Chapter 19 of the book The Stoneseekers
Demelza sounds like a physically strong, fascinating character lured by the promise of gold to diminish her moral values.
I can see why you included all the information in this chapter, to let the reader know and understand your main character, but I think it's too much telling and not enough showing.
Demelza goes to the alley entrance to gather her thoughts, but you don't bring us inside her mind to let her reveal her own thoughts to us. You let the narrator tell us.
Instead of telling about her thoughts, share her thoughts in quotes: "I'm far more complex than they believe. They base it on first appearances. I'm more than that."
Demelza kicked a stone, watching it carom of (off) a wall
I hope this helps.
Comment Written by samandlancelot on 20-Apr-2021