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Gypsymooncat

Onan at the Feeder by JP Writer

Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a cute poem that describes these messy birds very sweetly. But I fail to see how this is a haiku considering the syllable count. It should be 5-7-5, but yours goes way over that at each line. Hence the four rating! Hope this helps rather than upsets!
Comment Written by Gypsymooncat on 28-Feb-2020

Why Do Birds Fly?

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You have far more courage than I do my friend! I have often wondered why people:
Hang glide
Jump out of planes
Bungee jump
Parasail (although that may be something I possibly MIGHT consider doing)
Ride roller coasters and other ridiculously scary rides (I've had a few experiences on these rides and I end up sick as a dog every time. And cryin' lol)

As for why birds fly, I do believe you've answered that question for us, in your usual, skilful and creative way. The one thing I got a bit stuck on, was in the first stanza where "that" is repeated three times in the last two lines. The only suggestion I can make - which I don't know if it suits the meter - is to say "That is something that I...thought I would never try".

I'm also pointing that out, because an editor who used to write/review on here, said that over-use of the word "that" and other words like "the", etc., should be avoided as much as possible. I've never forgotten that advice! I know my suggestion probably might not help, or you may not agree, and that is fine.

I enjoyed how you describe the hang-gliding and draw the analogy between it and why birds fly. I have to say, when I'm in a plane, looking out the window, I love the sight of the clouds, the sky, the ground way down below...but even more, I love the sight of the city at night from way up there.

Why do they fly? Because they can! And because they inspire poets to write wonderful poems like this one. All the best in the voting! xoxoxoxoxoxo

Comment Written by Gypsymooncat on 27-Feb-2020
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Waiting for my Dearest Friend by Aaron Milavec

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a lovely way to describe the coming of spring. I think you adhered to the contest rules well, and delivered a strong entry for the contest. Good luck xoxoxo
Comment Written by Gypsymooncat on 27-Feb-2020
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Complicated Beauty by Y. M. Roger

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Bravo Bravo Bravo anonymous poet!!

This was a breathtaking poem, so perfect in every way, and I just LOVED it. The repetition of "water falling from the sky" adds a certain lilt to the tone and additional depth, and made it go from great to exceptional. Good luck xoxoxoxoxo
Comment Written by Gypsymooncat on 27-Feb-2020
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Hatred by easyeverett

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I left the church after being confirmed because of bigotry and hypocrisy. I was 14. I'm not saying those two things only exist within religion, but having experienced both, I went out into the world determined to not let either affect me or influence me. Sadly, I was often too weak to fight those who dealt that shit out.

The meek shall inherit the earth. Not the bigot or the hypocrite.

Love your mastery and artistry, as always Sir Easy. You are an inspiration and an education.

Love your work! xoxo

Comment Written by Gypsymooncat on 27-Feb-2020

Senseless by JP Writer

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

No open wound here...I thought this was a fabulous free verse, and also an equally fabulous entry in the contest. You really draw the reader in, and keep the attention, which is always a wonderful achievement in poetry and writing in general. If you turn out work like this when you're tired, I'd be very interested to see what your turn out when you feel energised lol! Good luck in the votes xoxoxox
Comment Written by Gypsymooncat on 24-Feb-2020
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

A Tale of One Story by Michele Harber

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

As always, you lead the reader along, captivated, than whack them with your closing line.

You have a way of writing where the reader thinks "this is good", but when the climax is reached, that reader says "that was EXCELLENT".

Poor Jason learned a valuable lesson, didn't he? Shame works when nothing else will.

This is a terrific entry, sure to be a winner! Good luck my fine friend xoxoxo

PS: your title is also bloody clever!
Comment Written by Gypsymooncat on 24-Feb-2020

Neatly Pressed by Gloria ....

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I wish I could fill this review with FABULOUS FABULOUS FABULOUS, but I'd have to write that a fair few times to make the minimum character count...sigh...

I really did love this poem; it's so easy and pleasurable to read, tells us not to sweat the small stuff so to speak, and also delivers some wonderful metaphor between sheets and troubles. I got tired at the mere mention of ironing, but was re-energised once I read your ending couplet lol! I just adore the thought behind the words in this poem.

Good luck in the voting!
Comment Written by Gypsymooncat on 23-Feb-2020

We both live for the sun by DR DIP

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Most of us in Australia live for the sun, counting the days until winter racks off, spring does its thing, and summer finally begins.

I enjoyed the be and bop of this, as well as the great rhyme used; both added to the impact.

Great job Doc!
Comment Written by Gypsymooncat on 23-Feb-2020

His Mercy Will Abide by Sandra du Plessis
Chapter 208 of the book 33. Spiritual Poetry

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoy anything that's written well, and this poem surely is. Your rhyme scheme was wonderful, your meter flawless, and I found nothing that was needing improvement.

Thanks for sharing your beautiful poem with us today xoxox
Comment Written by Gypsymooncat on 23-Feb-2020


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