Hard-Boiled Times
layiing it straight
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Reviews from
Missing My Wife


almost a contest entry

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
trimple
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Good afternoon, Mark

I don't know if you were having a five knuckle shuffle or were 'actually' thinking of killing your wife.

I know of many couples who feel like killing their beloveds whilst dealing this 'Corona virus'. It's certainly opened up a few new dynamics to most relationships :)

My daughter has a game of hopscotch, gaffer-tapped to the kitchen floor. Snakes painted down the staircase for a good old game of snakes and ladders to help exercise the kids when she's about to kill em both, and the large T.V screen has never before had so many post-it stickered do-do's angrily plastered along its rim for fear of them being ignored on the 'official' to-do list area slapped on the wall by the back door. :)

A fun write which you decided not to post as you didn't feel it adhered to 'the rules' of a prompt. Shame...

Great fun to read, Mark

kind regards

tracey


 Comment Written 29-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 29-Sep-2020
    Thanks Tracey. I love my wife dearly - she appears as a character in a lot of things I write - occasionally, she winds up dead - funny how that happens.

reply by trimple on 29-Sep-2020
    love the satire :)
Comment by
amada
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An almost contest entry, but nevertheless very romantic and nostalgic at the same time. Your lines are fresh, straight from the heart, when a little of irony at yourself in between. Great to read.


 Comment Written 27-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 27-Aug-2020
    Thanks Amada. This, like many of my posts, is me just havin' fun.
Comment by
closetpoetjester
Metronomaniacal
Tendancies
 
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Hahaha yes you had clearly misinterpreted the premise of the contest but I think your idea is much more interesting to explore in poetic form
Dare I say some banging rhyme in your attempt to permanently extricate yourself from marital responsibilities and off the missus in a cloud of cordite.
A pacy write that leaves the reader breathless and then collapsing with laughter.
Loved the rhythm and engagement this piece provided.
Bravo Mark! A thoroughly deserving sixer for you.
Cheers P


 Comment Written 22-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 23-Aug-2020
    Thanks for the very generous rating. I was going for the cheap laugh here, so it?s an especially nice surprise to see someone, especially as talented as you, felt it six-worthy.
Comment by
Irish Rain
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I shouldn't laugh....but...
Loved this!!
If only your wife had been more
accommodating and NOT moved!
This is wonderfully too
cruel in such an endearing way.
Loved it!!!
Blessings...


 Comment Written 15-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
    Thanks so much for the review and the six. I think the ability to entertain homicidal fantasies is one of the keys to a long marriage (but maybe that's just me).

reply by Irish Rain on 17-Aug-2020
    Ha ha....absolutely, we all still live because we've died a thousand deaths. Happily ever after.
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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LOL, well this could be the lyrics of a country song for sure. Terrific humour and I know with the last name Valentine there is no way this thought ever even passed your mind in truth, but it's a perfect entry for the contest.

Much enjoyed this, Mark. :)

Gloria


 Comment Written 15-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
    Thanks - I couldn't help but have a little fun with the contest prompt (even though I didn't actually submit it).
Comment by
jenintorre
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Nice one Mark. I love the humour. You should have entered it in the competition but they probably would have thought that you'd misinterpreted the rules although you hadn't. Take care. Jen.


 Comment Written 14-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
    Thanks Jen. I thought about submitting it, but there's always one (sometimes more) that doesn't have a sense of humor about these things.
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Raffaelina Lowcock
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Well Mark, you aimed and missed. At first sight we think "missed" you know like 'where is she, I need her' but then when we peruse the well chosen words here, we know. You were aiming to kill her and missed. That's a good interpretation puzzle you've presented. Well done.

Ralf


 Comment Written 14-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
    Thanks Ralf - I am of the opinion that the occasional homicidal fantasy can be good for a marriage.

reply by Raffaelina Lowcock on 17-Aug-2020
    In your mind, you mean. Right!
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
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A very well-written humorous poem. The kind of missing you have about your wife is unfortunately against the law and should not even be thinking about. I hope your wife is safe from you for the moment.


 Comment Written 14-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
    Thanks Sandra. There is a much greater chance that my wife will kill me than the other way around.
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Pantygynt
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Yes, you were definitely wide of the mark there. Only you could have interpreted it that way, a born sniper. Not a bad poet either when it comes that.


 Comment Written 13-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
    Thanks Jim. I blame my lack of military training.

reply by Pantygynt on 17-Aug-2020
    You probably forgot to aim off for wind. Better luck next time!
Comment by
Gypsy Blue Rose
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Missing My Wife
by Mark Valentine

Hello, Mark,

It's good to hear from you again.

By the title, I thought you were missing your wife because she was absent. LMAO... you meant something completely different but much more fun. Thank you very much for the humor...I needed that. Take care.

Hugs,

Gypsy


 Comment Written 13-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
    Thanks Gypsy - as is the case with most things I write, the sole purpose of this was to give people a laugh or two - glad it hit the mark.
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