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Xylok

What Love is This? by MissMerri

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

powerful poem; so true and sad for so many, yet not so sad cuz presumably God wants single mothers or there wouldn't be any; that is if you believe God is in control of the universe. interesting poem; moving. speaks of so many real situations and does so very eloquently.
Comment Written by Xylok on 24-Nov-2015

Stardust, Find Me by MissMerri

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

wow this is beautiful and creative and inspiring and well written and wrought of love and contagious and clever, and or you are, or both, plus replete with profound thoughts and cool vocab choices throughout and metered and cadenced well and the acrostic is tucked neatly in, and pretty. thanks for sharing.
Comment Written by Xylok on 16-Nov-2015

Signed by a Divine Artist by rama devi

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Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

very cool. that is so how it goes down. reminds me of rock structures that look interesting etc after the wind has had its way with them, and rain, and atomic decay etc, gravity. you sum up a very deep and fun topic in few words and do it with wonderful imagery.
Comment Written by Xylok on 24-Sep-2015

I Miss You by MissMerri

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quite cool how you say so much with so little. very powerful. it will make people cry, cuz they'll relate it to missing loved ones, either dead, divorced, missing, whatever, but absent. rad art choice too.
Comment Written by Xylok on 01-Sep-2015

Perdina by MissMerri
Chapter 38 of the book Love Songs For Every Heart

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Perdina was a girl who lost her way
and found herself at last so far from home,
she thought her life was hopelessly undone.
For weeks and months she wandered all alone.

catchy opening plot/imagery.

One night she stumbled blindly through the dark
in search of shelter from the rain and cold.
Discouraged and afraid, she staggered on,
uncertain how her future might unfold.

interesting. makes one wonder what's gonna' happen!

The past grew dim with every step she took

clever

away from home and those who loved her best.
She shivered in the dampness, weak and tired,
but searched in vain for some safe place to rest.

what a situation!

The days, and often weeks of raging hunger
had driven her to scavenge from the bins
of garbage in the alleyways of town,
behind the busy eateries and inns.

well put. good cadence meter etc...


At last her path led out beyond the streets
and up a quiet hillside far from town.
She longed to find some peace beneath a tree,
a place to lay her heavy burdens down.

whatever will she do?!

But peering up the path, she saw instead
a simple cabin, windows all aglow.

cool

Her weary heart leapt up as she perceived
here dwelt a person she might like to know.

I spose so!

With hope renewed, she hurried up the path
and following the light, approached the door.
She paused, absorbing all the smells and sounds,
and knew at once, life could be so much more.

hope!

She raised a trembling hand, prepared to knock,
but suddenly the door swung open wide.
A young man smiled at her with gentle eyes,
then took her hand and welcomed her inside,
and there she saw the table set for three
with fresh-baked loaves of bread and hearty soup,
a bowl of fruit, a pitcher full of milk...
abundant fare, enough to feed a group.

well put again, and cool imagery.

She noticed too, the fireplace burning brightly
and there, before the hearth, a metal tub
half full of water. Suddenly, she thought;
How wonderful to have a bath and scrub
away the weeks and months of filth and shame,
but first a bite of food, a cup of tea
to ease the aching emptiness within.
So weak and faint she'd grown, she didn't see
the grey-haired woman seated in the shadows
until, with effort, she at last arose
to stand beside the rocker where she'd been
attending to the mending of some clothes.

more cool imagery, and pleasant rhymey-rhythm.


Perdina had just turned to seek the warmth
of fire to warm her fingers, cold and numb,
but kindly, the old woman took her arm
and starting toward the table, murmured "Come."

cool

The young man poured a steaming cup of tea
and set it down before the weary lass.
She sipped it eagerly, its warmth so sweet,
she knew the numbness in her soul would pass
and soon she would be strong and whole again.
The kindness of her hosts, the food and tea
were all she had been missing for so long.
She thought with longing, of her family.

sad and happy all at once.


The young man gently took her hand in his
and smiled into her eyes, then bowed his head.
"Our Father, we are grateful for your love
and for this opportunity," he said,
"to share our blessings with a child in need,
and heal a hungering soul who's lost her way."
Perdina felt the tears flow silently,
as she remembered how she used to pray...

fortunate for her! cool again.

and how, so long ago she'd known pure joy
surrounded by her loving family
who cherished her and must now miss her so,
but whom she'd scorned to "find her destiny."

a move so many make when they grow up.

What she had found was sorrow, and deep shame,
but here at last was love and hope again.
She ate with new-found relish as her hosts
refilled her plate, yet so much more remained.

abundance!

Her cup was never empty, though she drank,
and soon her hands and feet and heart were warmed.

cool

She felt her spirit cleansed from deep within,
and knew, before the dawn, she'd been transformed.

I dig the near rhymes.

Perdina shed, at last, her shabby rags
and bathed away the filth from life's dark road.
The woman gave her something clean to wear
and brushed her tangled hair until it glowed.

coolcreative.

She couldn't wait to tell all who would listen
about the wondrous people she had met
who gave her so much more than food and drink,
and changed her life in ways she'd not forget.

:)

The years passed by. Perdina brought her child
to see the place where she had touched the hand
of angels who had prayed for her in ways
that only the redeemed can understand.

powerful stanza; well put.

She and her son looked up the grassy hill
and saw a cabin in the fading light.
The path was worn, but still the window shone
with radiant warmth, dispelling bleakest night.

well said again.

The fragrance of a meal, and fresh-baked bread
came floating on the gentle evening breeze.

upgrade the adjective gentle to something livelier and more memorable and more striking is my advice to take or leave...the fresh-baked bread part, nice!

The memories of life transformed were strong.

well put

Perdina smiled, her happy heart at ease.

fitting ending to a clever creative powerful well rhythmed poem. the story of not only her life but of millions in many ways. universally relatable more or less. great post. can't imagine people not enjoying the ride, other than those folks who hate poetry and happy endings that is, which are few and far between. a surefire hit, in other words. you have a vast range of poetry within you.
Comment Written by Xylok on 25-Jun-2015

Darth Vader: A Pogo-Stick Adventure by pipersfancy

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

im glad you took your son's challenge! this is fantastic. love it. very creative and well written from a poetic standpoint too inasmuch as you nailed the scansion and cadence and meter and so forth of the couplets and quatrains/stanzas whatever one wants to call them I guess. im a fan of both star wars and star trek, so I dug the Vulcan reference in the star wars poem, and I also jammed out to the song, which was a cool addition. the pogo-stick imagery...priceless.
Comment Written by Xylok on 15-Jun-2015

haiku (morning dewdrop) by IndianaIrish

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

its so cool how so few words can accomplish so much. what imagery. I like to imagine being a microscopic animal in the raindrop. great stuff. hope you've been well, Music Queen!
Comment Written by Xylok on 05-Jun-2015

Luckier Than You by visionary1234

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

this is awesome. very creative and super job on cadence and scansion and meter and what not as well. great twist at the end, not to mention funny throughout...clever well written stuff. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written by Xylok on 22-May-2015
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Sublime Delights by Ronni

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

lovely; this is a poem I'd be happy to live in. Very cool feelings emote and the imagery is whatever manifests such descriptions, countless things, from stars to human relationships to animal life and more. great language and enchanting vibe! from the first two words alone I knew it was gonna be cool, and I wasn't disappointed. beautiful sentiments. thanks for sharing.
Comment Written by Xylok on 20-May-2015

Must You Say Nigger? by michaelcahill

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

compelling story and gripping throughout. quite indeed. you wrote... I understand that using that word is a way to defeat its original meaning.

I wonder if an even better way of defeating its original meaning or its popular meaning if they're not the same thing, would be to not be bothered by it in the first place. Isn't it your and other people's disdain for the word that gives it its power? Well, that and the fact that people keep adopting it as a word to use anyway whether those they say it to find it reprehensible, or worthy of 'derision' as you put it, I suppose, but if the word nigger is being used by someone who is using it to mean 'friend' is it such a bad word worthy of derision, despite its glorious context? If he's using it to describe a person with brown skin is it so bad? If he's using it in a write like this one, does he really need to put a caveat in the author's notes concerning himself with the offense others will take from his message? If he's using it to say a brown-skinned person is a bad person, as it is stigmatized to mean, and as some outright define the word to mean, is it even inaccurate if the person IS bad, or is raping someone at the time with full intentions of murdering them as well, or is it just a timely, poignant descriptor same as calling him a brown-skinned person with low morals only more efficiently, or is your larger point that the color of the person's skin shouldn't be mentioned as if it factors into his behavior in the first place, in which case I hear ya, same as I often complain about news articles that read Black Man guns down White Cop, seemingly the media hoping to instigate a racial war to instigate the popularity of media coverage thereof, but that's my cynical side and who really knows why they wrote it that way, you know? If someone calls me a honkey, or a cracker, or ghost, or paste or chalk or whitey or Hitler or ugly or dumb or worthless or retarded or wigger or nigger I am not bothered personally by it; my only concern is for them, that their lives are likely difficult ones to lead, and I seek to find out if they are indeed sad in life in general, seek to find out why they think what they think, in case they have a point, or are on to something, in case it's me who has to do the double-checking, and learning, the noticing, instead of the teaching, and after I hear them out, I decide for myself, or myselves in my case, if I agree or not, and I go from there, but I don't whine or complain or get violent or try to look tough or stand up for others' rights by calling the person names back as I figure each person can afford themselves their own rights, can choose to simply blow off such things, can accept that the world is replete with a wide variety of people each with many philosophies not all of which by a long shot all mesh together and agree in spirit, often exact opposite philosophies, and that's regarding any topic, from whether abortion is right or wrong to capital punishment to whether Star Wars is better than Star Trek to whether something is a tree or a kite to etcetera.

If you want to call me a nigger, I say go right ahead. Feel free. Doesn't mean I am one, and even if I were one, wouldn't mean I have no value, and even if I had no value, wouldn't mean I couldn't make some myself, couldn't change, couldn't hope, for no matter how much you hate me, I will always love you more.

I get where you're coming from, in a sense, detesting the word and so forth, but I think the problem is more about people, and less about words. Same as money; how much is it REALLY worth, you know? Anyway, great post, thought provoking, obviously, and well written, and even heart wrenching and highly emotional in parts; a glimpse of your interesting, gentle soul. Thanks for posting!
Comment Written by Xylok on 18-May-2015


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