That Wasn't What She Had In Mind
An unhappy toddler seeks a solution.
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Reviews from
The Piper


Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "The Piper, part 36"

Young Adult Fantasy

  14 total reviews 
Comment by
Writingfundimension
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi, Debi

Great visuals in this chapter. I loved this section and could see it in my mind's eye thanks to your descriptive writing ability: 'Lush trees and bushes surrounded the meadow. As he'd noticed since entering the faerie realm, some plants were in full bloom while others were loaded with mature fruit despite it being Spring...'

You continue to enchant me with this beautifully crafted tale.

Best regards,

Bev


 Comment Written 22-May-2020



reply by the author on 23-May-2020
    Hi Bev,
    It's so good to hear from you. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and found it enchanting. For a fantasy story, that is the best thing to hear.
    Thank you also for the beautiful six star rating.
    Debi

reply by Writingfundimension on 25-May-2020
    It's a brilliant story and a pleasure to read and review, Debi. :)
Comment by
Pam (respa)
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
-A good chapter, Debi, that
has very good imagery and a
chance for Rupert and Piper to be together.
-Piper's thoughts help show some
of his reactions to what he is seeing.
-Everything seems very pleasant,
and people don't seem to have
many concerns about things, either.
-The Summerstorm's cottage does
sound like a mansion.
-Rupert and Piper seem to be getting
to know one another all over again
after such a long separation.
-All is well as they discover they
both have the same silver-blue color
on their skin, but then Rupert realizes
Piper is telling the truth about his
heritage, and now we wonder how
this relationship will fare.
-So much for Piper to figure out!


 Comment Written 19-May-2020



reply by the author on 19-May-2020
    Hi Pam,
    Thank you for the insightful analysis and encouraging commentary. Yes, Piper does have a lot to figure out, doesn't he? Ah, life can be so complicated. LOL.
    Thank you for the beautiful six-star rating and your positive reinforcement. I appreciate it.
    Debi

reply by Pam (respa) on 19-May-2020
    You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Debi. Piper sure does have a lot to figure out. Life is complicated:)
Comment by
2012 Script Writer Of The Year
Spitfire
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#8 Ranked Author
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
You have created quite a world here. Where did your inspiration come from? Your descriptions are a delight. An artist could easily draw them. I hope you plan to do something big with this, like send it to a animated movie maker at Disney or another outfit.


 Comment Written 18-May-2020



reply by the author on 19-May-2020
    Hi Shari,
    Wow, I was thinking maybe I'd self-publish, but I've never considered anything as grand as you suggest.
    I like reading old fairy tales from the middle ages and some of the urban fantasy that is out now. I'm sure it all just gets muddled up in my mind somewhere.
    Thank you so much for the six-star rating and for the wonderful comments. You may just inspire me to reach higher.
    Debi
Comment by
richie b
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
W.J.
I am most impressed with your writing. This is
the first opportunity for me to meet you.
Everything about your story is awesome. Your
descriptions create vivid imagery and allow the reader
to enter into your story.
Your characters are lively and interesting, starting
a caring relationship with the reader.
I want to read more of your enchanting story.
You are 6 star writer!
Peace,
Richie b


 Comment Written 18-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    Hi Richie b,
    Wow, what a nice review. I am humbled by your response. Thank you for the encouraging comments. I am happy you enjoyed this chapter and felt it worthy of a six-star rating.
    Debi
Comment by
Benny Beeharry
 
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Excellent
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Hi it is amazing, you seem to know the details of the realms and collate them so beautifully, specially in the conversations between Piper and his friend. Elemental S ...how beautiful it sounds. I still wonder if you mean the fairies people not of this world.
I love stanza with mature fruits despite it being Spring.
It is a great write this time also.
Benny


 Comment Written 18-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    Hi Benny,
    I appreciate your encouraging comments and you pointing out what you liked. I am using the word elementals to encompass all the fairy folk in the realm right next to ours--fairies, elves, brownies, pixies, etc. I am glad you are enjoying the fantasy.
    Debi
Comment by
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royowen
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
So Rupert is astounded by the silver-blue skin that has manifested on Piper, and it's followed by an explanation that Redd-leaf Summerstorm Is Pioer's father and Melodica is his mother, then Rupert discovers Piper is serious, his trip here could be worthwhile, well done, Debi, blessings, Roy


 Comment Written 17-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    Hi Roy,
    Thanks for continuing to follow the story and for your encouraging comments.
    Debi

reply by royowen on 18-May-2020
    Bless you Debi
Comment by
Bichon
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Unfortunately, I haven't read previous parts of this story, so I'm sure I'm missing a lot, but I really liked this part! The characterisation was great and really captured my interest, I felt involved with them. The storyline was very interesting too!


 Comment Written 17-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    Hi Bichon,
    Thank you for the encouraging comments. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review.
    Debi
Comment by
Marjon van Bruggen
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Calle Romani, 14
 
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Excellent
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So Piper is an elemental, and Rupert has to come to terms with that. I think it came as quite a shock. Piper has invited Rupert to visit in the cottage, but will he come now? The story becomes more and more complicated...
Well written again.


 Comment Written 17-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    Hi Marjon van Bruggen,
    I appreciate your kind comments and analysis. I find them encouraging.
    Debi

reply by Marjon van Bruggen on 19-May-2020
    I liked it. You are welcome
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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#2 Ranked Author

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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
You did a marvelous job with this! So happy that you're back at this book! And I loved all the magical scenery that you showed us. I also enjoyed how you built up the suspense on how Piper was going to reveal his identity to Rupert. I almost began to think that Rupert was fae, too. Maybe it's not just the moonlight.

"Ruper turned and looked up." (Rupert? Did you spell it differently as a nickname?)
"Oh, that. Meldocia, that's Redd-Leif's wife" (Melodica?)


 Comment Written 17-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    Hi Helen,
    Thank you for the wonderful six-star rating and the encouraging comments about the writing. You brightened my day with both.
    Debi
Comment by
Margaret Bednar
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
The second paragraph of Chapter 26 - I love your description of it!

What a great way to show the magic of the land "some plants were in full bloom while others were loaded with mature fruit despite it being spring.

"moonbows." My daughter is a professional artist. She adores faries (may be one herself :) She will love reading this book if it is published.

Well, I'm hooked. I can't find any fault. I look forward to the next chapter



 Comment Written 17-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    Hi Margaret Bednar,
    Thank you so much for the kind comments and the shiny six-star rating. I appreciate you pointing out what you liked; it helps to know what works. I am excited that you look forward to another chapter.
    I do hope to publish it so maybe your daughter will read it.
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