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Reviews from
Unspoken Love


Shyness

  35 total reviews 
Comment by
Ric Myworld
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  42
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  72
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Yes, we are always so afraid of rejection that it's hard to put ourselves out there by confessing our true thoughts and feelings. But I think my dad said it right, "If you don't speak up, you don't eat boy." Thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 26-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
    I love what your dad said. Thanks for your POV. It does happen even though we wish it didn't. We just can't say it, sometimes.

    Ralf
Comment by
estory
Premier Author
north carolina
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  96
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  114
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  69
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Nice job with this sonnet form, in an unusual rhyme scheme that worked, I think. I liked the echoing rhyme effects and the conversational style of the language made it feel like we were listening in to your heart. Very much a romantic poem of unrequited love, you caught this trembling moment when someone is caught between feelings and expressing those feelings. estory


 Comment Written 26-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
    You express yourself very well in this review that I love. Thank you.

    Ralf
Comment by
Eternal Muse
Level 1 Pro
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  139 (+1)
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Review Stars
  Rank:  16
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This was very lovely. You bring out the fear of expressing love that can be unrequited, and we may get hurt.

I loved your style, as well as your rhyming and flow.

These two lines, though, seemed a bit awkward to me, the way they were constructed, though I catch your meaning:

Why is it that I fail to show the part?

Perhaps you can consider re-wording them a little.

Thank you for sharing, thank you for the message and good luck in the contest.
That I possess where you dwell in my heart


 Comment Written 25-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
    Thank you for a very fine review. I will think about your suggestion.

    Ralf
Comment by
Shirley McLain
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  69
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  117
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  36
Review Stars
  Rank:  132
 
Excellent
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I can see why you recieved all time best status with this wonderful piece of poetry. It was smooth to read and was easy to understand the longing in the heart of the one wanting to speak love, but can't. You did a great job. Shirley


 Comment Written 25-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
    Thank you for a very lovely review. I am grateful for your words.

    Ralf
Comment by
the13thpoet
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  91 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  101
 
Excellent
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Good Morning Raffaelina, a happy Friday to you. That was a great poem, I often feel that exact same way. Words are often easier to write than to say. Anyway, it had a good flow and the rhymes were good as well, should be a strong contest entry. Good luck and have a great day.


 Comment Written 25-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
    Thanks for this wonderful review. I have missed you, where have you been. I thought I was a fan. But I'll check that out now.

    Ralf
Comment by
Pantygynt
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  94
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  4
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  21
 

#4 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is a fine Shakespearean or English sonnet with an interesting and unusual use of an amphimacer (JUST preTEND) as the first foot of Line 11by way of a metrical substitution. The second foot compensates for that with an amphibrach (i SAID them) before returning to the iambic rhythm for the remaining two feet of the line. It is the sort of thing both Shakespeare and Petrarch loved to do but in a FanStory sonnet contest would have you disqualified in an instant. Lol.

With your permission I would like to use this in my forthcoming metre class.


 Comment Written 25-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
    Dear Pantygynt. I did not write this as a Sonnet, but simply a rhyming poem, although I was quite aware that it somewhat resembled a Sonnet, I knew it wasn't because of the lack of stress words here and there, where needed. I appreciate your analysis and the information I may glean from your words. You may use whatever you wish, but please do not say that this was an intended Sonnet, because it wasn't. Well, I suppose you could pretend.LOL
    I would like to hear about your classes.

    Raffaelina

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
    I failed to thank you for the coveted six-stars. How generous!

reply by Pantygynt on 25-Sep-2020
    I am running a class on metre here on FanStory starting next week. I use Zoom to bring us together. To sign up go to you Main Menu and click on 'Classes' then Classes available - metre class. When you have taken it all in if you wish to join us click on Join Class and wait for me to contact you.

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
    Thank you for replying so quickly. I will look into it.
Comment by
equestrik
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  50
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  148
Review Stars
  Rank:  5
 

#5 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I agree, so many times with love as well as other topics, it is difficult to find the words we really long to say. This is a sweet and heart felt poem with a lovely picture.


 Comment Written 25-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
    I appreciate your comments here. Thank you for words in this review.

    Ralf
Comment by
Gypsy Blue Rose
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  9
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Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  13
 

#9 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Unspoken Love
by Raffaelina Lowcock

Hello, Raffaelina,

I'm a bit shy too so I understand the poem. Sometimes you can find a great ing card that expresses one's feelings.


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020
    In fact that is how I handled it. Thank you for your review. May I ask if I am still muted from your work?

reply by the author on 01-Oct-2020
    I am mystified as to why you have muted me.

    Ralf
Comment by
Becky Kern-Taylor
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  214
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  149
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
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Very beautiful piece. I reallly love all your works, they are so to the point. I think it depends on howmany times you have been hurt, and by who. Love the artwork and also the color scheme, so refreshing. You will do very well with theis work.


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020
    You are very generous in your praise and I do appreciate your words. Thank you.

    Ralf
Comment by
Miss Cookie Atkinson
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  73 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  146
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  73
Review Stars
  Rank:  55
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like the words to your poem they are so sweet
i'm kinda like that expression my feeling, I had to learn the hard way by doing that
I let the good ones get away
Cookie


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020
    Aaah! Too bad. Thank you for your nice review.

    Ralf

reply by Miss Cookie Atkinson on 24-Sep-2020
    Your very welcome , and I must say you did a wonderful job
    stay safe and be blessed
    Cookie
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