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Reviews from
Killer Candy


Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Tackling both cases"

PI's track maker of candy killing kids

  5 total reviews 
Comment by
Shirley McLain
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  73
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  117
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  36 (+1)
Review Stars
  Rank:  135
 
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Another well written chapter and I'm enjoying reading them, even if it is backwards. You did a great job and I didn't find a single error. Take care, Shirley


 Comment Written 25-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
    Thank you for your review and great rating.

    Karlene
Comment by
AJ McCall
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  488
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  73
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  86 (+1)
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Aww, man! I wanted to read more after the warriors backed away. This chapter definitely hooked me. And why did the Fanghornn brothers just run? Probably because they didn't want to seen by the police either, I'm guessing. An anonymous call... who would do that? So, small doses of drugs are being injected into the sweets? That's crazy. But who's giving them out? That was super bold of Serria to walk into the middle of a meeting. She's returning with a warrant, so that they cannot stop her. (I love confident female characters. Especially dark-skinned women.:)

Now I did notice some typos...

Serria told them,

(she) asked.

There's two ways I'm going to guess how you were writing this: 1. (A) Large dose can kill adults. No wonder kids (are) dying," the doctor said.

2. Large (doses) can kill adults. No wonder kids (are) dying." the doctor said.

(It's) well past lunchtime.

"Let me see when either of them have an opening(,)"

I'll be waiting for the next chapter! :)


 Comment Written 22-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thank you for your review, great rating, catches, and your bookmarking my books.

    Karlene

reply by AJ McCall on 23-Sep-2020
    You're welcome!
Comment by
royowen
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  Rank:  1
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 Rank:  1
 

#1 Ranked Poet!

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Excellent
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I like the many meetings with the witnesses and the victims, the various exotic foods. One of the reasons I like Sci fi is the many different worlds and the different cultures and how the story skips along. I like the inevitable confrontations, and the way you handle those encounters, well done, blessings Roy


 Comment Written 22-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thank you for your review and great rating.

    Karlene
Comment by
bhogg
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  Rank:  101
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  Rank:  245
 
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Your story is not my genre of choice. Saying that, I thoroughly enjoyed this. You do a great job of moving your reader through with dialog. At the same time, your narrative is descriptive enough to allow the reader to see and understand things we're not used to. I'll circle back for future postings. Bill


 Comment Written 22-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thank you for your review and great rating.

    Karlene
Comment by
Alcreator Litt Dear
 
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Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  11
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I have enjoyed the read, the dramatic and thoughtful taletelling, soft and skimmed plot development, realistic and contributory dialogues; good beginning and resolved ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR


 Comment Written 22-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thank you for your review and great rating.

    Karlene
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