Hard-Boiled Times
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Reviews from
On the couch


A man finds a letter his mother wrote years earlier

  12 total reviews 
Comment by
sandramitchell
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Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
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That would be a letter no one would want to find. Knowing you might not even exist if your father hadn't been blackmailed into marrying your mother. That is not a nice thought to take on board. An excellent story coming from a letter you found from your friend. Well done! :)) Sandra xx


 Comment Written 26-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 26-Sep-2020
    Thanks so much, Sandra. I?m really glad you enjoyed it.
Comment by
Robert Zimmerman
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Hello Oliver.

This is a well conceived, well written story. Your descriptive narrative draws a complete picture of his mental state.

The letter could truly be traumatic as the scenario that was presented gives the reader a whole new perspective on life.

I particularly like this following quote: "he heard her snores, loud as gunshots." That is an outstanding description.

This is well done.

Robert


 Comment Written 25-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
    thanks so much for the great feedback and review, i really appreciate it

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 25-Sep-2020
    You're welcome.
Comment by
teols2016
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Fascinating. I'd love to see a sequel.

I did notice one small issue:

moving his leg to give hers a stroke.: the woman subsequently complains about the cast hurting her. This would suggest it was more than a "stroke" (i.e. kick, etc.) Stroke implies a soft, non-painful brush.

Otherwise, well done.


 Comment Written 25-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 25-Sep-2020
    Thanks for the great feedback, I really appreciate it. I guess what I meant was he thought he was stroking her but the hard cast hurt her instead of feeling comfortable. Thanks again
Comment by
estory
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north carolina
 
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Vibrant descriptions of the characters and the scene put us right there, and I think finding this letter that talks about how close your own mother was to aborting you is very disconcerting, to say the lease. The fragility of life, and those moments of love and life you talk about early in the piece, really leaps to the forground of this. Everyone deserves a chance at life. A chance to live. To find love and joy and even go through the hard times, the discord. You really pull the rug from under life with that letter. estory


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020
    Thanks for the great feedback, I really appreciate it!
Comment by
Mary Vigasin
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i understand now that you left it up to your reader's imagination.
Your writing is very descriptive and you are able to give your reader a believable character.
It is because the mother is afraid of the father dying. Is it written during wartime? Was he sick? Was she just frighten of life? Where does it say that she is stopping him from doing something? To me it seems unclear. "You know what I mean by that." but what does the reader know?
Maybe it is just flying high over my head.


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020
    Thanks for your comments. I left a bit to the imagination

reply by Mary Vigasin on 24-Sep-2020
    ok maybe I took it too literally. I will change it to a five
Comment by
Loren
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This "found " story was intriguing and definitely kept this reader'a interest. The finding of the letter seemed like a natural occurrence based on the circumstances. The letter itself says a lot about the integrity of the parents. I like the way the real incident inspired this story. Loren


 Comment Written 23-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thanks for the great feedback, I really appreciate it!
Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
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Your letter reads well. Your 'found' item is interesting and the before and after its discovery is plausible. I agree a letter like this would certainly affect most anyone. You did a good job describing the intensity of the bridge crossing.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan


 Comment Written 23-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thanks so much for the great feedback and review, I really appreciate it
Comment by
Colin John
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Hi Oliver, that's a great idea and truth is I think most people throw away the old letters but how wonderful they can be, my family bible has one (in Canada now) and theirs one from 1865 and finishes, 'I best go now as my candle is low'. Great story and thanks for sharing. Cheers


 Comment Written 23-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thanks Colin! That must be an amazing letter to read, and I love the last line about the candle. That?s a story right there!

reply by Colin John on 23-Sep-2020
    Cheers yes I know, thank you.
Comment by
Alcreator Litt Dear
 
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 Rank:  11
 
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This fiction speaks a discovery of a man's birth from a letter of his mother from a friend, simple taletelling, good plot development, nice beginning and resolved ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR


 Comment Written 23-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thanks so much for your review!
Comment by
Sanku
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A good theme for a short story. I enjoy reading short stories.
But his father had sacrificed his dreams ,that is clear .may he had wanted to be a mountaineer...well done

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 23-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2020
    Thanks for the great feedback, I really appreciate your review
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