Hi there, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem. It makes some strong points that I can mostly agree with. I especially liked the very ending: when human will is weak. I agree, that is when bad things happen. All best. Ulla:)))
'When human will is weak.' That's a very powerful line. Actually, it can be interpreted in more than one way. If man is too willful, it can lead to turmoil. This is well written and thought provoking. Hugs, Lou
This is a most sophisticated poem with very good rhythm and very good rhyme. But, the question does arise, would we be human if we did not have weakness? If we were constantly steadfast with strengh, courage and righteousness, who would then we be? Best wishes.
My favorite part was, "And once possessed these young ones will be made
A matrix of malevolence 'till death;
Though even then no evil bows to fade,
Benignly, in the rattled rails of breath.", because I can relate, at least the old me before I had my first stroke in whiskey and meth and cried out to Jesus to save me and He did! I couldn't use my left hand for three weeks and lost a huge patch of hair on my head but He restored all of that to me and now I have 1 Year and 3 Months Clean and Sober By Yhe Grace of God! All Glory to God!
The Lord led me to these verses after I read this,
Luke 10:17-19 New International Version (NIV)
17 The seventy-two returned with joy and said, "Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name."
18 He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. 19 I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.
I always save my sixes for you! No way to auto-five this masterpiece. Startling imagery... alliteration... flawless rhythm and unforced rhyme. As usual with your work I'd have to paste the whole poem to cite my favorite passages. Cheers. LIZ
The saddest part of your brilliant work is the true statement that human will is weak. It is weak mainly because we cannot overcome the false belief that we know better than the one who created us. We are more powerful than our god and creator, the one who created and maintains all that we know and love. Without him we cease to exist. The enemy of all life, created and perpetuates this falsehood, and we in our weakness soak it up like it is our lifeblood. Believe me people, it is not.
Okay, I'm not sure you're remembering that little tiny brain of mine... Not fair. *smile* As I understand it, we are dancing and gliding amongst the mists and wisps of smoke in the graveyard. YIKES! (WHY are we doing this?)
I didn't get everything, but the parts I got were chilling and creepy - they actually reminded me a bit of Poe. Sorry if that offends.
Do not ignore prophetic words I speak;
For evil thrives when human will is weak.
A wonderful ending! And sooooo stinking true! Thanks!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
Hi Robyn. I wrote this in honor of the
French Poet, Charles Baudelaire who
actually translated all of Poe's writings
into French. He greatly admired Poe
so the fact my poem reminded you of
Poe is attributed to Baudelaire's similar
style and subject matter. Thank you so
much my friend. Stay safe. tom
Your skillfully-composed poem gives evil a dramatically powerful form and personailty. You have made excellent use of poetic sound devices. Evil will always thrive because people--especially the young--don't recognize it till
it HAS them!