Survivor
The bravest person in the world 		Pays: One point.
37 member cents
Contact Us | En español
   
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

5-7-5 Poetry Contest
Deadline: Today!

Free Verse Poetry Contest
Deadline: Tomorrow!

Horror Writing Contest
Deadline: In 3 Days

Four Line Poem
Deadline: In 5 Days

20 Line Poem
Deadline: Jan 27th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None

Recommended


Categories


Write


Reviews from
Flash Non-Fiction

Country girl in the big city

  19 total reviews 
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  82
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello Susan Larson,
your Flash No script about the country girl in a big city, was very intriguing was under the mystery dolls coat. And what caused the screams.
Gert





 Comment Written 04-Aug-2020


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2020
    Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment by
Ric Myworld
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  84
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well, I guess everyone needs to learn about the facts of life sometime. LOL. It's always nice to start the morning off with a good laugh. Thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 31-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
    Thank you. I'm glad she wasn't with me when I walked past a nude man masturbating in a broken out window in an abandoned warehouse. However, the only "flasher" I ever encounter was in that little shop.

reply by Ric Myworld on 01-Aug-2020
    Maybe the flashed should snap a picture of the flasher's crotch buddy and hand it to them. That way, they get to see all that ugly up close and personal. It might make them rethink their perversion. :-)
Comment by
January L'Angelle
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Susan, this is hilarious! it shows really well as a script. It is truly funny. I think that the dialogue is brilliant. Just one teeny tiny formatting note: The description lines at the beginning, with the characters names and then the colon get mixed in with the actual script. It is confusing at first. You should probably remove the colon's after their names (Maybe put a dash) Then we'd know where the story begins.
I absolutely loved this script. It tickled my funny bone.

I wrote a review for your book and also posted a photo of me holding the book... just for fun! Thank you for my book's wonderful review. You are awesome! -January L. :)


 Comment Written 30-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
    Thank you. I guess I could have included that one in my book, but when you have to pick 75 out of 1200, it gets tough

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
    Thank you so much for that review on Amazon. It means a lot to me. Yes, I'll look at that script again. I think it's about to be bumped off anyway. I'm thankful for Fanstory friends who coach me on details like that.
Comment by
UpNorth
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  420
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  219
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Fun-and the farm girl is still looking and checking them out! Then again if she is a farm girl she has seen a thing or two that the city girl probably hasn't out in the farmyard.


 Comment Written 29-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2020
    Thank you. Yes, I guess as a farm girl, she'd seen a lot, but not under the cover of a raincoat! Abd, yes, again, I'm sure there's a whole lot I haven't seen and not sure I care!
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  23 (+3)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  14
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 
 Rank:  5
 

#5 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A very well-written humorous script the poor farm girl was very shocked when she majes a grusome discovery in the giftshop if creepy man dolls that come in different sizes.


 Comment Written 29-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
    Thank you! I couldn't make this up!
Comment by
elchupakabra
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The part with your characters I would change the font/size/color or at the very least bold or italicize it because it looks just like the dialogue and I started reading it as such at first. Otherwise I thought it was a great piece. Thank you for sharing, later daze.


 Comment Written 29-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
    THank you for your review and your suggestions. I need all the help I can get on scripts.
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  20
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  21
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
LOL!! Yeah, curiosity isn't just a cat thing, I guess... wink, wink! :) This is definitely a much-needed smile for the day, Lady Susan -- thank you so much for sharing! :) :) Yvette


 Comment Written 29-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
    Thank you. Yes, that part kinda cracked me up!
Comment by
Miss Cookie Atkinson
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  85
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  80
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Oh my goodness
When I saw the artwork you choose I knew what this poem -story would be off the chart
I believe this happen, many sick people take avenger of a young girl in the city for the first time. I tell you she was lucky that the doll was all that shook her up.
Cookie


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
    Thank you. Yes, even I was treated to a nude man masturbating in a window of an abandoned building. A coworker also saw him. We both were called in for a line up to ID him. We both agreed NONE of the men fit the description, but we still had to pick the one that we thought was the closest. Life in the big city! But I loved it!

reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
    I was so engrossed with your reply, I didn't notice that sixth star! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

reply by Miss Cookie Atkinson on 29-Jul-2020
    Your very welcome
    Stay safe
    cookie
Comment by
Robert Zimmerman
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  46
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hey Susan.
That's funny.
Sometimes you expect certain things from people that are naïve or predictable. When something happens and you confirm your suspicions, then the laughs begin.

Robert ð???


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2020
    Thank you. This was in Atlanta in 1976. With the internet, even farm girls are more savvy today.
Comment by
2020 Short Work Writer of the Year
LisaMay
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  17
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  3
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  28
 

#3 Ranked Author
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
i love the humour in this - when innocence is shocked but then becomes curiosity. Was that a scream of disgust or delight?? Flashing it makes for an entertaining Flash non-fiction story.


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020


reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
    Thank you. She was not amused. She was shocked! That was in 1976. Probably wouldn?t happen today.

reply by LisaMay on 28-Jul-2020
    no, not today. Girls seem to know all about anatomical matters and sex at a very early age these days.
  -1-  2  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Football Chapter 10 part 1
A mother faces life's struggles.


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy