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Loop Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 2 Days

My Faith
Deadline: Oct 30th

Halloween Flash Fiction
Deadline: Oct 31st

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Deadline: Oct 31st

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Deadline: Nov 2nd


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Reviews from
Incident At Taysom Hill Park


A black sun rose one morning

  18 total reviews 
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  25
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  10
 

#9 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow - now there's a whole lot of emotion written in only eighty words, Brett... so much backstory the reader can imagine here as well - great job!;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck! ;) Yvette


 Comment Written 26-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
    Glad you enjoyed this posting. A much appreciated spot on review.
Comment by
Ric Myworld
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  42
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  72
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Ouch, this is some fine writing that packs a powerful punch with very few words. And I must say, not anything I might have expected to come from you, but well done just the same. Thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 26-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
    Glad you enjoyed. A piece that came and fell by the wayside. Much appreciated review.
Comment by
Shirley McLain
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  70
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  117
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  36
Review Stars
  Rank:  132
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What a tragic story of murderous rage and suicide. You did a great job with this flash fiction. I did not find any errors. Have a great week-end. Shirley


 Comment Written 25-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
    Always appreciate your spot on reviews and insights.
Comment by
nomi338
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  164
Review Stars
  Rank:  79
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
It is so sad that some people view the deceit of another as a personal affront, rather than just a failing of the one who tried to and ultimately failed to deceive us. It is so much more fulfilling to just walk away wiser, and free of the influence of the deceiver's evil ways. Free to find real love, true friendship and the enervating power to show the deceiver what they will forever be without.


 Comment Written 25-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
    Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate the review.
Comment by
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  108 (+8)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  19
 

#1 Ranked Novelist!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You couldn't have written a tighter murder - suicide story if you'd tried.
I don't think that young man had much going for him, he admits it himself. So, when he sees his girlfriend cheating, something snapped, and then we have two dead people. Excellent story. Well done and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx


 Comment Written 25-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
    A much appreciated spot on review.
Comment by
Ben Colder
CHARLES EZELL
SHERIDAN
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  286
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  108
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  6
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  57
 

#6 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
No doubt and surprised there was head left. I never found any mistakes I was to busy reading what you wrote. Glad it is fiction. Best to you in the contest.


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
    Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate the review.
Comment by
teols2016
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  140
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  50
Review Stars
  Rank:  166
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
It is good, but I don't see much conflict. Wouldn't Dereck have felt better after killing his cheating girlfriend? It sounds like he's committing suicide because of his miserable life, not killing this woman. I think you're spending too much time on that murder if it is not the cause for the suicide.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 24-Sep-2020
    Okay, and your next mis-observation would be?
Comment by
2016 and 2018 Script Write Of The Year
judiverse
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  26
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  35
 

#5 Ranked Author

#1 Ranked Script Writer!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
There isn't much hope for Derrick. Even if he hadn't pulled the trigger, he would have faced justice anyway for killing Rosalie. She wasn't so sweet if she cheated on him, but that's no reason to kill her. Powerfully told, and you include all the necessary elements in your 80 words. Best of luck. judi


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
    Appreciate your insights and the review.
Comment by
2016 and 2018 Script Write Of The Year
judiverse
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  26
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  35
 

#5 Ranked Author

#1 Ranked Script Writer!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
There isn't much hope for Derrick. Even if he hadn't pulled the trigger, he would have faced justice anyway for killing Rosalie. She wasn't so sweet if she cheated on him, but that's no reason to kill her. Powerfully told, and you include all the necessary elements in your 80 words. Best of luck. judi


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
    Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate the review.

reply by judiverse on 09-Oct-2020
    You're very welcome. I have some more of your posts to read, but I'm so behind in reviewing. judi
Comment by
L. Kalere
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  298
Author Rating For Short Works
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I have to say, this probably isn't something I would read if it was a book...too much testosterone. However, you did a good job, it got a reaction from your reader. Nicely written.


 Comment Written 23-Sep-2020



reply by the author on 09-Oct-2020
    Glad you enjoyed this story. Appreciate the review.
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