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Van

The Doll by evesayshi

Excellent
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oooh very chilling. What an excellent springboard to what could be a very frightening story. Wonderful use of layers. The scary doll becomes second to the quiet, "You shouldn't have done that." Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written by Van on 07-Aug-2018
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Eternal love... by trimple

Excellent
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Well done!! I actually thought of dentures soaking in a glass of liquid on the night stand all night. I don't know exactly why. I've never actually seen that as far as I can remember. Excellent choice of art to complement your poem. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written by Van on 02-Aug-2018
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Diet Blues by Mustang Patty
Chapter 2 of the book 2018 Short Stories

Excellent
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Well stated in such a short work. Not all think the 'cat models' are attractive. It is a point of interest that they become the standard to which a large number gage against though.
No SPAGs to note.
Excellent submission for the contest.
Comment Written by Van on 01-Aug-2018

The Miracle I know Isn't coming by Delores Poindexter

Excellent
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Having just lost my father to pancreatic cancer this past December, I can relate to what it's like to see the afflicted struggle with not only the disease but with how they feel they fit in or don't. It's a roller coaster ride for everyone, and not one that's all that enjoyable. Probably the single most personal experience we can have is dying.
Flowed well. Reads smoothly. Well done.
Comment Written by Van on 01-Aug-2018

Hog and Dog and Frog by kiwijenny

Excellent
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haha...very cute. Sounds kind of like a cross between Dr. Suess and something from Gilbert and Sullivan. I'll have to tell ya, some time, 'bout the frog who goes to get a loan from the 1st National Amphibian Bank so he could remodel his lily pad.
No SPAGs or adjustments. Fun read.
Comment Written by Van on 01-Aug-2018

Ode to Writer's Block by Lady Jane
Chapter 33 of the book Writing the Senses

Excellent
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The pic coupled with the type font and theme had my mind ticking away with the letter of each word to the end of each line. Then I'd return, ssssshhhhhwik with the return of the carriage and dinggggg, resounded at the end of the carriage return to start all over again. No SPAGs to note. Well done.
Comment Written by Van on 01-Aug-2018

Work Here God's There by Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent
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Well, it was 60 words in a sentence. I don't know that I've ever seen so many prepositional phrases strung together before. Makes for an interesting writing prompt.
Comment Written by Van on 01-Aug-2018

In God We Trust by Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent
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Wonderful thought Alcreator Litt Dear. It would be so much better if there were a way to implement such a concept without the destruction of humanity itself. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written by Van on 01-Aug-2018

Viper's Sting by Lady Jane
Chapter 46 of the book Writing the Senses

Excellent
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Very nicely done. The alliteration with 'bought and beastly' as well as 'poisoned and prey' make a nice contrast to all the sssss'ss slithering throughout your poem. The black and white text along with the same type of picture complements this well. Fun read.
Comment Written by Van on 31-Jul-2018

The Fanstory Blues by Artasylum

Excellent
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Wonderfully composed. I was hoping you'd sweep the whole batch of them (random conjunctions) off your desk and create without using the conjunction to cause enjambment from one line to another. (and you did, or didn't ...whichever your perspective) Excellently flowing rhythm makes this a joy to read. Good luck with the contest. No SPAGs to note.
Comment Written by Van on 31-Jul-2018


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