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Reviews from
The End of the Line


A man is forced to sell his family farm

  10 total reviews 
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  33
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  57
 
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Hello estory I read about the farmer and his wife were talking to sell his family farm I liked it very much even if it was long.
You kept my interest. Hoping that they decide to sell the family farm. I admit I got very emotional thinking how much the farmer loved the tobacco farm. As your story we meet his very concerned farmers wife along with their two grown children. Yes to me got to the point I wanted with anticipation what the Fammer decided.
I was not disappointed.
Gert



 Comment Written 28-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 29-Sep-2020
    Thanks so much for your encouraging remarks supporting this piece and I am glad it seems to have worked up the emotions and feelings for the characters. If you can do that for many readers, then I think I've done my job as a writer. It is a complicated story about generations being swept apart, social change, cultural change, and how individuals have to deal with them. estory

reply by Gert sherwood on 29-Sep-2020
    estoty you are welcome
    Gert
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  17
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  Rank:  12
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Review Stars
  Rank:  24
 
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E,

This is such a sad piece. Coming to grips with change and age and the new state of the world. Where things don't last - everything is disposable - why would anyone want to have anything that LASTS? Great points here. I enjoyed this sad struggle between the old guard and the new generation. So sad!

Notes:
1.) We've been on this land from before there was (a) country, and ancestors of mine fought for this

2.) living room, "Why don't you come on it and have a glass of ice(d) tea?"

3.) "It isn't the money, Shirley," I said, putting down the ice(d) tea.

4..) I took a drink from the ice(d) tea, rubbed my face with my hand.

5.) walking (past) the tobacco plants, looking up at the stars.

6.) Make sure when the kids talk to their dad that you capitalize all the direct references. 'Dad'/'Daddy'

Thanks a bunch. Poignant, pensive, sad. I get it. Totally.


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
    Thanks for the excellent review and for all the wonderful encouraging comments supporting the story, and I am glad it worked up the emotions in you. That's my goal, to create pieces that make people think and feel. estory
Comment by
2019 Novelist of the Year
Ulla
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  71 (+3)
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  Rank:  109 (+2)
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  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  38
 

#3 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi Estory, it's a very well written story. It's also a classic tale. The new generation not wanting the inheritance of a huge piece of land to farm. Sad yes, but that's how it is. It shows the father's grief an desperation very well.
from North Ireland, = from the north of Ireland, or from Ulster, which the whole northern part of ireland was called in those days. North Ireland didn't become into existence until the beginning of the 19th century.
All best. Ulla:)))


 Comment Written 23-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020
    Thanks again for the six star review and your perspective on this story. I like to write stories illustrating the complications of life and how they tear people apart. estory
Comment by
Lisa Wharton
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  Rank:  226
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  Rank:  86
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  Rank:  36 (+1)
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is very written story about a tobacco farmer in South Carolina. I'm really impressed by the tension between two generations and felt sympathetic to all of them. The older generation was glued to the land and the farm and couldn't imagine to live without it. It is their spirit and their well being, not just money and income. The younger generation is attached to the technology and electronics and can't imagine living without them. They go to gym to start physically healthy instead of farming. I belong to the latter even though I'm older than them. The ending is sad but we all have to adopt to this ever changing world.

Exceptionally done.


 Comment Written 22-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thanks again for the six stars and all your supporting comments. I am glad the story was so moving for you and it means a lot to get reviews like this from someone like you. Write on! estory

reply by Lisa Wharton on 23-Sep-2020
    It was a well written story. That?s why. We

reply by Lisa Wharton on 23-Sep-2020
    Sorry for thinking two Carolinas are the same.
Comment by
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  114
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Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  22
 

#1 Ranked Novelist!
Excellent
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I can really understand what Earl is feeling. Our children have gone on completely different paths to the ones we went on. One day it will go full circle, because there'll come a time when all this modern stuff will go, and people will have to learn again to do what our ancestors did so many years ago. I really felt sad for Earl. This was a lovely story, Estory. I really enjoyed it. :)) Sandra xx


 Comment Written 22-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thanks for the excellent review and for your wonderful encouraging remarks supporting the story. I am glad it seems to have been so moving for you. To bring out emotions is the goal of every writer, so it is satisfying to hear people feel that way about something you write. estory
Comment by
teols2016
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  Rank:  58
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  Rank:  214
 
teols2016 Recommends:
Mr. Justice
A Justice steps up to help.
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 
Excellent
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I can absolutely relate. I'm younger than Earl but don't always agree with how things have changed in recent decades.

