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Rhyming Poem
Deadline: Tomorrow!

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Deadline: In 3 Days

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75 Words Flash Fiction
Deadline: Dec 8th


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Reviews from
Back from the Past


It's not just us who cannot leave well enough alone...

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
AJ McCall
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  248
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  75
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  35
Review Stars
  Rank:  187
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wait so the human was the beast in this story? His eight eyes... it sounds like a spider lol. It was interesting. I liked the way you described the police cars arriving to the scene.


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
    Yeah, we are the monters in this one. It was much more clear-ct in my head. Didn't quite get it where I wanted it, but a second next to my older sister isn't a bad loss. :)
    Thanks for the review,
    Blessings,
    Deb
Comment by
Precious Owuamalam
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  273
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  194
Review Stars
  Rank:  248
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A beautiful story dear Deb! What a suspense! Oh, how I feel for those officers, I could feel the fear in their voices. As always, you have written well.

You may want to look at these: "but now ... He'd seen it with his own eyes." the "H" in "He'd" should be lower case.

In: their tires shrieking against wet pavement. an "a", "the" before "wet" or "pavements" replacing "pavement" will be better replacements.

In: Why?"Who was first officer on the scene?" You may want to add a backspace after the first question mark. Again, a "the" before "first" would really help the reader for emphasis purposes.

In: "a sergeant at the boss,'" "boss's" would be a better replacement for "boss."

My best wishes in the contest.


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
    I'll head over and fix those. ThANK you. My sister beat me out in this, but her story was SOOOO much better I can't even be upset. (Well, maybe a little upset. lol)
    Thanks for all,
    Belssings,
    Deb
Comment by
2019 Novelist of the Year
Ulla
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  106
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  150
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  40
 

#3 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Debora, I enjoyed this story which had the tongue firmly placed in the cheek. I can so understand that you enjoyed writing this. It's a very good entry and a good one. All best. Ulla:)))


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2020
    Thank you, Ulla! It was fun ? kind of an nod to the old, cheesy sci-fi movies of the 50s and 60s. :) Thought I might have a winner ? right up 'til I read my sister's post. Crazy how we still are competitive with each other! lol. Ah, well ? It was fun and that's what's important.
    Blessings,
    Deb
Comment by
Liz O'Neill
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  188
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  29
Review Stars
  Rank:  82
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This kind of tongue-in-cheek comedy would be lengthened into a good, low-budget show. We could almost see what the characters would look like with your vivid descriptions. I thoroughly enjoyed your wordplay. I could go on but this is enough for now. I am voting for this one.


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2020
    OMGosh, I was thinking 'B-movie' the WHOLE time I was writing this! lol. I do appreciate your review and encouragement. It was fun to conceptualize and write. :)
    Be blessed,
    Deb
Comment by
Patty Palmer
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  76
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  44
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  22
Review Stars
  Rank:  50
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well, I have to admit that your story kept my interest from the first word until the last! Your words are very descriptive making the scenes come to life allowing me to "watch" the story. Good luck with the contest!
Patty


 Comment Written 11-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 11-Jun-2020
    Thanks, Patty! Appreciat your review.
    Blessings,
    Deb
Comment by
thaities, Rebecca V.
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  86
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  26
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a perfect entry for The Thing contest. It strikes fear into the hearts of any breathing human. It is death personified. Great entry. Good luck!


 Comment Written 11-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 11-Jun-2020
    Thanks, Rebecca! Appreciate your review.
    Blessings,
    Deb

reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 11-Jun-2020
    You're very welcome.
Comment by
Iza Deleanu
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  168
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  19
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  13
Script Rating
  Rank:  8
Review Stars
  Rank:  85
 

#8 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Very subtle and horrifying this story about the thing. Very well written and in the parameters of the contest.Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.


 Comment Written 11-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 11-Jun-2020
    You, Too, Iza!
    Thanks! Appreciate your review.
    Blessings,
    Deb
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  3
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  2
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  12
Script Rating
  Rank:  6
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  2
 

#2 Ranked Author

#3 Ranked Poet

#6 Ranked Script Writer

#2 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I thought your names were very unusual - but I read your notes and now I appreciate them more. I think you did a great job with the prompt and hope you do well in the contest! You might want to read this in regular review mode and check out the white highlighting in several places.

"An officer nereby screamed in terror." (nearby)


 Comment Written 10-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 10-Jun-2020
    Thank you! You caught an error that no one saw. I appreciate your sharp eye and kind words. :)
    blessings and hugs,
    Deb
Comment by
sherrygreywolf
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
SWEET! Love this nifty little horror tale with the unexpected twist at the end. I did see one thing that I think you need to correct right quick - when you said "the best stood, roaring its fury." Didn't you mean to say "beast"? Other than that, it looks very good! Super job and good luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 10-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 10-Jun-2020
    Augh! Thanks, sis!
    Deb
Comment by
richie b
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Debora,
Your story combines your creative skills and
cleverness to make this a very good story.
You led the reader down a path of growing
suspense and anticipation. Using the prehistorical
monster as a metaphor for the virus is brilliant.
Your sharp dialogue carries your story and adds
spice to your plot. Thank you for sharing.
Peace,
Richie b


 Comment Written 10-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 10-Jun-2020
    IRchie B, thank you for reading! I appreciate your comments. :)
    Blessings,
    Deb
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