaking breakfast for dinner.

Laughed out loud about all the sins Rudy figured Carie should be confessing for.

Most cleverly written segment on jealousy. Of course he completely wasn't jealous and I can't imagine how anyone could think otherwise. Got the drunk beaufitul? too. So it appears Dr. J plays into this somehow that will be revealed in the ending.

I think a miracle is about to happen in part 4, so hopefully you don't keep us waiting too long.

Excellent story. :)

Gloria




 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020
    Thanks so much for sticking with this way-too-long story. Last chapter to be posted later today.
Comment by
George Anderson
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  390
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  168
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I am fascinated with this story and can't wait for the conclusion! Thanks for sharing this Mark! Adoption is always an option.... just saying. I'll give you my real name when I've read your 4th and final piece ;)


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020
    Thanks so much for sticking with this way-too-long story. Last chapter to be posted later today.
Comment by
susand3022
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  48
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  49
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
  Rank:  11
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi again! I'm really enjoying this story... though I'm not sure what more there is to tell unless, after 40 days, she reverts to her old abysmal self. Either that or she dumps 'Ken' and Dan gets 'Barbie' ;)


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020



reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020
    Thanks so much for sticking with this way-too-long story. Last chapter to be posted later today.
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