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Reviews from
Clothing on a Crowded Train


A human predicament for the contest...

  10 total reviews 
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  44
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  11
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  30
Script Rating
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  11
 

#3 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This senryu, Clothing On the Crowded Train, has the right set up and finds the daily commute has its dramas going on when people are brought together and moving.


 Comment Written 29-Apr-2020



reply by the author on 29-Apr-2020
    Thank you!
Comment by
Gypsy Blue Rose
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  12
 

#9 Ranked Poet
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Hello my friend

A fine entry for the
Write A Senryu writing prompt contest. It's a great topic and I like the presentation. Good syllable count. Good luck!


 Comment Written 29-Apr-2020



reply by the author on 29-Apr-2020
    Thank you!!
Comment by
samandlancelot
Patricia
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  165
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  55
Review Stars
  Rank:  92
 
Excellent
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I get it. She's just trying to cool off, but it's heating him up in a way he cannot control.

Excellent entry for the senryu contest.

Patricia


 Comment Written 28-Apr-2020



reply by the author on 28-Apr-2020
    Thank you!
Comment by
Alcreator Litt Dear
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  8
 
Excellent
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Though it may appear awkward, funny, but this Senryu speaks the human condition or human predicament of today on a crowded train rightly; good luck for the contest.


 Comment Written 28-Apr-2020



reply by the author on 28-Apr-2020
    Thank you so much!
Comment by
Ogden
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  119
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  129
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Review Stars
  Rank:  61
 
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The sardine packing is quite a predicament, and clearly very uncomfortable. And did they forget all about the easy-to-do social distancing? All they have to do is move six feet apart!

Ogden (Don)


 Comment Written 28-Apr-2020



reply by the author on 28-Apr-2020
    lol! Thank you for your review!

reply by Ogden on 28-Apr-2020
    Don't mention it!
    :o)
    Don
Comment by
2019 Poet of the Year
Dolly'sPoems
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  2
 

#2 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Reviewer
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Ha ha ha, a subtle hint of sexual arousal here on a train and you captured a glimpse of life here on a busy train with much going on but concentration on one particular incident stuck in your mind, so much described in so few words, much enjoyed, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 28-Apr-2020



reply by the author on 28-Apr-2020
    Thank you for catching what some seem to have missed - glad to read your smile! Take care!
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  7
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  75
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Review Stars
  
 Rank:  4
 

#7 Ranked Poet

#4 Ranked Reviewer
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A very well-written Senryu about the heat on a train with a broken air vent can be frustrating and challenging not to do drastic measures to find some cooling air to survive the train trip.


 Comment Written 28-Apr-2020



reply by the author on 28-Apr-2020
    Thank you!
Comment by
January L'Angelle
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  27
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  29
Review Stars
  Rank:  10
 
Excellent
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I can just see it now... a bunch of sweaty people with their clothes sticking to them. A broken air conditioner! I love the image that you used, it's perfect for this poem. Well penned. Respectfully, January L.


 Comment Written 28-Apr-2020



reply by the author on 28-Apr-2020
    Thank you!
Comment by
Amy Greta
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  52
Review Stars
  Rank:  323
 
Excellent
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I love it! A true senryu with a surprise twist of an ending. I can just feel the clothes sticking to my skin. Now, about the man's pants growing ever tighter... a little room for the reader to infer and imagine:) You make the most of each perfectly chosen word. Excellent! Best of luck in the contest!


 Comment Written 28-Apr-2020



reply by the author on 28-Apr-2020
    Thank you so very much!!
Comment by
Frank Jauregui
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  136
Review Stars
  Rank:  134
 
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Very nice and very well written Senryu. There's nothing like a hot, tight, crowded place to make our clothing react in strange ways. They seem always to react by wanting to expose our nakedness or to strangle us somehow. LOL! The image you chose is perfect.


 Comment Written 28-Apr-2020



reply by the author on 28-Apr-2020
    Thank you!
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