Take Your Burdens to Jesus
This is a 5-7-5 poetry writing
Pays: One point.
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Reviews from
Total Awareness


All five senses present and correct

  2 total reviews 
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  21
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  7
 

#9 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Poet
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A beautiful offering for the contest! ;) I would only suggest, perhaps, the use of another adjective other than "A" as the limited format of the Tanka pushes us to use every 'bit' of it to paint that vision and "A" is almost a wasted syllable... try "Faint" or even "Soft"...? Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)


 Comment Written 31-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
    Thank you for your encouraging review and meaningful advice. I have replaced the ?A? with your suggestion.

reply by Y. M. Roger on 31-Jul-2020
    You are most welcome! :) :) Yvette
Comment by
Carlos' girl
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  114 (+5)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  201 (+1)
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Nice tanka poem, very simple and elegant. It has depicted a nice array of the objects of our five senses as we go on an early morning walk. Pretty image also.


 Comment Written 31-Jul-2020



reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
    Your positive review is much appreciated. Thank you.
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