One Of The Multitude Of Ways . . .
by Nescher Pyscher
Chapter 29 of the book Itching Whispers
Wow all Nesch all the time. This is so right out of how many relationships? Well not out of the ones that don't have it figured out. What I love is that this is sooo universal, yet the wisdom you contain leaks out all over the place.
I love how your dialogue is so strong that it stands on its own, but it is just dialogue, I am in no way going to hit your writing here, as it stands, it is so much, but I would love to see it as more, you have the bones, I would like to see some flesh - take it away from the universal ( a bit) and give the characters life. You could leave it as the undefined him and her, but give them movement, pillow fights or something and take it to another realm, make it a complete world.
I know that some of your writing is all dialogue, and I love that, but I can't help wanting to see the naked scene raw and open for all to read- I'm rambling, must go take my pills.
Just my thoughts, fiddle with it and see if you like it, if not ignore me, what do I know?
tell Christine I said hi!!!!
Comment Written by Writermom on 04-Aug-2008