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Reviews from
St Louis


Viewing comments for Chapter 66 "St. Louis Chapter 27 part 2"

Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?

  18 total reviews 
Comment by
Sally Law
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  Rank:  28
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  Rank:  6
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  Rank:  9
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  Rank:  15
 

#6 Ranked Author

#9 Ranked Novelist
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Yikes! Dear Mackenzie attacked at home. Now we see why Logan has been so cautious and overprotective. He sees things she doesn't apparently. I am sorry to be so late with this. A good continuing chapter, dear Barbara . I look forward to the next.
Sending you my best today as always
Sally xoxo


 Comment Written 21-May-2020



reply by the author on 22-May-2020
    Thank you for dropping by and review.
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
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  Rank:  15 (+1)
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  Rank:  13
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 Rank:  17
 
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Barbara,

I mean, when anyone in a story says, 'What could go wrong?' what COULD go wrong? Ummmm... anything...? EVERYTHING??!!!

So, hold up your hand if you're surprised, class. What? No hands. Shocker. BUT - the timing and direction of the surprise WAS good. Nice sneak.

Note-
--> As a hooded man came closer, she fought him. A second and third
--> As soon as the first hooded man reached her, Mac began fighting. A second and third
--> no matter how you say it, she can't fight him until he REACHES her.

Nice work!


 Comment Written 20-May-2020



reply by the author on 20-May-2020
    How come I never notice these things until you point them out. Once you do, my mind goes 'DUH, of course, dummy.' Thank you
Comment by
susand3022
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See? I knew it... I bet it was the cops! What could go wrong, indeed... At least Joanie is on the way over... or perhaps that's a bad thing... it is after 5, and must be close to 5:30 by now... perhaps Logan will be home soon... one can only hope!


 Comment Written 19-May-2020



reply by the author on 19-May-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
estory
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north carolina
 
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  Rank:  96
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  Rank:  114
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  Rank:  70
 
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This starts innocently enough, as mostly romantic interplay between Logan and Mackenzie and we see her anticipating his next kiss and inspired to cooking this romantic dinner for him, slowly revealing the seriousness of the relationship to her curious friend. Great dialogue as always, very realistic, and I think a good job of hinting at the undercurrents of emotions beneath the cerebral conversation on the surface. Then comes that jolt at the end; the appearance of these mysterious hooded figures out of nowhere, and that attack that leaves her crumpled up on the floor. The suspense is immense. Good job setting up for the next chapters. estory


 Comment Written 19-May-2020



reply by the author on 19-May-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
richie b
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  Rank:  198
 
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Barbara,
Your story easily held my interest. Your dialogue is
clean and flows easily. Your relationships between
characters is strong.
Your story moves well and has proper suspense.
A very well written chapter.
Peace,
Richie b


 Comment Written 18-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment by
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
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#1 Ranked Novelist!
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That's not sounding good! I hope her friend comes quickly. What a time to stay at home, they must have been watching and waiting until she was on her own, but where are the police? Did they do something to them as well? Well, so much for the home-cooked dinner, thank goodness she had the sense to turn the cooker off, there could have been a house fire as well! Well done, Barbara, another excellent chapter. :)) Sandra xx


 Comment Written 18-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
Shirley McLain
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  Rank:  69
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  Rank:  117
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  Rank:  36
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  Rank:  132
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Congratulations on another great chapter. Mac is certainly in hot water now. Too bad the lady that will help with the chicken didn't arrive early. I look forward to next week's installment. Have a great day. Shirley


 Comment Written 18-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
tfawcus
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An unexpected turn of events and bang goes that chicken dinner! I guess Logan's been warning her to be careful all along - now we know why. It's hard to believe they've only been together for fourteen days - it seems much longer. A gripping chapter.


 Comment Written 18-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    I know it seems longer, because it takes me so long to post. That's why I make note of the days. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
thaities, Rebecca V.
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#7 Ranked Author
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Another thrilling chapter and cliffhanger! Each chapter seems better than the last, and you have left openings for more action to come. Well done once again!


 Comment Written 17-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    Thank you for the encouragement.

reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 18-May-2020
    You're quite welcome.
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
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  Rank:  31
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 Rank:  50
 
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Hello Barb
I like how you kept my interest of how the dinner was prepared and smiles of how McKenzie keeps asking I believe its Joanie how to cook. And with the conversations going on when McKenzie notices a hooded man came closer, then the second and third man appeared and surrounded her. And the fourth man came from nowhere.
Changed to a new scene to where you describe how
McKenzie collapsed to the floor in a bloody and
unconscious heap. (Is really good)
Gert


 Comment Written 17-May-2020



reply by the author on 18-May-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.

reply by Gert sherwood on 18-May-2020
    You are welcome Barb
    Gert
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