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judy corcoran

Spittle by Gungalo

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'never an ounce
of soothsayer's
spittle'....

lol i love this write g-girl...
very acerbic in a nice sort of way
in-depth... there are lies and there are lies and then there are lies... it becomes a problem when people come to believe their own lies

love judy
xxx
Comment Written by judy corcoran on 18-Apr-2013

One day at a time by Sam Mendonca

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hi sam
i really like your interpretaion of the artwork
yes - that pain and longing is definitely in that face

as poetry i find it a little rough in meter, but i hear song rhythm that i like

best of luck in the contest
love judy
xxx
Comment Written by judy corcoran on 18-Apr-2013

senryu (sunny days) by MoonWillow
Chapter 34 of the book Contest Winners (Poetry)

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

lol yes i love this
this is a great senryu - very clever - love the artwork
best of luck in the contest

what more can one say of a short piece that needs no crit - lol word police leave me alone

love judy
xxx
Comment Written by judy corcoran on 18-Apr-2013
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Peace Is... by rama devi

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hi rd
yes i quite like this, although i'm not really a fan of acrostics...
nothing really to crit - great artwork to go with the write... it would make a really cool poster... and an even cooler reality xxx
love judy
Comment Written by judy corcoran on 18-Apr-2013

fly me to the moon by ephraim crud, COS.
Chapter 10 of the book MUDSLINGER

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

lol - hilarious

would've thought for
'would've had me flown there years ago'

'would've had (you) flown there years ago' maybe?


or change
'but me, if i'm to be frank'

to 'but me, if i were to be frank'

do you see what i'm getting at?

love it crud, and btw i'm not a sinatra fan in case you were wondering :)
hugs, judd xxx
Comment Written by judy corcoran on 22-Aug-2012

I Was Your Home and You were Mine by LAFraser

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

lisa- i have a headache due to my attempt to hold back the tears so i could finish reading this

a beautiful letter

reading your footnote, am i to presume you meant to write
'warshed' instead of 'washed'?

by biggest love to you
judy
xxx
Comment Written by judy corcoran on 05-Aug-2012

I am a man by Meta~Mark

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

great opener
'i am a man like any other man
A question without answers
A vagabond with a maelstrom mind'
- such a true descriptive of our existence....

great alliteration, especially in
'A blasphemous black book of burden'
and
'Cast out in a catatonic sword of shame'

i feel there is more to this write that what appears on the surface, and regret my lack of available time to spend in deconstruction...

i am especially intrigued by
'I pray for the end of tyrant guardians'

love judy
xxx
Comment Written by judy corcoran on 05-Aug-2012

Daylight Blessing by artemis53

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very lovely
and this song has to be one of my favourites

just love
'And take in all the glory
That comes with waking up'

can i suggest however, that the last line is a little off rhythm?
perhaps
'As you look (out) through His eyes.' ??


love judy
xxx
Comment Written by judy corcoran on 05-Aug-2012

The Key to Happiness by Heaven Bound

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great write
can I suggest a few things?
just imho I stress

'I keep on trying different keys, I try all life will give;
Yet when I stop and look inside, my peace is like a sieve.' - seems forced for rhyme -
can I suggest
'I keep on trying different keys, I try all life to give;'

'Finally, God revealed the truth - happiness cannot be bought'!
for rhythm 'Finally, God revealed the truth - happiness can't be bought! ' ??

'The empty place inside of me, I've tried so hard to fill'
'of' used in this case is always to my mind poor grammar
can I suggest
'The empty place there inside me, I've tried so hard to fill

'Is unlocked only by the key of yielding to Him my will'
again, for rhythm (scansion)
'Is unlocked only by the yielding of to Him my will.' ??

and 'It is about the truth - His love is the key.'
perhaps
'It is about the truth - His love - that is the key.'


love judy
xxx
Comment Written by judy corcoran on 05-Aug-2012

Marmalade Skies by Maureen's Pen
Chapter 109 of the book Wandering Whispers

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beautifully presented maureen - the music really suits the write - very enjoyable and peacful

i especially like
'I am not afraid of falling
Or failing repeatedly
But only of waking up
Having lost the dream
Hovering just out of reach
Seemingly not mine to keep'
- so true

thank you for sharing
love judy
xxx
Comment Written by judy corcoran on 05-Aug-2012


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