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Reviews from
Coronary Snow


A short Camden Street visit.

  39 total reviews 
Comment by
dragonpoet
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  Rank:  95 (+3)
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  Rank:  75
 
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Lee,
Well written story of small town living, friendship, and brotherly love.
I like the use of cololoquilisms and the humorous simililies about what the three boys looked likeagter their walk to and from school in the now.
Congrats on winning the contest. I also giggled at the mention of the ACLU and the Emancipation Problamation.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan


 Comment Written 22-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
    Thank you, Joan. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. Peace, Lee

reply by dragonpoet on 28-Jun-2020
    You are most kiindly welcome, Lee.
    Have a great day.
    Joan
Comment by
sibhus
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Congrats, Lee on your win, this is so fantastic. Then again we grow up in the same era and I'm a little partial to these trips down memory lane. You know what, it snowed like the devil in Illinois, in the 60s, too. One minute we would be Trick-or-Treating in our T-shirts, and then over night we got a foot of snow, and it would snow till the end of March. This sounds like the year of 66, Mom bundled me up and shoved me out the door in a blizzard. I got to the end of the block, and Ole Mrs Johnson told me to get my ass home, they had actually closed the school. When I got home the old man looked at me and said, "What are you doing here?"
I figured I was gonna get my ass beat, so I quivered, "They closed school." So he handed me the snow shovel. Yep, these snowflakes have no idea how easy they got it.


 Comment Written 21-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
    Thanks for your glowing review, and the recollections, sibhus. Yeah, parents did have much respect for kids' rights back then. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Deborah Harlow French
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Great story! Well-written and engaging, with excellent dialogue. I also like your similes -- well-fitted to the context (e.g., "redder than candied apples," "taller than albino giraffes, "white as Irving Berlin's Christmas") and your subtle use of humor. Great ending too ... allows the reader to pause and reflect. Well done.


 Comment Written 21-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
    Thank you, Deborah Harlow French. I'm really glad you enjoyed, and liked my turns of phrase. Much appreciated.

    Peace, Lee
Comment by
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A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.


 Comment Written 21-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
    Thank you, Committee! Peace, Lee
Comment by
bhogg
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Lee--are very pleasant change of pace that I thoroughly enjoyed. Kept me smiling the whole way through. I think I entered this contest too, but not sure. Tells you something about my brain cells


 Comment Written 22-May-2020



reply by the author on 23-May-2020
    Thanks so much, Bill. Ah, some of these contests are difficult to keep track of. This story, for instance, could be entered into several different competitions. I appreciate all the stars, and I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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Love the idea of being too backwater to even have a climate. That's about right.

You bet it used to snow, a lot and heavy and I never heard of a snow day until I got too old to enjoy one.

I always enjoy your Camden Street stories and this is no exception.

Terrific write. :)

Gloria


 Comment Written 21-May-2020



reply by the author on 23-May-2020
    Thank you, Gloria. I seem to live on the demarcation line between rain and snow these days. Sleet and freezing rain are disappointing--can't build a fort out of sleet! Thanks for all the stars, and I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
giraffmang
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  Rank:  137
 
Exceptional
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Hi Lee,

See, in those days it actually snowed in Connecticut. I mean really snowed! - didn't it do this everywhere? I remember growing up in Belfast, Northern Ireland and our winters were always white. It hardly ever snows any more - it made a nice change from the grey the rest of the time. Summer was half an hour, usually on a Thursday in August.

it got so deep, small dogs and children were swallowed up, never to be seen again. At least that's what my father insisted. Of course, he could lay it on pretty deep, too.- this is nice. The commentary ties perfectly with the father's words.

There's some nice memories in here of times before everything went all pc. A nice change.

All the best
G


 Comment Written 21-May-2020



reply by the author on 23-May-2020
    You're right, G, the same thing is happening all over. But I seem to live right on the demarcation line between rain and snow. This makes the new normal all the more galling.

    Writing these stories keeps me in touch with little bits of my past that may otherwise slip away. Plus, I enjoying see the past through today's eyes.

    So glad you enjoyed. Thank you very much.

    Peace, Lee
Comment by
rama devi
May All Beings Be Happy
 
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 Rank:  151
 
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LOL: We were too backwater to even have a climate. But, oh how we jabbered on about the weather.



As usual, great diction that enhances characterization significantly. Excellent story-style, pacing, POV, narrative detail and setting.


This is so 'young-boy-like':

"Yeah," I agreed, "but by then, the wolves'll have eaten his liver and the snow owls'll've snacked on his eyeballs and tongue, an' gizzard."


SPAG:

Little Danny didn't flinch,(NO COMMA) but spoke straight ahead. "


In contest, this is funny: Who says a public education is free?


Good descriptive:

climbed through drifts as tall as albino giraffes.

Poor Danny: Twice, he walked right out of his rubber galoshes.

Good descriptive:

By the time we reached the top of Camden Street, the three of us were as white as Irving Berlin's Christmas, wet as a duck's underpants, and as wiped out as Fenimore Cooper's Mohicans.


LOL:
I obeyed. What else could I do? I'd never heard of the American Civil Liberties Union.

LOL:

The snow was the sticky, incredibly heavy variety. Coronary snow, I've heard it called since.


I wondered about the title all the way to the end, where you enlightened me!

Warmly,
rd



 Comment Written 21-May-2020



reply by the author on 23-May-2020
    Thanks so much, rd. I know your schedule is pretty hectic, so a doubly appreciate your reviews of these longer pieces. I'm glad they bring you a little pleasure, too.

    Peace, Lee

reply by rama devi on 23-May-2020
    Thanks, Lee. Not so hectic these days. I need more work!

    Peace and smiles,
    rd

reply by the author on 23-May-2020
    Ah, I don't need more work . . . I need more money. L

reply by rama devi on 23-May-2020
    I need both! :)
Comment by
robyn corum
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Lee,

I adore these stories. I would devour a whole book of Ricky stories. What don't you have one yet?? Do you and Ricky still stay in touch, btw?

Of course, this was well-written. It was delightful. Only one thing - what is all that white stuff you was writing about?

--> My (d)ad says the storm won't even get wound up (till) 6:30-7:00 o'clock in the morning."
--> did you know that ('til) isn't really a word? Yeah, yeah, I know 'til looks better. *smile*

Thanks so much!





 Comment Written 20-May-2020



reply by the author on 20-May-2020
    Thank you, Robin. No, I haven't seen or heard from Ricky Satalino in decades. Unfortunately, his brother Danny died young.
    I do have enough of these stories for a book, but I think they'd wear thin--one right after another.
    'Til is a corruption of until. Gonna and kinda ain't real words, either. I put 'til in the same category.

    Others insist 'My Dad . . .' is correct. Who am I to believe?

    Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Bichon
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This was a very sweet story. I really felt like I was taken back in time and witnessed the snow first hand. I can't imagine I've ever seen snow that heavy before, but I wouldn't be walking in it!


 Comment Written 20-May-2020



reply by the author on 23-May-2020
    Thanks so much, Bichon. I have seen it snow like that lately, either.
    I feel I'm missing something. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
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