Contact Us | En español
   
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

True Story Contest
Deadline: In 4 Days

3 Line Poetry Contest
Deadline: Feb 25th

Tanka Poetry Contest
Deadline: Feb 26th

15 Syllable Poem
Deadline: Feb 28th

100 Word Flash Fiction
Deadline: Mar 1st


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None

Recommended


Categories


Write


Reviews from
In Remembrance of Luis


A tribute to a friend

  7 total reviews 
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  20
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  17
Review Stars
  
 
 Rank:  8
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A very well-written linked refrain about a friend who passed away and had a bad habit of drinking that ended his life, but apart from that he was a great friend to remember.


 Comment Written 08-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
    Thank you, Sandra. Yes, he was a good friend. :)
Comment by
mermaids
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  129
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  76
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You have a strong steady beat to your words. Luis sounds like he was successful with his work but drank too much and was a loner. The image of Luis with the carving knife is vivid.


 Comment Written 07-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
    Thank you. Luis was a genius with numbers but had problems in life.
Comment by
emmaysavage
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  309
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I really like the art and its message that you chose. You did not keep away the darkness in your tribute. The ending line was very touching. Thanks for this


 Comment Written 07-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
    That you, Emma. Just practicing a new form and he came up. :)
Comment by
aryr
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  36
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  54
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What a wonderful tribute to Luis, Jose. It was a shame that he lost his life to alcohol and smoking. To have you remember him means he was indeed a special friend but at least he was not forgotten. Well done, great rhyme and an amazing picture.


 Comment Written 07-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2020
    Thank you, Alie. :) He was a good friend.

reply by aryr on 07-Oct-2020
    You are so welcome.
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  19
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  54
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow -- such a sad tribute here, Jose, but a really cool form you've used: the linked refrain is new to me, but you use it to great impact here, sir. :) Thanx for sharing Luis in your pen! ;) Yvette


 Comment Written 07-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2020
    Thank you, Yvette. It should be iambic pentameter I messed up on the second line. It is my first try. :)
Comment by
Tina Crute
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I am sorry for your loss. It hurts most when friends or family do things that are bad for them, and we cannot stop it. My Nana was like your friend and she died way younger than grandmas should. She wouldn't stop drinking or smoking. I found her deceased one day and I was so mad at her for awhile, for leaving us. Thank you for writing about your friend and giving us a glimpse of your experience of him. Everything we write has the potential to touch someone, strike a chord they have in common, or entertain them or make them feel.
Did you mean to say...least...at the end of line two?
Thanks for sharing:)
Tina


 Comment Written 06-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2020
    Thank you, Tina. I changed the whole line and still have it wrong. But I like it for being the first time. :)

reply by Tina Crute on 07-Oct-2020
    I like it too. It was a memorable write. Blessings on your day tomorrow:)
    Tina
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  2
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  11
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  2
 

#2 Ranked Author
#5 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Loved your linked refrain about Luis, the accountant! Thank you for writing about him - I remember you mentioned him and I asked you to write about him and you DID! Perfect form and what a wonderful friend you are to love him as a friend despite his drinking problem.

A friend without a doubt to say the lease. (least)


 Comment Written 06-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2020
    Helen, thank you for everything. :) I changed that line. It's still wrong but I like it.
  -1-   Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
In Search of a Better Life
This essay offers steps to achieve a happy and relaxing life


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy