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Reviews from
Flash Non-Fiction

Country girl in the big city

  19 total reviews 
Comment by
2020 Poet of the Year
royowen
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  Rank:  16
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 Rank:  1
 

#1 Ranked Reviewer!
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What an amazing post, and I like that you've left it to the imagination as to what Carolyn actually saw. A very clever post, usually these occurrences would be fictional, but then again, truth can be stranger than fiction, brilliant job, blessings Roy


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
    Thank you. Yes, it really happened. Funny that what she said she saw was true ( I didn?t check)

reply by royowen on 28-Jul-2020
    Well done
Comment by
Monica Chaddick
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  Rank:  55
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This is hilarious! I absolutely loved the ending. How funny - 'they come in different sizes'. Priceless! Thank you for sharing and best of luck to you with your writing.


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
    Thank you. That happened in 1976 and I still laugh about it!
Comment by
BethShelby
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  Rank:  38 (+1)
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  Rank:  10
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  Rank:  15
 

#10 Ranked Novelist
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I got a good laugh out of this one. It seems it turned out to the most fascinating thing in the store. I'm assuming you are the Susan in the story?


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
    Thank you.That?s me.this is truly flash non fiction!

reply by BethShelby on 28-Jul-2020
    Country girls are all that naive. LOL
Comment by
Marjon van Bruggen
Premier Author
Calle Romani, 14
 
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Oh, Susan, this is really funny! Hahahaha! Yes, and it is true. "They" come in different sizes. Carolyn is or very ignorant, or less innocent than you thought. When she said that, did she look horrified, or did she laugh?

Great little story!


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
    Thank you. She was horrified. I should have added this was in 1976. More innocent times. No internet. Cleaner, or at least more subtle humor on tv and in movies. Ten years before that, I might have been horrified.

reply by Marjon van Bruggen on 29-Jul-2020
    Welcome! And your answer is clarifying. Poor girl!
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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  Rank:  5
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  Rank:  2
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  Rank:  11
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 Rank:  2
 

#2 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Reviewer
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Glad you are trying out the script area! I guess this is not really a "soft sculpture" shop after all? I was afraid that it might not really be a "doll."

Per the part where Susan is thinking, if it's a video, one can have her thoughts be heard or she could say her thoughts aloud to keep it more a script.

Just FYI, you could make the Cast of Character formatting a little different from the rest of the script. Check out other scripts to see how they format the character names. Typically I put the names in bold and above the speech.


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
    Thank you for both your review and your suggestions. Will follow up on that. Yes, I agree, what the raincoat was concealing may not have been intended to be a "soft" sculpture.
Comment by
RodG
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  Rank:  88
 
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I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall in that shop when Carolyn made her discovery(s). The old city mouse/country mouse theme never gets old. I think I would prefer the story as straight prose just to get a sense of how the two women are different. Still, you made me chuckle. Rod


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
    Thank you. And thank you for your input. I've told this story dozens of times and thought it might make a cute skit.
Comment by
aanneee
 
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Thanks so much for the stupid look on my old face and the giggles...I think. Certainly held my attention for sure. Wish you loads of luck and more for your contest...Dinah


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
    Thank you. I, as well, probably had a stupid look on y face at the time!
Comment by
papa55mike
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  Rank:  24
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  Rank:  125
 
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Well, that's one way to get educated in the facts of life. What a wonderfully written little story. Best of luck with your writing!

Have a great day and God bless.
mike

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 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
    Thank you. I guess she got some sex education on the farm, but nothing like that!
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  48
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  Rank:  22
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  Rank:  22
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  Rank:  4
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  Rank:  16
 

#4 Ranked Script Writer
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This story, Flash Nonfiction, turns out to be pretty funny for sure. It would b3 so fun telling that true story at a party or maybe a at Carolyn's bridal shower or wedding.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2020
    Yes, that would be a hoot! Thank you for giving me a laught in return.
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