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Deadline: Jan 30th

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Reviews from
Playing My Violin...Final Song


Ekphrastic

  9 total reviews 
Comment by
RGstar
Level 1 Pro
Premier Author
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  157
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I am giving this a six , though late. I thought it did not start too strongly, but the second half of the poem came in tuned and vibrant as to its asking.
Lovely top read.
One thing...the last line;

''A blissful song which will be sublime''

That line should be the strongest, as your conclusion...''which will be sublime''
''A blissful song that fares sublime''

That might give it a stronger ending, and a little more poetic, fitting for the excellence that came before.
My best wishes.
Well done.
RG


 Comment Written 03-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 12-Jul-2020
    Hello Roy,

    I am sorry for the delay in my response. The charger on my laptop went out, I had to order a new one and it finally arrived.

    Thanks so much for your review, six star rating and suggestions. Your very kind comments were very uplifting and appreciated.
    I pray you are doing well and keeping safe.
    Blessings...Portia
Comment by
Patty Palmer
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  Rank:  62
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  Rank:  29
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Review Stars
  Rank:  113
 
Excellent
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I like this poem too! Soothed by playing your violin, one final song, Sometimes love doesn't go the way we planned and we're left barefoot in the sand. Barefoot and playing one last tune.
Love and Hugs!!
Patty


 Comment Written 02-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
    Hello Dear Patty,

    I am glad you enjoyed this poem, I say the photo and thought I would pen whatever came to mind. Thanks so much for your review and kindness.

    Love Ya!!!
    Many Hugs...Portia
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  7 (+2)
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  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  7
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Review Stars
  
 Rank:  2
 

#4 Ranked Author

#7 Ranked Novelist

#7 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A beautiful poem which laments a false love. And praise God for giving us music that we can express our souls when words can come close toe expressing the pain. But your poem tells it well.


 Comment Written 02-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
    Helen,

    Thanks so much for your review and support.

    Hugs...Portia
Comment by
Teri7
Premier Author
Teresa Shortess
 
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  Rank:  49
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  Rank:  16
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 Rank:  41
 
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Portia, This is a very beautiful and well written story in a poem you have penned for the 20 Line poem contest. You used great descriptive words full of romance and sadness. Best wishes in the contest. lovely art work. love and blessings, Teri


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
    Teri,

    Thank you for you review, I saw the picture and this is how this poem came about.

    Hugs...Portia
Comment by
richie b
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Portia,
Your poem is wrapped in heartfelt deceit.
Your words are cast in gloom and darkness.
The violin's strings tell a message of finality,
the reader may sense a feeling of release.
Your picture is very inspiring. Best wishes in
contest. Blessings in Christ.
Your brother,
Richie


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
    Hello My Brother,

    Thanks so much for your review, many times I will find a picture and allow my mind to take over and a poem is created. I appreciate your kindness and support. I pray you and your family are doing well.

    Blessings my friend...Portia
Comment by
January L'Angelle
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Hello my dear friend Portia, this is a beautifully written love poem. I enjoyed the writing and the way you captured a broken heart. I love the last stanza and how it perfectly matches the picture that you chose to use. The violin is such a romantic instrument so I can see why you used it. This evokes so much heartache that it is almost palpable. Great 20 line poem my friend! God bless you! Sending much love... -January L. :)


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 12-Jul-2020
    Hello my friend,

    I pray you are doing well and keeping safe. I have a lot of catching up to do.

    I apologize for the delay in my response. Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments. I was a little out of my comfort zone, the picture inspired the poem. Thanks so much for your support.

    Hugs...Portia
Comment by
Cindy Decker
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  47
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Review Stars
  Rank:  87
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Portia,
Nice, vivid graphics of a violin player.
Your eloquent use of words, makes me empathetic to the hurt and bitterness of the narrator of this poem.
I like the play on words, using "strings," as you are using a violin to describe your feelings.
Excellent work, Portia. Good luck in the contest.
I hope you are doing well.
Keep writing,
Cindy


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
    Cindy,

    Thank you for your review, very kind comments and best wishes they are greatly appreciated.

    I am doing well, the grandkids are with me for the week. They are keeping me very busy. I am way behind in my message box.

    I hope you are doing well and I pray your father is feeling a lot better. Take care of yourself and Ruby.

    Hugs💖
    Portia
Comment by
Iza Deleanu
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  97
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  21
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  8
Script Rating
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  8
 

#8 Ranked Novelist

#3 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
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What a jerk :"
He called our love an awful mistake
I seek solace from a harsh heartbreak-
I'll play my violin one last time,
a blissful song which will be sublime" Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
    Iza,

    Thank you kindly for your review and comments, they are greatly appreciated.

    Blessings...Portia
Comment by
Phillip Smeal
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Amelie Autumn is my favourite violinist. She writes songs about lost love and found hate, and this strikes a chord with your work. Everybody breaks up, but only Adele and Taylor Swift seem to get paid really well for writing about it. The reason is because they have broken away from the victim role and they are letting everyone know how much the ex is going to miss them. So it seems like the violinist is either going to take a one way swim or chuck the violin in the lake, and I'd rather the ex was in a bit of danger.


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
    Uhmmm, I am not familiar with Amelie Autumn's as a known violinist, but I am glad she is your favorite. You should probably check out violinist Janine Jansen, she plays with a romantic tone like no other. But still my work is not about our favorite violinist.
    I thank you kindly for your review and looking forward in reviewing your work when you post and will be more than gracious to give you feedback in how to improve, because this is what we do on FanStory.

    Blessings...Pharp

reply by Phillip Smeal on 03-Jul-2020
    Your desire to review my work may only be exceeded by my capacity for opening another account.(that's a joke, I have a bunch of people waiting for me to post. Not exactly fans, perhaps, but a ready audience...) Plus everything I said in my other response. Thanks for not seeming too angry.
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