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Snore23

Madigan's Pub by barkingdog
Chapter 84 of the book Enduring Hearts

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Fantastic work. The depth and detail you've put into these characters shows after just a short read. The dialogue is excellent, and really puts the reader into a seedy bar on the side of a river or town where workingmen hang out and conduct gambling or arrange affairs to their liking. Well done with the idea of the brawl. I could picture the fight starting, but I was caught flat-footed when you decided to throw everyone into it. It was rousing!

I wouldn't have minded a bit more detail in the fight-I'm the kind of person who likes to read super descriptive stuff that practically paints the scene itself, puts it on a hammer, and nails it into my skull. Having to think of how the fight was going without the written clues was fun though, so I can see why you would like to leave it that way.

Again, completely well done!
Comment Written by Snore23 on 08-Sep-2013

Maddie's a Screamer by barkingdog
Chapter 74 of the book Enduring Hearts

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An excellent piece. The emotion of the characters, the trials and tribulations of sibling rivalry, especially at that young age were fantastically well done. Just enough detail to get the reader understanding what was happening, while the emotion continued to move. Well done!
Comment Written by Snore23 on 12-Aug-2013

Patience Reveals a Secret by barkingdog
Chapter 57 of the book Enduring Hearts

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A very well written chapter. The dialogue flows extremely well, and the emotions of the characters are almost palpable. It gives a little thrill to the reader, who feels as if they are sitting in a table next to the group and listening in to the conversation unobtrusively.

An excellent job. Believe me, you deserve every star!
Comment Written by Snore23 on 19-Jun-2013

(Asrava) The illusion of the body 2 by gene roush
Chapter 24 of the book strings

Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hmm. Not sure where you were trying to go for this. Got kinda lost. Is there more to the start of the book? Perhaps telling what is going on with Jamal and Brian? Don't know what else to offer. The prose was strong, and the conversations were there, I just couldn't seem to follow the thought.

Good luck. Hope this was helpful.
Comment Written by Snore23 on 29-May-2013

Ecstasy by fastdigits

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nice. I found myself wanting to see more. I enjoyed the writing immensely, and while I am no expert on poems, I found the rhythm and movement excellent and the words had a sort of ringing quality that echoes in me. Congratulations!
Comment Written by Snore23 on 29-May-2013

a wave from the shore by ephraim crud, COS.

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The rhythm was good, and the message is clearly of sorrow. While I know little of this type of genre, and almost nothing of poems and such, this is a particularly moving piece that I enjoyed. Thank you.
Comment Written by Snore23 on 29-May-2013

Realization by barkingdog
Chapter 52 of the book Enduring Hearts

Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Quite the exceptional piece. I was impressed by the depth of the characters, the easy by-play and banter, and the feel of the people around them. Though there was much missing as this is an excerpt, if this well-thought out piece is any indication, then the rest of the book must be an excellent read. Congratulations on a stellar piece!
Comment Written by Snore23 on 29-May-2013

Life Adventure #1 by Tedisking

Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An...interesting story. I found it an interesting read, and although while I thought it didn't flow as well as it could, the action sequence was engaging. If I might give my opinion, I might suggest adding an extra detail here and there. Couldn't hurt. Great job though. Good luck!
Comment Written by Snore23 on 25-May-2013

Within a Few Letters by GregoryCody
Chapter 2 of the book Sewn Into the Sky

Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your words are inspiring, and it is clear to me that you deeply care for this woman. Your prose is flowing, elegent. You accurately describe this woman, this muse of your heart. I congratulate you heartily, and wish you the best of luck in your work.
Comment Written by Snore23 on 25-May-2013

A tale of two personalities. by Curt Winslow
Prologue of the book King's Bypoint

Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I found the story interesting. You have a good premise here, but I found it short, and your principle person seemed to repeat himself in his speech. I found that turned me off of him as a speaker. Another thing, I really like having detail in my writing, especially "stage" details. You said they were at a stage. Was it in an auditorium? Outside? In the middle of a volcano? Perhaps a bit more about the crowd too. Where they a mix? Angry,excited, perhaps middle class, working class, folks from the street? Other than that, I found it okay. I hope you found the stuff helpful.
Comment Written by Snore23 on 25-May-2013


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