King Wise
An eight line acrostic, humour poem; pl read Author Notes
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Reviews from
The Dwelling Place


Free Verse Contest Entry

  11 total reviews 
Comment by
equestrik
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  82 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  71
Review Stars
  Rank:  18
 
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I can see why this won the free verse contest. The setting certainly is desolate and would take great consideration and create a lot of apprehension if moving in! I appreciate the definition as well.


 Comment Written 12-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
    Dear Eq, This poem was really about the woman who threw herself into the sea because her life was like the poem said. But I could not find a picture anywhere on the internet or even in art work showing a person doing that, so I could only show the place where it happened.

reply by equestrik on 12-Sep-2020
    WOW! That is so trgic. :( she must have felt such desolation and despair. is there more to the stoy? Why was she having to be there? Under what circumstances?
Comment by
dragonpoet
Premier Author
 
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  Rank:  201
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  Rank:  69
 
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This doesn't look to me a comfortable house. It has no chimney so is there a way to cook. It seems to be strong though to stay standing so long.
You used the word facing twice. Maybe the first time can be replaced by the word withstood. You also duplicated 'I seen'.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy,
dragonpoet


 Comment Written 10-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 10-Jul-2020
    Dear Dragon, because this place is a prison, I doubt that anyone considered the comfort of hot food.
    As for the poem, you have made some very interesting suggestions, I will look to see the places you were talking about when I finish writing responses to to my other reviews.

reply by dragonpoet on 11-Jul-2020
    You didn't mention it was a prison in the poem. It could have been a hermit's house.
    I am glad to help in any way.
    dp

reply by the author on 11-Jul-2020
    To say it, would have been incorrect actually. It was a place for political opponents of those in power.
Comment by
Elizabeth Emerald
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  Rank:  1
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  Rank:  5
 

#1 Ranked Author!

#5 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
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Congrats on your prize--I don't know about you but I'm not surprised after reading this. Powerful imagery--waves splintering on jagged rocks earns your stars in itself. Cheers. LIZ


 Comment Written 09-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 09-Jul-2020
    Dear Liz, Thanks for the congrats, will make my happy for the whole day, and keep me trying for a first prize some day.

reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 09-Jul-2020
    You're way ahead of me--never got so much as mention!
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
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  Rank:  34 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  18
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  Rank:  17
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  Rank:  7
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  21
 

#7 Ranked Script Writer
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This free verse, The Dwelling Place, paints a painful picture of the stoic building, weathering the seemingly endless assaults from nature. We'll just call it home. Nicely built.

Found this: Never had I seen (I seen) so bleak...


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 28-Jun-2020
    Dear Bill, I am glad you got around to taking a look at my ?Dwelling place? and found it still standing. I don't think that either the building OR the man incarcerated there, would be much affected by a 2 or 3-day delay of your looking at their fate.
Comment by
Margaret Bednar
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Never had I seen I seen so bleak (do you need to delete one "I seen?"

This poem reminds me of all the 20 years worth of the show "Time Team" out of Britain I have watched - an archeology series that unearths all sorts of sites - This house doesn't look like it si close to the crashing waves, but I understand what the poem is trying to convey. Beautiful writing.


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020
    Dear Margaret, Thank you for your understanding what this poem was trying to convey.
    You are correct, the photo was not next to the sea, but it is a very good example of the stone structure I wanted the readers to see.
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
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  Rank:  2
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  8 (+2)
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 Rank:  2
 

#2 Ranked Author

#8 Ranked Novelist

#5 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Reviewer
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Hi Suzanna,
Loved your wonderful description of this house in this free verse poem.
By the way there are at least two online dictionaries with the word lintel:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lintel
and dictionary.com

"Worn by many a tred " (tread? as in step?)
"I was to be it's next inhabitant." (its) possessive


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020
    Dear Helen, Thank you for checking my spelling and grammar! I hope the rest of this rather grim post will pass muster with the CEC
Comment by
2018 Novelist of the Year.
2017 Short Works and 2017 Script Writer of the Year.
Thomas Bowling
Premier Author
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
So, you're moving into my childhood home. It's not so bad if you don't mind rats and spiders. Some of them won't bite. Good luck in the contest. I hope you win and split the money with me.


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020
    Dear Thomas, Thank You for adding a bit of humor to this review.
    This post IS rather grim isn't it.
Comment by
Joan E.
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The picture you selected captures something beyond bleakness. Were you really the next inhabitant with its lintels and stark, stacked stones. (I did not realize the name for the beam was an obscure word--just shows how old I am.) Best wishes in the Free Verse Contest- Joan


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020
    Dear Joan, do not be alarmed. It was not me, but the narrator of the poem who was to be incarcerated in that place. That is what was done to political opponents at various times in history. The Russians were not the inventors of the gulag.

reply by Joan E. on 26-Jun-2020
    Thanks for the clarification and the political history. Well done- Joan
Comment by
Janice Canerdy
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  Rank:  32
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  Rank:  19
 
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Suzanna, this is such a vividly descriptive piece, treating the house almost like a person who has weathered all. Note: (1) Reread the line beginning "Never" (2) Apostrophe not needed.


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020
    Dear Jan, I looked, but I saw no apostrophe there. ( in the line starting with never ) You may need to redirect me.
    Thank you for dropping by to review.

reply by Janice Canerdy on 26-Jun-2020
    Sorry about that. I really didn't make it clear. (1) line starting with "never" says "I seen" twice. (2) LAST line has an unneeded apostrophe. :-)
Comment by
BethShelby
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  56 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  34
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  10
Review Stars
  Rank:  15
 

#10 Ranked Novelist
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My online dictionary had no problem with the word but the definition was a horizontal beam supporting an opening in stone building or other structure. Your poem sounds as though you are referring the whole building. This picture shows a very depressing structure. I be shattered as well if I knew I'd have to live there.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020



reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020
    Dear Beth, Thank you for noticing that ?having to live there?was what the poem was all about !
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