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Reviews from
Talk of a New Deal


Dream on!

  20 total reviews 
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  25
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  8
 

#9 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Beautifully penned, my lady -- I just don't think most of it resonates at all with those convinced otherwise: humans just simply were not meant to be 'kept pets' as some would like to see happen. No matter how wonderful the sound of that 'utopia', it would in reality be anything but... :( Thanx for sharing!! ;) Yvette
P.S. Only about 4 days behind now - yay! :) I think I can, I think I can...be caught up.. ;) Until, of course, something unexpected happens (I just don't see that ever happening...do you? LOL!!) ;) ;) ;)


 Comment Written 19-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
    I've been where you are and it is daunting. But little by little you'll get through it.
    Thank you for your fine review, as always in sync. As far as something unexpected, it'd in the cards.

    Ralf

reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
    Yvette, I'm not up on texting. I have used this :) but I'm not sure what it means. Something good, I know, but could you tell me exactly what it means?

    Ralf

reply by Y. M. Roger on 19-Aug-2020
    What are you talking about 'texting'... ???

reply by the author on 19-Aug-2020
    I thought that derived from texting.
    If you don't know what I'm asking, forget it.
Comment by
Gypsy Blue Rose
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  13
 

#9 Ranked Poet
Average
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Talk of a New Deal
by Raffaelina Lowcock

Hello, Raffaelina,

Your poem without the notes is not clear. The composition is poor and the rhythm is off. I think the piece should be rewritten. I disagree with your topic. In Los Angeles, California, a two bedroom apartment is 2500 dollars, food for one is at least 400 a month, electric and water bill is 300 a month. 15 an hour doesn't even cover the rent. You either live in the boondocks or make a lot of money.

Trump is a dangerous man currupted, bigot, racist, ignorant, etc... He is kneecapping the US postal service to win the election.... This is who you are voting for? God is love and kindness for ALL people and he is for taking care of the poor and making sure people have enough to live. BTW... Democrats are against cows? LMAO.... you have been listening to a sociopath lier and one day you will feel like a fool for standing on the wrong side in American history.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    I don't know what you read but it wasn't my poem.
Comment by
estory
Premier Author
north carolina
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  97
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  114
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Review Stars
  Rank:  67
 
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Thinking about the Democratic platform gives me more than pause. It makes me sure I'll vote solid Republican in the election. It was in a bit of a tongue in cheek kind of style, but we get your gist here. estory


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    Thank you for your solid review. Me too.LOL Ra;f
Comment by
elchupakabra
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  300 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  57
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  38
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
There is a good idea behind this piece but I find the piece to be clunky, many of the lines are choppy, the piece needs to be reworked. At first I thought you were against universal income, than re-reading it I thought you were for it and now I can no longer tell. Good effort, thanks for sharing. Later daze.


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    Its very clearly about the Green New Deal. Strange, the #1 Poet on this site gives it six stars.

reply by elchupakabra on 18-Aug-2020
    To me it was not very clear and I felt the rhythm was not as smooth as it could be. I think the piece could be re-worked in it's entirety, so I suppose I'll have to disagree with #1. That doesn't mean it is bad. It just means I see more potential within it if you continue to mold it. Later daze.

reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    Good to see someone with definite views. You probably could improve it. All things are possible. I wonder what you'll think of my next posting which is called "God is Green"

reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
Comment by
Jacob David Collins
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  196
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  19
Review Stars
  Rank:  83
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I really hope that the world will be like this one day, somehow though, I can't see that being likely, but we can always hope. A well written piece, I enjoyed reading it.


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    Thank you for your review. Glad you enjoyed reading.
Comment by
Markie Doczi
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  196 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  133 (+1)
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I tend to shy away from political writing (just a personal preference); but I like how you've written this. The reader doesn't start out knowing your opinion, and has a chance to consider the question. It seems like you're trying to understand why maybe some people think it's a good idea; but then you argue the negative and let your opinion be known.
The phrase comes to mind: "the road to hell is paved with good intentions."


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    Yes, I agree, politics should be low profile here. But, comes a time when enough is enough. Thank you for your review.
Comment by
Robert Zimmerman
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  41
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  8
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Review Stars
  Rank:  47
 

#8 Ranked Author
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Ralf.

You touched on nearly everything in this poem. You question some of the silly ideas people have put forth. I agree with your premise and I certainly agree with your notes. We don't need college when everything is free. What we will need is trees that grow money.

Nice job.

Robert



 Comment Written 17-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
    Thanks Robert. I knew you'd understand this to the nth degree.
    Such BS they spout.
    Ralf

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 17-Aug-2020
    Hi Ralf.

    Your words ring true.

    Robert
Comment by
lancellot
Level 1 Pro
The goal in life is to be better today
than you were yesterday.
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  99
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  19
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  39
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  36
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Yes, it all sounds crazy, what is even crazier is that we are hearing this strange utopia from crowds in the streets, teachers in the schools, students in the universities, actors in Hollywood, and politicians in Congress. My God, it's everywhere.

Good work.


 Comment Written 17-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
    Thanks for your review. I don't think some people are capable of recognizing BS when they hear it.

    Ralf
Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  3
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  17
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  9
 

#3 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well, it is the me, me, me generation, and a holdover from those in the past who don't want to work, Ralf. Your poem is well-presented--I like the color scheme, the image, the great rhymes, and the clear message. You give readers much to think about. In the end, though, it all comes down to God. It is His plan that governs all the 'things' you mentioned.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan


 Comment Written 17-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
    Thanks Jan. Glad you see it for what it is.
Comment by
royowen
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  1
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 
 Rank:  1
 

#1 Ranked Poet!

#1 Ranked Reviewer!
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Well done Raif, when people resist God, their argument is always, one can't see, hear, taste, feel Him, but He comes to us, we can't go to him, But logic or rational thought is the chasm that divides us. Beautifully written Rolf, a great effort, thoughtfully and wonderfully applied in aabb rhyming quatrains, blessings Roy


 Comment Written 17-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
    That's an uplifting review. Thank you Roy. Wow, six stars. I'm glad we are on the same page.

    Ralf

reply by royowen on 17-Aug-2020
    Bless you Raif
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