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Reviews from
Donut Intervention


A lemon-filled cry for help.

  43 total reviews 
Comment by
Melissa Russell Deur
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  119
Author Rating For Short Works
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is hysterical! I wondered what someone would write for the "Give me twenty" prompt. This is so original. You've got a lot of zingers throughout. I especially liked "I married a snorin' jar of cold cream and a hairnet." I'd love to read the sequel!


 Comment Written 26-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 02-Aug-2020
    Thanks so much, Melissa. 'Give me twenty' was pretty open-ended, so I just sort of riffed. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee

reply by Melissa Russell Deur on 02-Aug-2020
    You?re welcome!
Comment by
Boogienights
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  24
 

#9 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is an amazing story. What an imagination! I happen to love donuts and I'm sure they cure anything...it took a wise donut man to understand this. I personally like plain donuts..what does that say about me? Congratulations on winning the contest.


 Comment Written 25-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 26-Jul-2020
    Thank you, Boogienights. I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  3
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Review Stars
  
 Rank:  7
 

#3 Ranked Poet
Excellent
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Lee,

REALLY??!!! And you WON with this? Come ON.

DUDE.

Okay. You hade a great set up. Super duper characters. I bought in. Hunert percent. And you create a perfect cliff-hanger so I'll turn the page. Clever, clever! But then - what? No second page? No ending?

I don't know if he comes BACK? I don't know if he's SUCCESSFUL in his amorous intentions? I don't know if he buys MORE DONUTS?

I am not happy, Lee. I give this a five for structure and content. I give this a five for characterization. I give this a five for originality. But I give it a whopping NEGATIVE 78 for the ENDING. Once again, I have no idea what those big thinkers in the ivory tower are looking at. UGH.

Now - your assignment is to PM me, personally, with the finish of this piece. Even if it's one line. I must know what happens. And HURRY UP!

Otherwise, thanks! I enjoyed the trip!


 Comment Written 24-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 25-Jul-2020
    Sorry, Robyn, but some stories end in mysteries. Whatever happened to Jimmy Hoffa? D.B. Cooper? Still, I can offer you a hint: The donut buyer's name was Billy Joe McCallister. I hope this helps.

    Thanks, Robyn. There's nothing I admire more than an inquiring mind.

    Peace, Lee

reply by robyn corum on 25-Jul-2020
    Aha! Now, I feel better! If I remember right, Billy 'the Kid' Joe McCallister headed out West and caused a bunch of trouble, didn't he? 'Course, I don't think he livedlong there neither, but that's a whole different story. Cool!

reply by the author on 25-Jul-2020
    Not quite, Robyn. Think Ode to Billy Joe.

    '. . . the day that Billy Joe McCallister jumped off the Talahatchie bridge.'

reply by robyn corum on 25-Jul-2020
    Come on, Lee. Even I'm not that dense...

reply by robyn corum on 25-Jul-2020
    Okay. I probably am. But not this time.

reply by the author on 25-Jul-2020
    Sorry, sarcasm sometimes flies over my head. I'm gullible.
Comment by
Alaskastory
Premier Author
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  175
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
"Donut Intervention" deserved to win the contest. You did a marvelous job on this subject. Of course, I was very amused along the way and thankful to the promising ending. Very well done.


 Comment Written 23-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
    Thanks so much, Alaskastory. So glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
dragonpoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  131
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  69
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Lee,
It seems your donut man is a psychaiatrist too. He seems to have talked this guy out of suicide for now. It is a stupid reason for jumping off a bridge. Maybe making phone calls to these women might answer the why.
Congrats on winning the contest.
Keep writng and stay healthy
Joan


 Comment Written 23-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
    Thank you, Joan. Peace, Lee

reply by dragonpoet on 24-Jul-2020
    You're welcome, Lee.
    Joan
Comment by
amada
Premier Author
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  41
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Congrtultions in winning this contest. I read it to help me how to write better...but I got so enthralled with the story that I couldn't care less about the proper word selection and the characters description...This is a delightful story...Congratulations.


 Comment Written 21-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 26-Jul-2020
    Thank you, amada. I hope this story was helpful to you. Peace, Lee
Comment by
MissMerri
Merri, Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  8 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  123
 

#8 Ranked Poet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Dear Lee... this is a truly amazing accomplishment. I can't imagine writing such a gripping story with no description whatsoever, only two people talking casually in a donut shop. I'm truly impressed with your storytelling skill, but then, it is after all, legendary. The story was so clever, and in spite of the grim topic, had great humor and also great humanness. I loved everything about it. I felt as if I were just sitting on one of the stools, eavesdropping. You did a super job and I'm not surprised to see your story placed first. Congratulations.


 Comment Written 21-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 26-Jul-2020
    Thanks so much, MissMerri. I appreciate the glowing review, and all the kind words. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Mark Valentine
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  383
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
As original as they come. I dare say that in the history of literature, no one has ever written a story about a donut shop that serves as a weigh station on the road to suicide. The attitude of the donut man makes the piece.

Seems to me, there's also a bit of a serious moral to it. So much of our self esteem is based on how we think we fit in, how we compare to others.

I can see why this won - congratulations.


 Comment Written 21-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 26-Jul-2020
    Thanks so much, Mark. For all I know, donut shop philosophers abound. It's always fun to dabble in dark comedy. I'm really glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Contests
 
 

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.


 Comment Written 21-Jul-2020


Comment by
Carlos' girl
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  145 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  60
Review Stars
  Rank:  128
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
OMG hilarious, impeccable and delightful as a donut: strawberry frosted w sprinkles for my swan dive. How can I write a 150 word review on perfection? You take the cake, err, donut. Who knew depression could be so sweet?


 Comment Written 19-Jul-2020


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