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FourByFour

Cannibal by Marillion

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Gives a whole new meaning to "my better half" doesn't it? Nobody can truly take your heart away though. Small bits and pieces may be reserved for people over a period of time, but it's all still there for you to use. You just have to decide to do that. Nice poem, as always.
Comment Written by FourByFour on 07-May-2007

All Pain, No Gain by Marillion

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm sorry to hear you're dad has taken a turn for the worse, and glad you can once again turn to poetry to express your emotions in a way that I hope is healing for you. Beautiful as always, and heartbreaking as well.
Comment Written by FourByFour on 01-May-2007

Blacksburg by 24chas

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I haven't been reading much on this tragedy, because the few times I have it has just broken my heart, but I knew I wanted to read what you had to say about it. As always, you found a way to take a dark subject and somehow capture it's darkness with such beauty that it is painful.
Comment Written by FourByFour on 19-Apr-2007

Hands of Time (Auld Lang Syne) by Marillion

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm horrible at looking at words on a page and converting them into songs in my head, but this is as solid as everything you write and I really like the way it flows from one place to the next and the subtle changes in words in the second chorus while keeping the same tempo. Great job as always, and good for you for trying something new.
Comment Written by FourByFour on 23-Mar-2007

Amaranthine by Dawn of Tomorrow

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It's rare I love short poems, but this one is truly perfect. I particularly like the old language. I think it really adds to the poem and the meaning. Great job.
Comment Written by FourByFour on 21-Mar-2007

Choices by skipatrol

Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Even after a few readings, it seems unclear as to the meaning of this. I think what bothers me most is the overly long lines of the stanzas, giving away more than they need to, but yet obviously not enough as I still can't pull it all together. The writing is fundamentally solid and with a little work I think you could be an exceptional poet.
Comment Written by FourByFour on 20-Mar-2007

Freedom by TERMITE

Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I see a questioning of "freedom" and the fight for it here that I think could be delved into a bit more, making this a stronger poem. All the same, it's very well done. Slightly confusing with the chatter, but actually I liked it. Maybe I had to read it again, but it's nice to see a new way to going at something.
Comment Written by FourByFour on 20-Mar-2007

Engaged Creative Thought Involved by easyeverett

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really liked your use of vocabulary and the way you've gotten this to flow to a certain beat, but every once in a while I would lose that beat. It made it hard to keep my mind on the words of the poem. I might suggest using puncuation. Iknow you obviously left it out for a reason, but I think it would help the poem.
Comment Written by FourByFour on 20-Mar-2007

Joy by cutie

Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"prettiness blinks"

What a great line. I think it's hard for anyone to express anything meaningfully in such a short space--not impossible at all, I've seen it done many times, just hard. This for me did not embody joy, but fell just a tad short. More than anything it was the last line for me. Didn't quite wrap it up. All the same, great job, well done.
Comment Written by FourByFour on 20-Mar-2007

Spyder Tonight by Oatmeal

Average
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm tempted to write a great review since you review so much (obviously) and will no doubt come across my work. Still, I can't seem to do it. I have to be honest here.

First off, I should admit that I have prejudice against posts that are just small daily happenings with no literary content what so ever. I feel that most of the time it's the evil of fanstory making people want to see new reviews with lots of stars, and that most people give 5 stars for everything here, and definitely for things like this since they don't know how to review them.

Now, besides that... If you're going to post about daily life, fine. But make it interesting. This has no point, no direction, and ends on a completely different note than what it started on, completely unrelated to anything else written. More than that, the dialogue is lazy and boring. You may say, well it's what happened. I say, well, when a man walks across the street, you can say, A man walked across the street, or you can say The man with the jaunty hat walked slowly across the street, oblivious to the blinking red hand attempting to hurry his pace.

I hope this does not offend. I truly wrote it not to get the member cents but to hopefully keep you posting better work.
Comment Written by FourByFour on 20-Mar-2007


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