by Dawson Avery
I didn't see until the end that this was a dialogue only you carried it well.
The transitions from part to part were a little abrupt, but it was a tough assignment.
There were a few errors in part one that you corrected later:
This world, our world. (, any)Any world,
All I can say (is) , this shit better be random like most people believe these days.
. I hate to think of what kind of cruel being would make all this (,) and make us (,) just to watch us squirm and suffer and die.
John. (, please)Please, don't ruin this opportunity for us to be together and talk
All in all, it was well done with nice tension and good character development.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written by gene roush on 20-Nov-2018