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Nonet Poetry Contest
Deadline: Tomorrow!

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Deadline: In 4 Days

5-7-5 Poetry
Deadline: Dec 10th

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Deadline: Dec 12th

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Deadline: Dec 14th


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Reviews from
Down by the Railroad Tracks


Helping others.

  5 total reviews 
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  22
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  9
 

#9 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A beautiful story with an awesome testimonial interpretation, my lady. Yes, there was a reason for him... and hopefully you found that reason for your family. :) ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;) Yvette


 Comment Written 03-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
    Thank you, Yvette! Thank you for reading and for your comments.
    Hugs,
    Tina
Comment by
poetwatch
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  169
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  204
Review Stars
  Rank:  81
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Tina, everyone is always busy to help those less fortunate, we are all worrying about ourselves and our loved ones. Yet, you are correct in assuming that Jesus wanted someone to help that man. We all have the desire, but few of us do what is right. This is a good offering for the Non-Fiction Writing Contest. ou may want to check out this line it doesn't sound correct. "We missed a chance to love on someone,"


 Comment Written 01-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 01-Sep-2020
    I will take out the word "on" as it isnt needed. I use that phrase a lot myself, but it can have a different connotation, so I will remove it. Thanks for telling me. It helps me to learn and also proofread better!
    As I get older, I want to be a person of action... meaning I have not always been. God has provided me some opportunities lately and I feel so honored to help these people. Thanks again for giving me your thoughts. I will check out that phrase now!
    Tina
Comment by
Sally Law
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  25
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  6
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  11
Review Stars
  Rank:  12
 

#6 Ranked Author
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A sweet story and heart for people you share here. It is much like my own. Your infectious heart has been transferred to your children. A wonderful thing.

I have a few improvements for your consideration.

-Paragraph 1- Space after "away."

Paragraph 1- (or) by the railroad tracks.

-Paragraph 8. "Yep... Jesus's love..." A space needed between ellipsis and Jesus's. Cleaner.

-"Loving on him." I know what you mean here, but "loving on" to some folks implies physical touch. Love is a broad term so "love" is sufficient here. Jesus said to love one another. :)

- Use uniform indentation of the paragraphs throughout. It gives a pleasing and crisp look to the eye.

I hope this is helpful. So nice to see you writing prose. :))

Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the contest,
Sal XOs.....


 Comment Written 01-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 01-Sep-2020
    Thank you, Sally for taking time to mentor my first try at telling stories. I will go back and edit. You are a gem of a friend. I'm praying for you, just because.🥰

reply by Sally Law on 01-Sep-2020
    You are so welcome,e. Thanks so much for your prayers. I certainly need them and cherish them. Sal XOs.....

reply by the author on 01-Sep-2020
    Hugs, Sweet Sally. You are special to me, and not just because you kind of mentor me on here, but because you have a special soul.
    Hugs to you,
    Tina
Comment by
lyenochka
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  3
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  3
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  2
Script Rating
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  2
 

#3 Ranked Author

#2 Ranked Novelist

#3 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Script Writer

#2 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Is this biographical, Tina? Your category says "Spiritual Fiction" but this is for the "Non-Fiction" writing contest. This story has a very important scripture-based message.

Formatting suggestion: Please put a blank line between paragraphs to improve readability.
One typo:
the kind of car noone drove (no one)


 Comment Written 31-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 31-Aug-2020
    Oops! Thank you sweet Helen! I will fix those things. This is my first story..yes this was real.
    Thsnks!!!
Comment by
Elizabeth Emerald
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  141
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  2
Script Rating
  Rank:  5
Review Stars
  Rank:  5
 

#2 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Script Writer

#5 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
(typos: noone s/b no one; bag of stuuf s/b stuff) Poignant story--this would also make for a fine entry for the faith contest--can't double dip, alas. This may be a winner! Cheers. LIZ


 Comment Written 31-Aug-2020



reply by the author on 31-Aug-2020
    Thanks, Liz for your corrections. This is my first stiry. I guess I rushed it.
    I appreciate you!
    Tina
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