Quite honestly, I was going to give this a four-star review because there are many writing issues that need to be addressed. Then, I got to the ending, which I didn't expect (I really thought the twist was going to be another one) and felt that the ending earned the five stars. There are a few corrections I would like to suggest, however:
Chills slithered down her spine, realizing her eighteen-year-old daughter was never coming home as she realized she will never see Cindy's infectious smile, --> she would never see
she requested and given a leave of --> and was given
having been childless in her ten-year of marriage. --> ten years of
and pray she will abandon the evilness that imprisoned her. --> she would abandon, could abandon?
Their conversations were trivia. --> were trivial
He did most of the talking, bragging of being a star quarterback --> bragging about having been
"The only job my brother knows is pressing the buttons on the remote. --> Close the quotations
She smirked, knowing the stranger was too intoxicated to see his glass let alone Ed's. --> his glass, let alone Ed's
The week before he deplored to Afghanistan. --> I believe the word you want is deployed
Liz threaded the floors of her apartment, --> I think you meant treaded
became hardened for a man who disabled the joys that Cindy will never have. --> Cindy would never have
Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written by Jamie P on 02-Feb-2019