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jimbo starr

The Next Day by mckennam

Good
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Simple, to the point, sad, real and fits the 5-7-5 in a neat smart way? Splitting up the words to count the syllables is so time consuming and your efforts seem to work well. A strong message with maybe more strength in 'cries' rather than 'lays'. All in all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Life is so 'it'. Is never 2 syllables? Good one and good luck.
Comment Written by jimbo starr on 24-Mar-2012

Late for Supper by Phyllis Stewart

Excellent
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Totally worthy of some illustrations to enhance a best seller children's book. Smart flow, rhyme and thought. One of the nicest, 'cute', 'Walt Disney(Bambi) type poems I have read. I reckon you could even tighten more from the last 2 stanzas but even that would be a 'hard' ask. Simply the best with a smile into the land of a child. 5+++++++++++++++++++++
Comment Written by jimbo starr on 24-Mar-2012

Midnight's Fall by Gungalo

Excellent
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Poet of the year? Must say poet of 'infinity'. How do you get so much up on FS of such quality and consistence? I can see 'Gungalo' as this energy that floats between life, time, death, future and love. Do you paint? I can imagine all your poems poured out in mixed paint and this 'new' art would just 'form'. You are a true 'artist'.
Comment Written by jimbo starr on 24-Mar-2012

On Days of Hoarfrost by phill doran

Excellent
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Nice solid effort on a style like-able and maybe to some robot minds unimaginable. Time warp in time machine to 'Edgar A. Poe'( I think 'The Raven'?) and mix this in with your 'new' style and maybe not so new after all. A good slant on nature and all the blood-lust and beauty involved. If one can get inside your head and read this 'it works'. Maybe a look into 'less is more' and being to involved emotionally. However still a beautifully descriptive piece with knowledge and wisdom of real animal life, blood and peace. For the 'new style' a 5. For the layout a 4. For the writing a 6.= A very cool 5, dude.
Comment Written by jimbo starr on 23-Mar-2012

High School by Lenora

Excellent
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Karma rules!. A well put together piece here that reeks of knowledge beyond your years. Your essence of poetry is within the lines, words, text, syllables, written out to make 'High School'. The strength of this piece is good but could be so much more with an angle on say 'Philosophy and maybe diary'.
The flow, even without rhyme, still relies on rhythm and your use of 'painting the picture' is outstanding. A re-look over this with thought on 'flow' and 'less is more' could create a masterpiece that the world at high school will remember. But always write from the 'Gut'. This little saying may inspire you to even greater heights. 'I am,I can, I don't have to, and it doesn't matter.J.S. Cool story.4++=5
Comment Written by jimbo starr on 22-Mar-2012

Barack Obama by LilHippie

Excellent
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Super cool message on the struggle to guide the people of this planet through political power and, maybe failure? I can see why this type of poem would receive so many responses as politics seem to have kept this world in a melting pot of madness since invoked by power seeking men. I may have slipped the collar of submission but your piece here at least gives hope and maybe some time for the next generation. Tough gig and power to you for the vision to write this very good and clear message with cool rhyme and flow. J.S.
Comment Written by jimbo starr on 22-Mar-2012

Of plowshares and pruning hooks by Donya Quijote

Excellent
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Finally a message of truth and blood. Love this. The scene you have used could show the 'battle' between growth and death of the human struggle to survive. A piece as this paints an honest picture of 'us' and well done to you. I was only thinking today that about the great wars and 'land' was the common denominator. Land=food=life. Most of my poems etc. Are about self surviving now. I like this, I love this, I send you a 5+++++++++++ and write more from the 'gut' stuff.
Comment Written by jimbo starr on 22-Mar-2012

That Hillside by Gungalo

Excellent
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Writing the essence of a memory in a poem works to a tee in "That Hillside". Color within 'who' ever this is and a vision into the very soul of 'love' in a physical, mystical, and metaphysical way. The feel of this takes me back to the original film 'The Highlander'. He was so in love with a woman but he stayed young as she aged. So much love and so much pain can equal pure love sometimes as 'That Hillside' paints.
Comment Written by jimbo starr on 22-Mar-2012

Cleansing by DIS-illusioned

Excellent
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Super cool message under the rules of the contest. Concise, flowing and mind grabbing. A poem to 'nag' at ones' brain and ask the question of 'not me, but maybe'. Of course we all say "Shut-up" and move on with our make out lives. Neat and tidy.
Comment Written by jimbo starr on 22-Mar-2012

Unreal Poets by Chris Tee
Chapter 319 of the book Life's Reflections

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well done C.T. on the poem being under the best pick banner. Sure is a blast at who ever and I like the way you explain the deal under 'Author notes'. 'Triolet'? First one I have read so far and maybe one day will try one on. Looks hard? Great run on this and love the title 'Unreal poets'. Same deal in the music scene with 'Unreal musicians'. Under the rules of the notes this flows well and hammers the message home. Will use this as a study for 'Triolet' knowledge.
Comment Written by jimbo starr on 22-Mar-2012


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