A beautiful offering for the contest! ;) I would only suggest, perhaps, the use of another adjective other than "A" as the limited format of the Tanka pushes us to use every 'bit' of it to paint that vision and "A" is almost a wasted syllable... try "Faint" or even "Soft"...? Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
Comment Written 31-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2020
Thank you for your encouraging review and meaningful advice. I have replaced the ?A? with your suggestion.