A couple suggestions:

1. I would seperate scene changes/time lapses with * * *.

2. It didn't sound natural when the son, Brandon, referred to his father as "Daddy." It worked great in Earl's thoughts and when Lizzie said it, but I feel a son, especially a grown one, would say "Dad".

3. A big one: When talking about the family's history on the farm, I'd mention something about slavery (however you want) and the fact NC was a Confederate state then (was the family for or against slavery/the war? What did they do?). I think it would be a bold addition and make the story/history even more 3-dimensional.

Well done.


 Comment Written 22-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thanks for the excellent review and for your perspective and suggestions and support for the story. I think I agree with you about the 'daddy' and I will probably change it someday. Dad is probably better for Brandon. As for the slavery question; that is really a totally different issue and not really a part of the theme here, which is about generational upheaval in a family and the father feeling that he has let down his obligations to his ancestors and lost connection with his kids. The wife is trying to support Earl and her kids, so she is torn. The slavery question will have to be for a different story, but I think coming from NC, its fair to say they fought for the Confederacy. My poem Blalock House deals more with that issue. estory
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  26 (+4)
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  11
 

#9 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Poet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Well, E, you've got me in tears over here... damn, that was just wonderfully done, touching on so many points that face folks today: old and young. It is that same story than many families have faced in the past - growing up/apart as the world changes - but nowadays with technology being 'on the fast' track these past 2-3 decades versus decades further back, it just seems to hit 'harder, more drastic'... whether it be land or simply traditions that parents always hoped would carry on... Well done, my friend, and I certainly look forward to more "real NC" stories (but try to avoid the tears, will ya?) ... ;) Yvette

my son Brandon --> my son, Brandon

heart, I'd driven --> heart; I'd driven

tractor for, every day. --> [suggestion only...] tractor for. Every. Day.

you come on it and have --> you come on in and have



 Comment Written 22-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thanks again for the six stars and all your wonderful comments supporting this story. I am glad it was so moving for you. I can't promise to avoid the tears. For some reason, the tear jerkers are harder to write than comedy. estory
Comment by
Mary Jane Y
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  Rank:  361
 
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I can really relate to this story because I lived on a farm in in NC for years when I was young. We also grew tobacco, which I helped top and hand to be strung on sticks and hung in a barn to dry.
I would not have wanted that life as an adult so I understand had the children felt , but could feel the pain of Earls lost. Enjoyed reading this it took me back a few years.


 Comment Written 22-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thanks so much for the excellent review and your very interesting comments on the story. You really seem to have lived Earl's story here. And you see it from both sides, much like Shirley. I don't think there is a right or wrong side here, it is not black and white, but the pain is still there for these people. Glad the story evoked such strong emotions and memories for you. Where in NC did you live? I'm in Johnston County. estory

reply by Mary Jane Y on 24-Sep-2020
    I use to live in a very little area called Weston. Close to walnut cove
Comment by
thaities, Rebecca V.
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Poet Rating
 
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  Rank:  6
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  Rank:  12
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  Rank:  6
 

#6 Ranked Author
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is one of the best stories I have read in a long time. None of our children want our way of life either, so I identify completely with Earl. It is a most distressing thing for any man like Earl to go through.


 Comment Written 22-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thanks again for the sixer and all your continued support for my work over the months. I appreciate it and I am glad you are enjoying the stories and poems. estory

reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 23-Sep-2020
    You're very welcome.
Comment by
Alcreator Litt Dear
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  9
 
Excellent
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I liked and enjoyed the read from top to bottom, real taletelling about the story of a native village farmer's family; good plot development, nice and realistic dialogues; good beginning, moralistic resolved ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR


 Comment Written 22-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thanks for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting this story. I am glad the story seemed to have been so moving for you and for so many people on the site. It is always the goal of a writer to write stories like this that really move readers. estory
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