My Comments

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Strong rhymes include near/dear and shock/rocked.

The youngest always appear to be the most non-conforming as demonstrated by the screeching baby in the middle of the congregation.

Poem fits the contest well.

Comment Written by Brett Matthew West on 20-Nov-2020

Child's Play by roof35

Excellent

Appropriately titled, this story reminds of the Lone Ranger and Tonto, as well as the innocence and carefree days of yesteryear's youth. Really drew the reader in.

Then, to be honest, the ending completely lost it for me. Most definitely could have done without those fond memories of childhood being trampled on by a cell phone and Black Friday. To me, that totally changed the parameters of the story.

Good luck in the contest.

Comment Written by Brett Matthew West on 20-Nov-2020
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

The Shootout by nancy_e_davis
Chapter 4 of the book Windows To The Past

Excellent

S3/L3 - shot gun should be shotgun

Reminds somewhat of Big Iron by Marty Robbins.

Good Westerns are getting rare these days. Enjoyed this one.

Good thing little brother was on the scene to help out with the outlaw.

Comment Written by Brett Matthew West on 18-Nov-2020

The Swamp by Liz O'Neill
Chapter 20 of the book Traffic

Excellent

Linda grabbed her nose her? Seems to be missing something there.

A giant Tortoise - Tortoise does not need to be capitalised

Close enough hear should be close enough to hear

Should be a space between school,playfully

Interesting story.

Good to have helpful friends in times of need.

My reviews are mere suggestions. Feel free to use anything that provides assistance and/or chuck the whole shebang.

Comment Written by Brett Matthew West on 18-Nov-2020

The Shooting Trip by LisaMay

Excellent

Cool surprise ending that he was not hunting an animal but the moon.

In P2 it's should be its because you are not saying with it is comforts of warmth, but the warmth belongs to the city.

Comment Written by Brett Matthew West on 18-Nov-2020
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Betrayal Chapter 8 by sandramitchell
Chapter 8 of the book Betrayal

Excellent

Action opens up with Tania anxious about answering the phone.

Seems by the tone of her voice, Tania definitely does not want anything to do with Colin. Then, she agrees to meet him with her recorder in tow.

In P8, should old times' sake be old time's sake?

First a drink, then lunch, then what follows? That becomes the question.

Ending lends to possible disaster occurring.

Comment Written by Brett Matthew West on 17-Nov-2020

Age Comes Too Soon by Hopeful2

Excellent

So much truth in that observation about being scared to the core.

Seems the older one grows the more predominant that fear becomes.

Well crafted poem conveys that message spot on.

Comment Written by Brett Matthew West on 17-Nov-2020

Monstrosity by kmoss

Excellent

Seemed the wizard tried to right the wrong but just made too many fatal mistakes.

Strong rhymes used throughout this poem include gulp/pulp and antidote/gloat.

Lesson learned to leave well enough alone.

Comment Written by Brett Matthew West on 16-Nov-2020
Read and reviewed with blinders on.

Take the lowest place... by royowen

Excellent

So true that should not let what others think about you be the yoke that holds you down.

Another invaluable lesson Jesus taught, if mankind would only listen.

Strong rhymes used throughout this well crafted poem.

Comment Written by Brett Matthew West on 16-Nov-2020

We'd Love To Have You by Cynthia Adams1

Excellent

616= might consider making this 666, If only for effect.

These two houses well define their intended purposes. The second one sounds much more inviting for worldly people. The first one, which is obviously the right choice, sounds pious and pristine. Like you provided full addresses.

According to the contest requirements, supposed to be apartments, may be a concern over word choice of "house" instead?

Comment Written by Brett Matthew West on 13-Nov-2020
Read and reviewed with blinders on.