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31 total reviews
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Comment by | Premier Author | | | | Poet Rating     Rank: 80 | Author Rating For Short Works      | Review Stars       Rank: 62 | | |
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Comment by | Premier Author | | Premier Reader | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | Author Rating For Novels      | Review Stars      Rank: 397 | | |
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Comment by | Premier Author | | | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | Review Stars Rank: 224 | | |
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Comment by | Premier Author | | Premier Reader | | Poet Rating     Rank: 31 (+7) | Author Rating For Short Works      | Author Rating For Novels      | Script Rating      | Review Stars   Rank: 56 | | |
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Hi Lee,
What a position to be in, adrift in a rubber dingy in the Pacific Ocean. I'd be scared stiff, waiting for that first shark fin to show up.
I love all the names Lenny calls his "flamin' freakin' bananas" shipmate. He's so pissed off, I think it's his way of punching Ike in the nose...
Don Ho/ Cap'n Crunch, Gilligan/ Aquaman/ Magellan/ Mr. Crusoe/ Popeye/ Sinbad ... and all the while, Ike's optimism rocks against Lenny's pessimism, like the raft rocking against those Pacific waves.
I noticed these lines, Lee.
"What, you think we're gonna come to a Howard Johnson's? Lenny, the only place we're goin' is up the creek." ... isn't it Lenny who is saying this? I'm thinking it should be: "Ike, the only place we're goin' is up the creek."
"What ship would that be? The Good Ship Lollipop?" ... So many sarcastic quips by overwhelmed Lenny, but I giggled when I read this one. The song immediately started playing in my head.
These similes too,
"...like a grape on the floor of the produce aisle."
"Like the eagle-eyes on the Titanic saw that itty-bitty iceberg."
You set up the perfect scene for "Dialogue Only", Lee. Terrific entry for the contest! Good Luck! I won't be at all surprised if you win. I really enjoyed the story.
Cheers,
Kimbob
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Comment Written 06-Aug-2020 |
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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2020
Thanks for the glowing review, Kimbob. You're right, I did mix up my character names--thanks for the heads up. I've had Good Ship Lollipop running through my head ever since I wrote that sentence. Help!
Thank you again. Most appreciated. Peace, Lee
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Comment by | Premier Author | | | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works     Rank: 1 | Script Rating      | Review Stars   Rank: 4 | | |
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Comment by | | | | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | Author Rating For Novels      | Review Stars     Rank: 48 | | |
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Comment by | Premier Author | | | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | | |
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Comment by | Premier Author | | Premier Reader | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | Author Rating For Novels      | Review Stars   Rank: 240 | | |
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Comment by | Premier Author | | Premier Reader | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | Author Rating For Novels      | Script Rating      | Review Stars   Rank: 66 | | |
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Comment by | Premier Author | | | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | Review Stars  Rank: 24 | | |
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