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Reviews from
Unspoken Love

Shyness

35 total reviews

Comment by

Ric Myworld

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Rank: 86

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes, we are always so afraid of rejection that it's hard to put ourselves out there by confessing our true thoughts and feelings. But I think my dad said it right, "If you don't speak up, you don't eat boy." Thanks for sharing.

Comment Written 26-Sep-2020

reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020

I love what your dad said. Thanks for your POV. It does happen even though we wish it didn't. We just can't say it, sometimes.

Ralf

Comment by

estory

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north carolina

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Rank: 66

Excellent

Nice job with this sonnet form, in an unusual rhyme scheme that worked, I think. I liked the echoing rhyme effects and the conversational style of the language made it feel like we were listening in to your heart. Very much a romantic poem of unrequited love, you caught this trembling moment when someone is caught between feelings and expressing those feelings. estory

Comment Written 26-Sep-2020

reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020

You express yourself very well in this review that I love. Thank you.

Ralf

Comment by

Eternal Muse

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Rank: 52

Excellent

This was very lovely. You bring out the fear of expressing love that can be unrequited, and we may get hurt.

I loved your style, as well as your rhyming and flow.

These two lines, though, seemed a bit awkward to me, the way they were constructed, though I catch your meaning:

Why is it that I fail to show the part?

Perhaps you can consider re-wording them a little.

Thank you for sharing, thank you for the message and good luck in the contest.
That I possess where you dwell in my heart

Comment Written 25-Sep-2020

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020

Thank you for a very fine review. I will think about your suggestion.

Ralf

Comment by

Shirley McLain

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Rank: 296

Excellent

I can see why you recieved all time best status with this wonderful piece of poetry. It was smooth to read and was easy to understand the longing in the heart of the one wanting to speak love, but can't. You did a great job. Shirley

Comment Written 25-Sep-2020

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020

Thank you for a very lovely review. I am grateful for your words.

Ralf

Comment by

the13thpoet

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Rank: 353

Excellent

Good Morning Raffaelina, a happy Friday to you. That was a great poem, I often feel that exact same way. Words are often easier to write than to say. Anyway, it had a good flow and the rhymes were good as well, should be a strong contest entry. Good luck and have a great day.

Comment Written 25-Sep-2020

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020

Thanks for this wonderful review. I have missed you, where have you been. I thought I was a fan. But I'll check that out now.

Ralf

Comment by

Pantygynt

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Rank: 11

#1 Ranked Novelist!

Exceptional

This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a fine Shakespearean or English sonnet with an interesting and unusual use of an amphimacer (JUST preTEND) as the first foot of Line 11by way of a metrical substitution. The second foot compensates for that with an amphibrach (i SAID them) before returning to the iambic rhythm for the remaining two feet of the line. It is the sort of thing both Shakespeare and Petrarch loved to do but in a FanStory sonnet contest would have you disqualified in an instant. Lol.

With your permission I would like to use this in my forthcoming metre class.

Comment Written 25-Sep-2020

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020

Dear Pantygynt. I did not write this as a Sonnet, but simply a rhyming poem, although I was quite aware that it somewhat resembled a Sonnet, I knew it wasn't because of the lack of stress words here and there, where needed. I appreciate your analysis and the information I may glean from your words. You may use whatever you wish, but please do not say that this was an intended Sonnet, because it wasn't. Well, I suppose you could pretend.LOL
I would like to hear about your classes.

Raffaelina

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020

I failed to thank you for the coveted six-stars. How generous!

reply by Pantygynt on 25-Sep-2020

I am running a class on metre here on FanStory starting next week. I use Zoom to bring us together. To sign up go to you Main Menu and click on 'Classes' then Classes available - metre class. When you have taken it all in if you wish to join us click on Join Class and wait for me to contact you.

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020

Thank you for replying so quickly. I will look into it.

Comment by

equestrik

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Rank: 15

Excellent

I agree, so many times with love as well as other topics, it is difficult to find the words we really long to say. This is a sweet and heart felt poem with a lovely picture.

Comment Written 25-Sep-2020

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020

I appreciate your comments here. Thank you for words in this review.

Ralf

Comment by

Gypsy Blue Rose

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Rank: 19

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Rank: 18

Excellent

Unspoken Love
by Raffaelina Lowcock

Hello, Raffaelina,

I'm a bit shy too so I understand the poem. Sometimes you can find a great ing card that expresses one's feelings.

Comment Written 24-Sep-2020

reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020

In fact that is how I handled it. Thank you for your review. May I ask if I am still muted from your work?

reply by the author on 01-Oct-2020

I am mystified as to why you have muted me.

Ralf

Comment by

Becky Kern-Taylor

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Rank: 50

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Rank: 175

Excellent

Very beautiful piece. I reallly love all your works, they are so to the point. I think it depends on howmany times you have been hurt, and by who. Love the artwork and also the color scheme, so refreshing. You will do very well with theis work.

Comment Written 24-Sep-2020

reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020

You are very generous in your praise and I do appreciate your words. Thank you.

Ralf

Comment by

Miss Cookie Atkinson

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Rank: 92

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Rank: 78

Excellent

I like the words to your poem they are so sweet
i'm kinda like that expression my feeling, I had to learn the hard way by doing that
I let the good ones get away
Cookie

Comment Written 24-Sep-2020

reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020

Aaah! Too bad. Thank you for your nice review.

Ralf

reply by Miss Cookie Atkinson on 24-Sep-2020

Your very welcome , and I must say you did a wonderful job
stay safe and be blessed
Cookie

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