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Reviews from
From An Oldtimer


My time is running out

  65 total reviews 
Comment by
Wabigoon
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  Rank:  169
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Jaybird--
I like this. Only thing I have a problem with is this line:
"The flowers sweetness lose their smell," which maybe needs an apostrophe? as in flowers'?
I think I agree with you as a fellow getting up in years himself. I am glad you clarified "corona," as I was about to ask you about it. Isn't it interesting, at least, that Floyd's complaint was "I can't breathe!" and that that's how corona kills -- suffocation.

Best
Wabigoon/Jeff


 Comment Written 17-Jun-2020


Comment by
Cedar
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Bill
 
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Hello Jay,

Your words are so true and I am very worried also about what will become of our world with all the frightening things going on at the same time.

Your words in this poem express exactly how many of us feel also. God help us all...Take care, my friend...Bill


 Comment Written 17-Jun-2020


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sibhus
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What a wonderful poem. Your words are so true and rhyme so perfectly painting a picture that we all can see. Hopefully we all see the other side of this pandemic. Again a wonderful poem.


 Comment Written 17-Jun-2020


Comment by
Kermit R. Mullins
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Success is a goal in life though it comes with sacrifice. I've been there. We "older" folks may not have all the answers to the question, but we have experiences that have led to the answers to most questions. Love your work. Best wishes.


 Comment Written 17-Jun-2020


Comment by
RPSaxena
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Hello Jaybird1,
Nice piece of Poetry having smooth flow with lovely rhyming scheme, and beautifully depicting 'how fast the life is running out'.
The last stanza is particularly noteworthy,


 Comment Written 17-Jun-2020


Comment by
dragonpoet
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Yes, sometimes we worry about the wrong things and that makes us unhappy. All this things happening now to to. It seems the virus is bringing on death of all kinds. Both physical and psychological.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan


 Comment Written 17-Jun-2020


Comment by
Margaret Bednar
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My father told us stories of his Grandpa Haas - he lived with them back in the day until he died. I think that was in the 1930's. My dad would tell us how he smacked his food during dinner, took out his teeth and left them on the side tables, played cards with them, shared jokes, all sorts of good and odd things. It was a time when the elderly were not banished from view, and perhaps they didn't live as long as they might in a nursing care home with nurses and regular attendance of doctors... but surely a much happier life. This is what I think of when I read your poem - how much both the old and the youth are missing out on. I sometimes think "progress" isn't progress.


 Comment Written 17-Jun-2020


Comment by
godlucifer
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i think as the years goes on life become much harder. we live and we learn much things as the years goes on. i will always respect the elderly because they have much wisdom to share. your poem was truly structure and sounded. thanks for the read. "your so vein" means mood or humor.

your so vein
godlucifer


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020


Comment by
Susan X Smith
MS, MBA
Retired from Gov't
 
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This poem reminds me of something that could work on a greeting card. The message is wholesome and the rhyme scheme works well. The words are never trite.


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020


Comment by
Boogienights
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I know how you feel. My husband and I are in the risk age group for corona, and it breaks my heart to see the roots going on. You have written a wonderful poem about us, I'm so glad you did. Thank you.


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020


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