Glass Half Full
A little optimism is just what I need at the moment and this cute little poem with even cuter hero, hit the mark, told from an animals point of view using a technique I appreciated and using a very clever paradox regarding two different types of glasses - one literal, the other, figurative. I had trouble reading the fourth line, first stanza in the established metre and and being Australian too, I didn't think I could be putting the emphasis in a different place than you Tony but I just couldn't get this line to read the same as the rest and I really tried. In doing so, I saw the difficulty incorporating the words "without fail". "His life is good and cannot fail" is one possibility I suppose and please forgive me for saying so, but I believe your poem, regardless of its cute brevity, deserves something more "Tony like" than "without fail". (I have probably just lost a friend but I hope not).
I don't for a moment mean for you to substitute your judgement for mine but may I suggest the following for your consideration. It changes your final line and even the end rhyme in the third so anyway, with my apologies, here goes:
Madrid today is forty-two
Too hot for me -- Pablito, too.
While I complain, he wags his rear
To fail's not in this dog's career.............. (or something along these lines).
Perhaps your poem is an illustration of how using the same number of syllables in every line, does not guarantee a smooth metre and perhaps, this review is an example of Blue Pixel arrogance and obsession with timing but in any event,
I don't see the point in reviewing anything other than honestly. I always hope never to offend but just to offer another way of looking at your own words and thoughts. I will doubtless regret sending this to you especially as you are a such a fine poet but it is just my opinion. I think you will understand what I am trying to say very clumsily. I know you will being a glass half full kind of guy. lol x Carol
Comment Written by the blue pixel on 23-Aug-2014