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Reviews from
on wings of eagles


Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "momma bear encounter"

My NaNoWriMo expanded. Adventures of Maxi McGee

  13 total reviews 
Comment by
equestrik
 
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Your writing seems natural and has a good flow to it, sometimes I do get a bit stuck with all of the conversations but I love the setting and think the ranch sounds really neat-good people.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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 Comment Written 22-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
    equestrik: I'll shorten the next posts. Thanks for stopping by.nancy
Comment by
GE Parson
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Hi Nancy Ann Gee,
Very interesting story. I 'specially like the way you slipped in words of praise to the Lord.

I live in Topeka, Ks, and am a retired Baptist Pastor. My
first Pastorate was in a little town called Winifred. While I was there, I met another Pastor by the name of Harold Gee,and I'm wondering if you are related to him.
Blessings, Jerry Howarth


 Comment Written 20-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
    Hi Jerry: The Gee family is from England. My hubby's side moved to New York area and then Gee's Point. West Point bought their land. They moved on trains to Iowa and Minnesota. Some of the Gees went to New York and then south to become plantation owners. Some of the blacks took on the Gee name when they became free. There is history that the Gees helped the black in the underground railroad to free the slaves. Look up Sally Gee who loved her tea and had to have a cup before the British showed up. There is a poem about Sally Gee and her brothers on the website. My hubby's family is from this family. There are many schooled Gees in the heritage.

    My family is Schmidt and Schatz. We are 100 percent Germans who went to Russia, then America and the Dakotas. We are related to Lawrence Welk on the Schatz side. Heritage is fun. Many of our family loved the accordion music and loved to dance.

    On wings of eagles is from my NaNoWriMo which the Lord led me to write. Jesus helps me at night with ideas and his words. Maxi is somewhat like me who likes to write and go on adventures. Many of my names are friends I know. Jesus shows up in many of my scenes and I write in miracles. God's blessings to you all.nancy

reply by GE Parson on 25-Aug-2020
    Thank you so much for your detailed answer to my inquiry.
    Lawrence Welks, huh? Wow!
    I pastored a Baptist chuch in which one of he membrs was a lady by name of Esther Gee who was of German decent.
    Again thank you for taking time to answer. God's blessings to you, Jerry

reply by GE Parson on 25-Aug-2020
    Thank you so much for your detailed answer to my inquiry.
    Lawrence Welks, huh? Wow!
    I pastored a Baptist chuch in which one of he membrs was a lady by name of Esther Gee who was of German decent.
    Again thank you for taking time to answer. God's blessings to you, Jerry
Comment by
Lucy de Welles
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Hi Nancy,
Story is coming along nicely. Characters developing well. Facing challenges successfully together. Falling in love. Businesses succeeding. Making new friends along the way. Helping people.
Love it. Always look forward to reading the next chapter.

Fixes:

...rubbed it(')s back on the grass.

He spotted the sign on the truck: "On Wings of Eagles," along with a painting of an eagle flying over the mountains.

We crush and recreate water bottles...

"Why do you call your company, 'On Wings of Eagles'?"

Hope you and yours are doing well :)
xxLucy


 Comment Written 19-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
    Lucy: there are many songs and missions with the name, "on eagle's wings." I try to be unique in my names. Maxi and Phoenix are bonding and kissing soon. They are from different lifestyles. I have more bonding adventures coming up. They learn to trust each other. Glad you like the touch of romance. I watch Hallmark romance to gain ideas. LOL God's blessings. nancy

reply by Lucy de Welles on 26-Aug-2020
    Hi Nancy,
    How are you today?
    I always love the name, "On Eagle's Wings." It draws the mind to a higher place. Great imagery!
    Yeah for Hallmark!
    Hugs,
    Lucy
Comment by
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royowen
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Well done Nancy, beautifully written my friend, the Lord always comes to the aid of His children, creating situations that appear to be be impossible for the uninitiated, creating opportunities, not only for glorifying His , if they will listen, but a lot thinking it's just plain luck, but we know it's.not. Well done, blessings Roy


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    Roy: the yellow butterfly is for Annie, whose cat recently died. When she is sad, she sees the butterflies dance. I wrote a poem for her in my portfolio.
    I wrote the trucker in to enforce the name of the novel. My friend, Arlee, drove from Minnesota to Texas to California with orange cats and his mascot, Osker. God's blessings. nancy

reply by royowen on 18-Aug-2020
    What a wonderful mother thing you?ve done Nancy, bless you girl.

reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    roy: thank you. This novel is dedicated to Monica and Annie who are my life coaches in the story. They both work with children. I was a youth leader for 12 years, taught water aerobics, and yoga. Many of these details pop up from my life. They are flying higher like eagles!
    nancy

reply by royowen on 18-Aug-2020
    You are not a good mum, you are a great mum, inspired by a great God.
Comment by
Ben Colder
CHARLES EZELL
SHERIDAN
 
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Very glad you are pursuing a writing career. I was thinking on a spiritual aspect with the Butterfly. Your were being sent a message of how someone was guarding the situation. You experiences a motherly reaction.
Thanks for a nice story.


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    Ben: you're the first to notice the yellow butterfly being a spiritual symbol. Maxi heard The Lord speak to her in her spirit about being still and witnessing God's Glory. Phoenix is a Native American who was a homeless vet until he connected to the Father's House Ministry of Isaiah 58 and Matthew 25. In my last chapter, Maxi saw the darkness of the homeless camps in Denver. Together, they become a voice of light and hope. Thanks for stopping by. God's blessings nancy
Comment by
thaities, Rebecca V.
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This is an exciting chapter. Mama bears can indeed be very dangerous protecting her cubs. Your story rolls along very well chapter to chapter. Well done!


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    Rebecca: thank you. I wrote this is one day after thinking about the bear encounter for a week. Our daughters came to visit us from Colorado. God's blessings. nancy
Comment by
Teri7
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Teresa Shortess
 
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This is a very nice and very well written chapter. You used very good descriptive words and very good dialogue. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. love and blessings, teri


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    Teri: I'm glad you are feeling well. I hibernate in my daughter's bedroom and write, listen to praise music, and write. Monica and Annie drove here to visit us for a week from Colorado. They want to start writing poetry. God's blessings. nancy
Comment by
Mastery
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Semper Fi
 
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Hi, Nancy. Good to see you post another chapter. This was quite an exciting time. Bears are not to be messed with in any way or fashion. Good writing of the account, but I have this one suggestion if you don't mind:

"Glancing again at the van, the momma bear got back onto all four legs and walked over to her cub, snuggling it with her nose." (Always strive to use the strongest verb possible in every case when you write.

For instance in this sentence: Change "Walked over to her cub" to "Lumbered over to her cub" It does make a difference, trust me. :) Bob


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    PenPal Bob: thank you for pointing out another master point of writing. I've strengthened the verbs and the ending.

    Monica and Annie drove through four states for 14 hours to see us for a vacation. We had fun cooking vegan foods, swimming in the green weedy lakes, and gazing at the stars.

    Hope you like the rewrite. God's blessings. nancy
Comment by
Marjon van Bruggen
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Calle Romani, 14
 
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Gorgeous writing! A good story with lots of movement, a little bit of adventure and tension to keep the reader's attention, a lot of hope and faith, of fun and laughter, of cooperation and doing-things-together.
I enjoyed it immensely.


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    Marjon: thank you. This is the start of Flying Eagle Ranch adventures. The ranch is a mixture of ranches I've see and based on Flying Horse Ranch out of Colorado Springs. The characters are based on friends of mine. God's blessings. nancy

reply by Marjon van Bruggen on 19-Aug-2020
    Welcome, Nancy!
Comment by
Alcreator Litt Dear
 
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 Rank:  5
 

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This is a fantastic story I like and have enjoyed the read; good flow of thoughts all the way; though the beginning is not catchy, the ending is curious; well said, well done; wish you happy learning writing; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2020
    Alcreator: thank you for your support. It's one thing to fast write the NaNoWriMo and it's another to edit, write, and edit. God's blessings. Stay tuned to Flying Eagle Ranch. nancy
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