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Reviews from
Omnipotent Love Sets Us Free


Salvation is a cry away

  22 total reviews 
Comment by
GE Parson
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Once again my Brother, I am greatly impressed with your spiritual application of a personal experience.
"Always go with God and His written Word and you can never go wrong." GEP


 Comment Written 31-May-2020



reply by the author on 01-Jun-2020
    Thank you my dear brother in Christ! All praise to Him who heard our cries and lifted us from the miry clay!
Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
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#3 Ranked Poet
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I enjoyed your story. Your lines read well with a good topic. Your details create great imagery. I could see this as I read. Thankfully, the cement truck driver stopped to help. Yes, He directs, controls, and sees all. Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan


 Comment Written 24-May-2020



reply by the author on 25-May-2020
    Thank you for your kind words and God bless you!
Comment by
flylikeaneagle
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flylikeaneagle - Nancy Ann Gee
 
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  Rank:  296
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Den: love your story and connection to Jesus getting us out of the mud
when we are in trouble. Great short sermon for us all. I'll have to share
this with my daughters, Monica and Annie. We can depend on Jesus during
this covid19 and stay on Psalm 91 praying ground. God bless.
flylikeaneagle - nancy **********************************


 Comment Written 24-May-2020



reply by the author on 25-May-2020
    Hi Nancy, thank you for your kind words and I pray God continually pours out His grace on you and your family! YBIC, Dennis
Comment by
Margaret Bednar
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The metaphor is a solid one and it does a good job illustrating your point. Looking at this with my "critique" glasses on, I would suggest taking a look at the beginnings of your sentences. How many begin with "I" or pronouns in general, "The" and "it"? Can you mix it up so you have stronger beginning words?

And here is an opportunity to use a stronger descriptive word ... "He looked at our guy for a minute, and then said, "It don't matter." ... I'm referring to "looked". Did he raise his brow, did the left corner of his mouth curl, did he take them all in with a level, non-blinking gaze? These may be poor examples but look for ways in which to infuse character into each of the men.

I'm also a bit confused with the structure of the "paragraphs" - why are all sentences divided up like this and not in proper paragraphs?

I'm looking at your first three sentences... (if you don't mind I played around with them)...

West Barntable mud is Bay mud, silty clay that only fools would ignore. Despite being seasoned "Cape Codders", our truck's tires spun helplessly, splattering we three fools with our "just" reward. The furniture delivery had been succesful, but we ignored the signs and were helplessly stuck. (maybe this ties into the overall theme of being observant of the Lord somehow?...)

This is just an example of setting "place". Play up the characteristics of Cape Cod (such a fascinating place!)

I'm no expert and I may be wrong. But I have latley been intrigued with setting "place" and not telling but trying to "draw" a picture in the readers mind of not just characters but setting as well. Again, I love the metaphor - great job on that.


 Comment Written 23-May-2020



reply by the author on 24-May-2020
    Thanks for trying to help...I sometimes abandon paragraphs
    altogether in a short message and I use a larger font...I think both help older people. I chose clarity over form every time.
Comment by
tfawcus
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#4 Ranked Author
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The ability to take an incident from life and tell it in a way to capture one's audience is a gift. To then turn it into a lesson for life is the skill of a preacher.


 Comment Written 23-May-2020



reply by the author on 24-May-2020
    Thank you, friend!
Comment by
richie b
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Deniz22,
Your story of faith and trust hopefully reminds
the reader of times when they were stuck in life and called
upon the name of Jesus.
Your story is rooted in truth. We need to overcome
our fear and ego to call and trust in Him.
Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. Maybe
an angel was driving the cement truck!
Peace,
Richie b


 Comment Written 23-May-2020



reply by the author on 24-May-2020
    Thanks Richie for your encouraging words, much appreciated.
    YBIC, Dennis
Comment by
ExperiencingLiphe
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I loved how you took a troubled circumstance and looked on the bright side. It can be hard to do that sometimes and this is a good reminder that we can all do it, and sometimes we have to ask for help, and that's okay.


 Comment Written 23-May-2020



reply by the author on 24-May-2020
    Thank you!
Comment by
2020 Novelist of the Year
sandramitchell
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Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
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  Rank:  2
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 Rank:  21
 

#2 Ranked Novelist
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I loved your story and your poem, both are a delight. That cement driver was there, just as Jesus is, and he pulled you out easily. That is all it takes, ask, and you will receive more than you thought. Well done! :)) Sandra xxx


 Comment Written 23-May-2020



reply by the author on 24-May-2020
    Thank you!
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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barbara.wilkey Recommends:
Football Chapter 10 part 2
Katherine asks Angie about Gabriel.
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 

#6 Ranked Novelist
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AMEN!!!!!!!!! Jesus knows our circumstances. All we need to do is pray and He will be there to help. Thank you for sharing.

We all three clambered out and were standing beside the truck looking the situation over. (you can omit 'all three' it's redunit and understood.)


 Comment Written 23-May-2020



reply by the author on 24-May-2020
    Thank you!
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
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A very well-written inspiring and uplifting little story. It doesn't matter how deep we are stuck in the mud, our savior is there to get us out, we just need to call His name in prayer to help us out.


 Comment Written 23-May-2020



reply by the author on 24-May-2020
    Amen!
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