Take Your Burdens to Jesus
This is a 5-7-5 poetry writing
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Reviews from
Matt Wants a Rat


A short rhyming story poem.

  20 total reviews 
Comment by
Melanie White
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  340
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  238
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
As someone who has helped a lot of children learn how to read, I think this would be a great story for them. It's a fun story that I think kids would really enjoy. I voted for your story to win this contest.


 Comment Written 30-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
    Thank you so much, Cindy! This review means so much, considering your background in teaching.
    It was fun to write, too. I have a degree in Elementary Education, and have always loved kids' books! I appreciate this message!

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
    Thank you so much, Cindy! This review means so much, considering your background in teaching.
    It was fun to write, too. I have a degree in Elementary Education, and have always loved kids' books! I appreciate this message!
Comment by
Earl Corp
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  179 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  24 (+1)
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  56 (+1)
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  27
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This could very well be published in a children's book. It's cute, it rhymes, and is funny. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing. Stay safe and stay healthy.


 Comment Written 30-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
    Thank you for the wonderful compliment:) I had fun making it up! You take care as well!

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
    Thank you for the wonderful compliment:) I had fun making it up! You take care as well!
Comment by
Ric Myworld
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  Rank:  43
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  Rank:  73
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
It's always fun to sort of float back in time and remember what you read as a kid, but with times ever changing with computers and video hysteria "See spot run" simplicity has been lost. Thanks for the fun little read.


 Comment Written 30-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
    You are so welcome. I appreciate your comments about childhood!
    Tina
Comment by
Roxanna Andrews
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  209
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  110
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  57
Review Stars
  Rank:  94
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is just too cute. I love the story and it would make a great children's book. I feel you did well with the phonemes. I never knew that was what you called words that were just one letter different. Phonics I know as my mom was a big believer in phonics. I hope you do well in the contest.


 Comment Written 30-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
    Thank you so much! It was fun to write so I may do some more! I appreciate the great review. It means so much!

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
    Thank you so much! It was fun to write so I may do some more! I appreciate the great review. It means so much!
Comment by
Katherine M. Kean
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  143
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  26 (+2)
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  46
Script Rating
  Rank:  12
Review Stars
  Rank:  50
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is a delightful story using an endless fund of the same group of phonemes, and not just one but a second group. I would expect this to provide endless amusement for young children. Thank you so much for sharing it via the phoneme challenge.


 Comment Written 30-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
    Good morning! This is a pleasant surprise to wake up to! Thank you so much for reading my poem. I'm so encouraged with this review!

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
    Good morning! This is a pleasant surprise to wake up to! Thank you so much for reading my poem. I'm so encouraged with this review!
Comment by
elchupakabra
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  303
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  60
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Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  120
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Scat said to Matt, Do not ask me that.

I think you could improve the piece with some more rhymes, -at is a pretty easy rhyme to work in some different ones so they're not repeated as much but I understand it's for kids and you didn't want to over complicate. Good work and good luck in the contest. Later daze.


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
    I will consider that suggestion. Thanks! I thought I was already overdoing it, but you're right. I could have added some more rhymes. I appreciate you and your suggestion:)
Comment by
RShipp
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  65
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  63
Review Stars
  Rank:  31
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A very interesting take on the 'A Phonemes and Phonics Challenge' contest.

I thought you told a very good story being confined to the barriers of this contest.

Enjoyed.


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
    Thank you very much! It was fun to do...felt like a kid again!
Comment by
Iza Deleanu
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  102
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  10
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  10
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  13
 

#10 Ranked Author

#10 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Funny little story with an unexpected rat that wants a cat... nice rhyming Matt-cat_rat_mat. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and contest.


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
    Thank you so much, Iza!

reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
    Thank you so much, Iza!
Comment by
Bill Pinder
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  40
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  83
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  27
Review Stars
  Rank:  97
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Great job with this playful rhyming children's poem for the phonetic contest. It appears that there is nothing more to say about that unless you wanted to add a fat cat. Bill


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
    Haha...fat cat! Thank you so so much for the generous review! This was so fun to write!

reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
    Haha...fat cat! Thank you so so much for the generous review! This was so fun to write!
Comment by
Lobber
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  287
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  193
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  217
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You write: - Matt sat and sat and wished for a rat.
He fell asleep just like the cat. Also a good place to sleep would be Matt's Fat lap. One word that's missing is Drat!
- Lobber


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2020
    Oh goodness. That would have been a good word to use!! Thanks for the review!
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