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Deadline: Jan 25th

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Reviews from
Three little words


How can so much damage be caused by

  11 total reviews 
Comment by
--Turtle.
 
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  Rank:  168
 
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Hi, Craig,

A little late, and I don't have much to say, but I wanted to say I read through this one line poem, philosophy... with roots in the golden rule and extension of cooperation and compassion. A strong, powerful, positive message. All packed in a single line with an inner rhyme.

Get rid of the line between them and us... and we could thrive. Solve problems. It would be nice.




 Comment Written 17-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
    Short or long, your reviews are always worthwhile and always valued, Turtle. Besides, your review was a lot longer than the poem :) Thanks, yet again, Craig
Comment by
Sugarray77
Melissa
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Wow, Craig!!! You sure said a lot with a little. I loved this poem and the solid, sensible meaning you have conveyed to us. I hope and know you will do very well in the contest!!

Melissa


 Comment Written 14-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 14-Oct-2020
    Thanks so much for the delightful comments and optimistic predictions, Melissa. Much appreciated, as always. Craig
Comment by
Debbie Pope
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I think you have a winner here. You have reduced all the world's problems to three little words. Seems like the worst flaw in human nature is the need to exclude certain people. Seems like we need to dislike people, and we need others in our group to dislike the same. It's bullying on a massive scale, putting others down so we feel better.
When I used to go to summer camp, our slogan was "we before me." I like your take on the lack of "we-ness." And, it has a better internal rhyme. Hope you win.


 Comment Written 14-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 14-Oct-2020
    Your observations are spot on, Debbie. Seemingly endless are the criteria humans find to divide themselves into two tribes, and those who are not "us" must be subjected to our derision and scorn. It's so self-defeating for the species. Anyway, thanks for the wonderful review and delightful rating. Cheers, Craig
Comment by
catch22
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Hi Craig, well said! Excellent message in a monostitch with a clever incorporation of internal rhyme. I love the sentiment because tribalism leads to dehumanizing and cruelty to benefit the "us" group.


 Comment Written 13-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
    Thanks so much, Pam. There seem to be an almost infinite number of ways we manage to create this divide; none of them are useful, in so far as I can see.
Comment by
Pearl Edwards
 
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There is a great message in your one line poem Craig. them and us - I've never been able to understand why we can't just all be people and that's what your line says to me. We could be, should be. Good luck in the contest,
cheers,
valda


 Comment Written 13-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 13-Oct-2020
    Thanks so much for the lovely comments and the good wishes, Valda. Hope you are well and in reasonable spirits in these trying times. All the best, Craig
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
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A very well-written one-line poem about eliminating three little words that can cause tension between people when there are referred to as them and us.


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
    Thanks very much, Sandra. I appreciate the continued support. Cheers, Craig
Comment by
strandregs
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Exceptional
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You got it simple and on the nail.
Eloquence.
Poetry in caution.
Alas human nature is our greatest for
Never beaten or defeated before
Or ever in the future.
Maybe by a cataclysmic event
: - ))Z.


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
    Thanks so much for the kind comments and the lovely stars, Z. Do you think it will be a cataclysmic event of our own making?

reply by strandregs on 12-Oct-2020
    Probably not
    This hot belly planet.
    Food/air is the key I think

reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
    Hmmm... but isn't the availability of food and breathable air up to us?

reply by strandregs on 13-Oct-2020
    Not if there's an earth quake like Krakatoa
    Or a comet like the dinosaurs
    Any way
    We can only hasten the inevitable
Comment by
2014 Story Writer Of The Year
humpwhistle
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You make a solid point. But I'd contend 'them or us' is even more divisive.
By using 'and', your statement could be construed as inclusive. Them and us implies a coming together. I don't think that's what you're after.

Best of luck.

Peace, Lee


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
    I do take your point, Lee, and thanks for the observation. However, eschewing "them or us" could imply that these two distinct groups do actually exist, but we don't need to make a choice between them. My point, though, is that the concept of there being an "us" and a "them" is a fallacy. We are all made of the same stuff, and we're all in it together. People are individuals and should be treated as such, not all tarred with the same brush because of race, religion, political persuasion, sexual inclination or any of the other membership sets we want to place them into. That's the idea, anyway. Perhaps a bit ambitious for one line. Cheers, Craig
Comment by
Elizabeth Emerald
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#1 Ranked Author!

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Well said, point taken--fine work in one line--may be a winner--good rhyme with fuss/us--nice word choice and pleasing flow. Sugg: use larger type to make it pop. Cheers. LIZ


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the very kind words, Liz, and for the good suggestion. I've made it as big as I could without it wrapping on my monitor. I'd hate to run foul of the committee deciding it was more than one line! Much appreciated, Craig

reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 12-Oct-2020
    Good point! Didn't think of that (DUH!)

reply by the author on 12-Oct-2020
    I think it's four points bigger than it was, so hopefully that will do :)

reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 12-Oct-2020
    YES! You can also experiment with bold type--sometimes it makes the letters too big but give it a try even if you have to downsize a bit.
Comment by
juliaSjames
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If only ... I like this poem of interconnection. This pandemic is revealing that the world needs a vision, a new human order. It's a question of survival.

Very nicely constructed write, Craig. Best of luck in the contest.

Stay safe

Blessings Julia

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 11-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 11-Oct-2020
    Thanks so much, Julia. Yes, it is very much a question of our survival :) Cheers, Craig
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