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rose42benn

Breaking Through the Clouds by Gloria ....

Excellent
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"returning elegance that they disdain." This is the best line and I believe summarizes your excellent poem. I have been away from this site for a while, and reading your poem first is a refreshing return for me.
rose
Comment Written by rose42benn on 15-Apr-2018

My Little Girl by nomi338

Good
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The last line, My life left town in a pink backpack, is the best. I wonder if you had started with that, how the poem would have transformed? I think the subject you write about is told a bit too simply.
rose
Comment Written by rose42benn on 21-Aug-2017

Autumn Heart by Curt Mongold

Excellent
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Nice. Old hearts bear the weight of the journey, so to feel young yet with your life's partner is a gift. I think not using any punctuation actually allows the words to seem light and captures the speakers feeling of youth.
rose
Comment Written by rose42benn on 21-Aug-2017

My Beloved Brian by Kerry Robinson

Good
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This is a nice attempt to allow the reader into your pain. Your emotions are strong and heartfelt, but I wish it were more robust. There is more here to tell so keep up the good work.
rose
Comment Written by rose42benn on 21-Aug-2017

Summer Storm by JennaG

Excellent
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Great job! It is so fun to try poetry forms and see how it goes. Your first line sets the stage beautifully and the storm rages on! You allow me to hear and to see the approaching storm while being secured upon the porch.
rose
Comment Written by rose42benn on 19-Aug-2017

Making it Through the Day by artemis53

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love how you begin, your first lines brought me in and I stayed because it just got better and better! I am quite sure when you finished this exquisite piece, you sat back and just knew. Bravo!
rose
Comment Written by rose42benn on 19-Aug-2017

Living or Dreaming by victortouche

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So refreshing. Your poem does not try, it simply is. I am very partial to stream of consciousness writing and your poem fits that, as well as an internal monologue, another favorite of mine. What I love most is that you told her your dreams, didn't ask her hers, but let her know you.
rose
Comment Written by rose42benn on 27-May-2017

The apology by Muffins

Excellent
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I like the first stanza, a quick read and hooks me in. The second stanza loses me because a hoe is a farm tool, you wanted ho. And well, the third stanza I just don't understand, sorry. What was the crime against the doll in the third grade? Perhaps it is just too symbolic for me, I don't know. I have read it a few times, maybe the author was seeking revenge and wants to know if the best friend is sorry? After the last reread going from a four to a five. Gotta love poetry!
rose
Comment Written by rose42benn on 02-Jun-2016

The Rind is the Skin by foxangie123

Excellent
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Okay, first what I would do differently (even though you didn't ask!)
If the appearance of a rind makes one perfectly ripe - I think the singular "appearance" works better with the singular "rind"
then why peel it back in the first place? - it's a question.
because the skin is only to entice and make an offer - an before a vowel.
Now about your poem, love it! What a wonderful way to say that beauty is only skin deep and it is what is on the inside that counts. On the flip side, it is sad to think that the sweetness to be found within many is never discovered because the rind is not so appealing. Nice job.
rose
Comment Written by rose42benn on 02-Jun-2016

Hush, Child ... by Dean Kuch

Excellent
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Whispering to the child not to tell and the blame shall be yours? Such a play on words within a well planned poem, nicely done.
rose
Comment Written by rose42benn on 02-Jun-2016


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