My Comments

A Big Shock by DecrepitOldBag
Chapter 11 of the book Keri-Karin

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I can feel your despair in this chapter about going home. It's so sad that everyone in charge didn't believe you and even laughed about it. But now you are open to other dangers. Good writing!

Comment Written by vandawalker on 09-Sep-2010

Her Knight by cheyennewy

Excellent

I like..."the knight and lady blend their souls". This has beautiful poetic imagery that brings out the powerful word pictures of romance. Good writing!

Comment Written by vandawalker on 06-Sep-2010

Blinded Justice by Michele Brewer

Excellent

Guilty as charged but released on a technicality! Unfortunately, this seems to happen often. This theme is a good story line and you build nicely toward the ending which is a gruesome one. Good writing!

Comment Written by vandawalker on 06-Sep-2010
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

A Tolerant Day by highlander104

Excellent

Cute story! Out of the mouths of babes comes true wisdom. I like the back and forth of the questions and answers. But the ending wins the prize. Good work!

churches [and] (than) you're friends

Comment Written by vandawalker on 06-Sep-2010
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

DNA Never Lies Pt. 2 by FredCollingwood
Chapter 117 of the book Treating Evil

Excellent

This is a good twist to the story. Sometimes big crimes are solved from something small that the perpetrator did. It seems as if they got Matthew which is a good thing for one so troubled. I'm not sure how the title goes with the happening in this chapter. I've maybe missed some of the evidence. But I've enjoyed the take down writing.

Comment Written by vandawalker on 06-Sep-2010

30 Seconds by xandru

Excellent

This brings out the emotions of love and need. The poem compares this to the motions of the sea and therefore has many poetic imagery involved. Good writing! I like..."You constrict my heart
and seize its beat," which brings out intensity.

Comment Written by vandawalker on 06-Sep-2010

An Evening with Sandy by Belinda

Excellent

What a sweet picture of your granddaughter. I like the scene in the story. I can remember wishing for a long nap after work only to be faced with more work. Your writing brings out many emotions but the lesson is a good one to remember. Good writing!

Comment Written by vandawalker on 06-Sep-2010

An Excitingl Day by Dave Larson
Chapter 11 of the book The Campus Cop

Excellent

I like the humor in the ending. The fight scene was awesome. I could picture each move. The sense of danger from the phone calls builds more suspense and conflict. This is just a small suggestion, but I think the long run of dialogue needs to be interspersed with descriptive writing of where they are, what it looks like, etc. Good story!

crowd of student(s) that

Comment Written by vandawalker on 05-Sep-2010

Baby Bird by Sacred Heart

Exceptional

This work has reached the exceptional level

You hit the nail on the head with this one. You are so good with writing about animals. I love..."I feel the cloak
Of your soul". But the whole theme of love catching us when we fall and "always live where we are" are truly eye opening. Your poem moves smoothly while bringing out all of this wisdom. Excellent job!

Comment Written by vandawalker on 05-Sep-2010

Half Empty by Belinda

Excellent

This is a very positive slant on the glass being half empty. I like the theme of filling it with learning. Thank you for the tribute to your reviewing friends at fanstory. This has an excellent visual in words and with the picture. Good writing!

Comment Written by vandawalker on 02-Sep-2010