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Jamie P

The Year I Died and Went to Prison by Stephanie Launiu

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a thought-provoking piece. It is so sad how people get lost in a system that sets them up to lose in the first place. I love your starting set up, the first line. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written by Jamie P on 03-Feb-2019

The Cat's Meow by Tootie

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your dualing dribbles made me giggle. I can somehow imagine two women talking on their phones right past each other, unknowingly talking about the same person. Thank you so much for sharing!
Comment Written by Jamie P on 02-Feb-2019

Blind Justice by Tpa

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Quite honestly, I was going to give this a four-star review because there are many writing issues that need to be addressed. Then, I got to the ending, which I didn't expect (I really thought the twist was going to be another one) and felt that the ending earned the five stars. There are a few corrections I would like to suggest, however:

Chills slithered down her spine, realizing her eighteen-year-old daughter was never coming home as she realized she will never see Cindy's infectious smile, --> she would never see

she requested and given a leave of --> and was given

having been childless in her ten-year of marriage. --> ten years of

and pray she will abandon the evilness that imprisoned her. --> she would abandon, could abandon?

Their conversations were trivia. --> were trivial

He did most of the talking, bragging of being a star quarterback --> bragging about having been

"The only job my brother knows is pressing the buttons on the remote. --> Close the quotations

She smirked, knowing the stranger was too intoxicated to see his glass let alone Ed's. --> his glass, let alone Ed's

The week before he deplored to Afghanistan. --> I believe the word you want is deployed

Liz threaded the floors of her apartment, --> I think you meant treaded

became hardened for a man who disabled the joys that Cindy will never have. --> Cindy would never have

Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written by Jamie P on 02-Feb-2019

The Sociopath by Bill Pinder

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think writing Flash Fiction is such a fascinating endeavor. You manage to depict a world that makes me insecure, really. Who can you trust? One phrase did sound strange to me, though, as into the grammar. I put it into Grammarly and it agreed, suggesting you add commas to the following sentence:

"relishing, even more, the knowledge that his naive friend was soon to be his lifeless victim. "

Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written by Jamie P on 02-Feb-2019

Abandoned by TheStoryMan

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well now, that is just sad. I love how the way you manage words gives a sense of innocence to your "character" (puppy). It makes me glad I adopted my pups from the shelter. Great job.
Comment Written by Jamie P on 31-Jan-2019

Don't Come Visit in the Afterlife by Louise Michelle

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh my, I'm not quite sure what kind of friendship this is! I really enjoyed reading this poem. It is the kind of thing that makes me want to share with other people because it brought a smile to my face. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written by Jamie P on 31-Jan-2019

The Psychic by humpwhistle

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is great! I have recently started getting into Flash Fiction and this is one of the best examples I have come across. I love that humor and the images that you build. Reading it gave me a desire to know more of a story, which I think is a measure of a truly successful story. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written by Jamie P on 31-Jan-2019

Government Shutdown by Jeffrey L. Michaux

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love how so much can be said with something so short. Your work is very thought-provoking and manages to question many "pillars" of society. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written by Jamie P on 31-Jan-2019
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Tsunami by Dorinda Palmisano

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really like the repetitive line in this poem. I think you have a wonderful play on images here, from the consideration of what the "island" is and how that can be adapted (in a way) according to what each person lives through. Just a quick note, in the second verse "On this island" ends with :, not sure if that is done on purpose? Thank you for sharing
Comment Written by Jamie P on 31-Jan-2019

Winter's Laughing Hills by Mrs. KT

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your poem is a great way to bring up visuals. Living in a place that doesn't get snow falls, it brings up the feeling when I first saw snow (and first fell face first in it). I get very happy vibes from your work. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written by Jamie P on 31-Jan-2019
Read and reviewed with blinders on.


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