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camaria

The Limits of I by catch22

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I love the subtle mathematical references! My favorite line by far: 'As we were divided and whole at once.' That all too logical human desire to categorize, box, define and place boundaries upon everything...eluded to beautifully here. Your work is always a joy to read. Nothing I can see that needs improvement. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written by camaria on 25-Jun-2017

The Hungry City by Sallyo
Chapter 1 of the book Sheet and Bones

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What a delicously bone-chilling first chapter! I was really taken with the line 'And what could the old boneyard do?' Like it's inhabitants are old and defenceless. Love it! Well done. No nits that I could see.
Comment Written by camaria on 23-Jun-2017

God'Creations (Chapter Eleven) by Gert sherwood

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Gert,

I especially loved the line heaved life into our soul, such a perfect description as life is weighty and heavy and not to be handled lightly. Lovely work as always. Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written by camaria on 14-Jun-2017

A Simple Aye Would Do by Sallyo
Chapter 10 of the book The Courting of Eileen

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I love how Eilien stamps her foot when she's impatient! You can really tell there's fire in her that's not to be messed with. Sean's moment of agony as he waits for her to return his proposal promise and her initial, innocent lack of understanding was well done. All of it was well done. Couldn't find any errors. Thanks for sharing this lovely chapter.
Comment Written by camaria on 04-May-2017

There's No Denying You Are Not Green by Sallyo
Chapter 9 of the book The Courting of Eileen

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Interesting chapter. I'm curious, having not much fay history at my fingertips...lol, what does holding heritage entail, and what happens when a trace-fay loses their song, is it their family history, some other power? I'm sure you'll reveal all in good time! Superb writing as always. Such a lovely break from my day to read your fine work!
Comment Written by camaria on 04-May-2017

Shamus Indade by Sallyo
Chapter 11 of the book The Courting of Eileen

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Sean's manifestation exudes mischief and Eileen's surprise at him was believable. The rest of the chapter read wonderfully too. Caught one thing that may be an error:

Be damned to the prickles, Mum with right.

Did you mean: Mum 'was' right? I wasn't sure. I was curious to have a glimpse of Sean's manifestaton and your lovely description of him didn't disappoint. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written by camaria on 04-May-2017

How Hard? by Sallyo
Chapter 8 of the book The Courting of Eileen

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Okay, now I'm just a bit jealous of the two of them. A good meal, pudding and being nice with each other twice in one day. Ah, to be young again, or to be fay, or both...lol. I like how you describe their land in snippets of contrast to 'over there', instead of just laying out the obvious differences. Another wonderful chapter. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written by camaria on 04-May-2017

A Leppy inside his Eyes by Sallyo
Chapter 7 of the book The Courting of Eileen

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Tally is just a treat to listen too. I think we all have that one person in our lives who is a sweet and painfully straight forward as her. Nice touch with the beech wood pegs being the reason Tally could sneak on in. I especially liked her reference to waiting until they weren't too busy to talk, as if she'd done them a favour in doing so. Another great chapter. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written by camaria on 04-May-2017

Hot in the Sporran by Sallyo
Chapter 6 of the book The Courting of Eileen

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Very tastefully done. I love how very matter-of-fact these two are with each other. They seem a bit like old souls already. Eileen's concentration on relaxing showed her nervousness in a subtle but convincing way. Sean needs to thank his brother for the good advice :) Very well written as always. Not a thing I could find to improve. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written by camaria on 04-May-2017

How do you Embarrass a Gossoon? by Sallyo
Chapter 5 of the book The Courting of Eileen

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Oh these two are going to be such fun to follow! You build chapters like such enticing, little foundation blocks. Only thing I tripped up on was when Sean said, 'Am I creeping you out?'. I was about to point out that it didn't seem in keeping with the stories dialogue, but you explained it in Eileen's response as something he picked up from 'over there'. Nothing else I could find that stood out as far as errors or improvements. Really well written. Pleasure to read!
Comment Written by camaria on 03-May-2017


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